the reason why i want to kill myself is because you do this bullshit and presume your words over mine, you fucking deleted my post? THAT’S WHY I WANT TO KILL MY SELF YOU SICK FUCK! YOU HAVE A FUCKING EGO YOU HAVE FUCKING JOB YOU FUCKING LIKE MAKING OTHERS FEEL LIKE SHIT!
Rants
I keep trying to trudge on through. I keep trying to tell myself “it’ll get better” but there’s just this overwhelming bellowing scream in my soul that exclaims “fuck it!” “bail! bail! bail!” “don’t kid yourself, get it over with NOW!!!” I feel torn and conflicted because on the other side there’s this tiny voice that tells me to “please hold on, it will get better” I’m exhausted on this inner argument inside my mind. I just want my mind to SHUT THE FUCK UP! and what better way to do that than suicide? I’ve been hoarding my meds. So far I have enough adderall […]
Set to the music “The Fool on the Hill.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNfS9Ywb2Cc
I have become the clouds. No feelings, just expression. They only appreciate in passing. A compliment here, a compliment there, their heads turn back, to the ground. Beautiful, for those that look. But I am not beautiful, its just a point of view. Clouds at night, hidden from everyone. Unable to see no matter how hard you strain. Sadness, happiness, productive. Irrelevant. No one understands the work that goes into forming me. The sun, creating a phase transition of water, condensing back down… I form rain, snow, thunder. Some hate, others love. Emotionless either way. Some fly […]
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
Why is it possible for your words to trump mine but that my words never trump yours? You’re going to say “My word doesn’t always trump yours.” That’s what is known as either irony or a paradox. Why the fuck should I do anything at all and why the fuck do you tell me how the world is and how everything is if I’m feeling this? This fucking tearing and ripping echoing this fucking travesty that everyone else, especially fellow mentally different people, piss me the fuck off? I’m simultaneously pissed the fuck off and wanting to escape all of this but I cannot escape […]
I’ve had two serious suicide attempts:
The first time I tried to kill myself (around age 14) was after my best friend had done the same a week prior and I couldn’t stand living without him. I chose to hang myself, but the beam I used to tie the rope on ended up snapping. I fell, hit my head and was knocked unconscious. My mother heard me fall and found me up in the attic and then called the EMS. I had a huge lump on my head, which ended up being a mild concussion and my throat was all sore and messed up afterwards. I […]
So I’ve been alone for a long time, practically all my life. And this recent suicidal phase I’ve gone thru hasn’t helped that at all. Scarred myself up good I did. Even slicing my arm open on a hacksaw by accident one day. I’ve grown a loving for the color black and everything about. In color theory, it’s either the presence of every color or the absence. I like to think every color is present.
But anyway, I’ve made plans and I’ve screwed it into my head that I’m probably going to end up dying alone in my old age. And I think I’m prepared for […]
In Man of Steel with Henry Cavill, Kevin Costner plays Superman’s father, and he goes back into a tornado to save the family dog trapped in the car after Clark and Mom get away. Costner knows he’s going to die and deliberately tells Clark not to save him. So Costner was depressed? Having chemicals mixed up in his brain? Oh, for some reason, his feelings at that moment were valid but when normal people who never raised Superman and aren’t trying to save their dog deliberately end their life it’s because their feelings are not valid? It’s like we are told to read the DSM […]
From a certain light I can imagine the numbness – the nothingness – as being peaceful. Relaxing almost. But in reality that’s not the case, you all know that’s not the case. Because when you’re in that state of mind, you are trapped between 4 walls that are closing in around you. At least that’s how it feels. Time passes and soon enough you’ll have to leave the (dis)comfort of your own bed, and go to work, school or university and pretend to be a civilised human being. Pretend that you aren’t entertaining those darker thoughts during every pause or break in your day. Pretend […]
He reconciled with me went for counselling with me while his restraining order was still on. He broke that and also moved in with me. He asked me to lie in the court so he could not have a record. I did that and the day judgment came out: all charges withdrawn, he left me.
So distraught over this. What am i suppose to do?
