For your poems.
It Looked At Me
I stood in my doorway on a day
Nothing special, nothing the same
A crack, a flash
It created a grey war above
And dampened the ground
Around
My vulnerable figure
The feelings were forming
In the pit of my stomach
I try to fight them
Where did they come from?
I asked over
And over
I looked up at the waging war
The culprit at hand
And it looked at me too
H A P P Y
happy
H A P P
Y aren’t I
H A P P
Y don’t I want to go outside?
Sunshine used to make me
H A P P
Y does it now sting my creaking mind?
H A P P
Y is my room such a mess if I can’t even get out of bed where I spin dreams of HAHAHA happiness, a heavy heaving chest
I’m so incredibly un
H A P P
Y now I can’t even smile?
Now at least not on the inside
How can my brain spell so well but my body can’t make […]
I feel like an asshole I let my emotions get to me, my fear crippled me like a sick child with polo. My thoughts run wild like horses in the night with no one to tame them but the morning sun. I sit here and I feel guilt, shamed by how I acted, sickened by the reflection in the mirror. I guess I’m so use to getting hurt that I just expect it from anyone anymore so my head tells me these lies as I wonder off in no mans land and believe these whispers that I’m told like an evil Ventrillquist who plays with […]
If it’s a surprise I’m gay… wow right? Sometimes I think I can find love but I know I’m never gonna get it, my mind plays tricks on me saying “He likes you” but then just have my heart ripped out and broken into pieces. Turned into dust, having dreams where I’m happy and everything is right but it can’t be like that can it? So why do I care he’ll never like a disgusting broken boy, yet I still want to try. Whenever he wanted to ask me to go somewhere with him, see him at the park, or even when he acted like a […]
Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.
Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.
I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:
1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in […]
My heart is on the floor around, and the sickness that has haunted me all my life, is taking a human form.
She [the sickness/disease ] is crawling to my knees to keep it’s weight on me, she doesn’t want me to move forward. At this time all I can make, is thoughts.
At times like these I like to gather my self into a greater form. I like to heal the wounds by giving them reasons and justifications – I’m walking alone, but I’m the one who is paving the path. Healing the woulds is something to be done with mind only.
But….
but the wounds keep coming […]
The sickness came
We didn’t know
what it was, or
if it would stay or go.
The doctors said,
“She won’t stay long”
but we still hoped
that the were wrong.
Then she went
she flew away
God took her home
She’s there to stay.
When she went
I fell apart
it pierced me through
just like a dart.
Picked up back habits
I knew they were bad
had no other explanation
other than that , “I’m sad.”
Changed my life
the way I lived
most of it
was not what I wanted.
My dad told me,
“Think about you Mom.”
‘When she’s looking down at you
is she proud of who you’ve become?’
My friends told me,
“Keep your head up,
You’ll be fine.”
How could they know
What’s next in line.
*just a poem I wrote […]
The clock strikes midnight
and the demon came
it went with the still wind
and lingered.
Its screeching voice
whispering death to me.
They asked me.
“Why do you cut yourself?”
They asked me.
“Why are there scars in your body?”
They asked me.
“Are you crazy?”
They told me.
“Attention seeker at its finest.”
And i sighed. Breathed heavily and walked away.
Whats the good in telling them what my demons tell me what to do, it’s better to keep my insanity to myself.
Because it’s better keeping everything inside rather than telling the world who doesn’t know how to listen.
I’ve never believed this before.
So naive of me.
Naive enough to settle around with the idea that people are to be trusted and to be humbled the fact that they will always keep you sane.
Never believed in such saying until friends turn to enemies and laugh turns to frowns and until then when my heart has been shuttered by the awful truth that friends can be a sharp tool towards the breaking of your own sound mind.
And so when i felt my world crushing down, I came to the standing ground of believing that the only one you can trust is yourself.
My brain itches with thoughts I can’t scratch
My body in stiches of moments I can’t catch
I lay tormented in pieces of my broken past
I pray for hope, for peace and love that lasts
Persephone’s nightmare
Lyrics (English translation):
Where once pennyroyal and wild mint grew
and the first cyclamen sprang up,
now peasants bargain on cement prise
and birds fall dead in melting furnace
Sleep Persephone
in earth’s embrace,
to this world’s balcony
never come up again
where once the mystics joined their hands
reverently before entering the sanctuary,
now passing tourists throw their cigarette butts
and go to see the new oil refinery
Sleep Persephone
in earth’s embrace,
to this world’s balcony
never come up again
where once the sea was blessed
and flocks and herds bleated joyfully in […]
So much time has passed now,
so many lives have faded,
so many selves have come and gone.
So many sleepless nights…wanting, waiting, wasted
Why have I taken this life?
This sloth existence
The world turns – never ending
My world full of failures – collapsing
I am me, my life is not and I am left wanting
Always craving more
Damned to mediocrity
Take me now, show me who I should be, show me who I have always been
Rip away the facade, the faces
Stripped and naked soul – my soul
Show me
Desperation sets in now..panic, obscurity
Stop the world from turning