Firstly. I need love. I have loads of them, but I don’t feel that people wants it from me… I think I don’t fit their standards. And I’m afraid to approach them. Like you know.. being approached by someone you don’t want to is irritating, and I don’t want them to feel that way. I can’t expressed it. And it’s so hurting me. Seriously though. Guys, do you wait for girls to react?
I need your opinion.. I can’t stand this idleness no more. Please please reply…
I’m tired of life. Tired of obligations, tired of this world with its rules, its human society. I made a lot of mistakes in my life. And wasted a lot of chances to become successful or to fulfill my dreams. I regret a lot. Yea, if only I could revert time back, while keeping my current memory, lol.
Sure, reverting time would be great. But I don’t really care about all this now. The only things that keep me going these days are my hobbies. And my mom. She did really a lot for me. But I’m tired, I really am.
Almost every night I go to […]
Hey there, Basically I’m 18 dropped out of school. Ive been facing mental health problems since i was 15 and tried to take my own life. I was hospitalised this year for 9 weeks and then a day patient for 6 weeks after. Im no better and I’ve the doctors have decided to stop treating me as they don’t know whats wrong. anyhow due to this fact that i can’t be helped and my lack of future and many many other things I’ve decided that tonight I’m going to take my own life.
does anybody have any tips on like is there anyway i can make […]
Wondering starting to date again… I like one girl more then the others she is cute and sweet. She is originally from the country that I moved too 6 years ago. But also lived in the east and southern of Europe.
She is 8 years older then me. I don’t mind. I actually quite like it as I would like children and I think she would want them too. I wonder though if it is a wise step.. in the longer run for my happiness if that path were to happen….
we click really well so I do not really for see problems in that […]
The Earth is a beautiful place made to be walked by beautiful creatures. All around me I see ugliness, myself included. Laws should be introduced banning the ugly from showing their faces in public places. Separate areas should be made for ugly people and beautiful people, seperate schools, separate shops, separate bars. Ugly people should be banned from having children so that in future generations the ugly genes may be eliminated.
Hello fellow humanoids,
I am new here, this is my first post, feedback is appreciated.
Recently while delving into the depths of internet suicide material, I came accross a few mentions of how suicide is a very selfish way to die. This rather annoyed me as, on the contrary, I find it a very unselfish, noble way to die. Surely one has a right to be selfish with ones own life? Surely it is those who preach this that are being selfish? They ask us to remain trapped in these useless lives, suffering everyday, just so they dont have to deal with our deaths.
I […]
I am a girl in high school. I don’t have a lot of friends and recently I quarreled with my so-called best friend. I used to have lunch and go back home with her every day. Now that we have had a fight, we no longer talk. I need to ask someone else to go back home and have lunch with me every single day. I feel like I am bringing troubles to people. I feel like they are just too nice so they wouldn’t refuse me even though they really think that I am annoying. I don’t dare talking to my so-called friends about […]
I will start out with saying that I am only alive today out of spite. I have had family and friends who have tried to destroy me, and failed. I have fought to stay alive, and I have had nothing handed to me. I learned how to program, how to make more money in a month than many people see in a year, graduated high school, and survived multiple hospitalizations for various things, none of them being psychiatric. I have only lived this long because I had decided that everyone who had tried to hurt me had been my enemies, and that the greatest suffering […]
I have a sweet tooth.
Days can pass and I won’t be hungry, won’t eat, but the second someone offers me something sweet- or if I find it myself- the fast is broken; it can be an apple, a piece of candy, grapes, ice cream. Anything.
But why? Who cares?
The reason is old and sad (or pathetic, if that’s how you want to see it).
We’re not rich. We usually don’t have a lot of food.
When I was younger, we still didn’t have much to eat, but we rarely got anything sugary (or fruits, because parents just went and bought fast food for the starving masses).
Depression has literally ruined my life. My mom doesn’t accept me because of my behavior so I got moved away for my only biological family (my sister) and moved to my dads, which his girlfriend doesn’t accept me because of my behavior and the fact that my dad goes out of his way to help benefit me so that I don’t jump off his balcony. I was a straight A B C student till around 7th grade I lost all motivation but somehow made it to 9th grade and completely failed because I stayed in the bathroom due to the fact that I hated going […]