You know what I hate so much? When people know that a person is suicidal, self harming, or even really just feeling down, and some asshole thinks it’s alright to push it even deeper. When I was in 7th grade, I was suicidal. This girl was talking shit behind my back about how she was only pretending to be my friend. That- ugh! It’s horrible! Even now, I’m dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm, and anxiety. And I still get that kind of bullshit! My cousin, knows that it irritates me when he hits me. He hits me on my upper arm, which is […]
Category:
Rants
I’ve figured it out. Don’t you see the truth? this life is pain. there is pain, and then there is less pain. there is no pleasure, no happiness, no laughter. each moment is either a reprieve from pain or it is pain filled to the brim. don’t you see? if there is no life, there is no pain. every single new human is brought into this life being taught the opposite, that life is sacred, or its interesting, or that it brings more good things than bad things. its complete bullshit. the only reason that we have war, famine, starvation, cholera, shit infested water, rape, […]
Fuck, where do I even start? I’m 35 years old, my life actually isn’t that bad if you’re looking at it from the outside. Â I mean I’ve got a decent career, a beautiful wife whom I grew up best friends with as kids, I have a wonderful teenage daughter who has turned into such a great person, I’m educated, I have a house and nice vehicles and I’m by no means rich but I’m far from poor. Â So, why the fuck am I not happy?
Shit. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Here lately I seem to seek out the negativity in all situations. I […]
It’s hard to choose between the two. To endure life and the concept of simply existing or to die peacefully and end the endurance. Suicide is not what one chooses when someone is sad. Suicide is what one chooses when they are looking for a way out of pain, and none of their other resources are working. This is something I think about constantly. Existing (from my eyes) is dealing with irate customers at the host stand at my job. It’s flunking out of my freshman year of college because I didn’t go to class because I felt like my whole world was collapsing around […]
so here is a piece of my story that I’ve only told 2 people about….
As you can imagine I’m terribly nervous about doing this.
When I was 5 years old, my Great Uncle and Great Aunt came down to visit..
I never really liked my Uncle Jerry but this just gave me more of a reason to not like him. I remember that day like it was yesterday (when it happened 12 years ago) I was watching 101 Dalmatians the cartoon with him. We were sitting on the bed and I was wearing sweatpants and a green turtleneck. It was right around Christmas that year. I went […]
Ellen is spontaneous, outgoing, kind of overbearing at times- but that is what make her so fun to be around- she’s always thinking of things to do and places to go. I, on the other hand, am awkward, shy and rather painful to be around due to a inconvenient addiction to poking people. I have sort of formulated it in to a language.
Through out my life, social ineptitude has been quite detrimental and has never failed to ruin important social encounters, it’s surprising I ever managed to acquire a boyfriend; my friend Ellen managed to conjure several relationships and buckets of friends. She has this […]
I’m just tired.
I’m just sad.
I’m just angry.
Today at school, some Christian told me i wasn’t going to heaven. Just because i don’t believe in Jesus. I do believe in God, though. But she doesn’t seem to understand that. Then after that, a friend of mine told me she had gone to the guidance office with one of my other friends. Extremely concerned on what happened, i asked why. They told me, it was for me. Some “preps” were talking about me behind my back, during gym today. They were saying that me and my girlfriend weren’t really in love, that we were […]
Back during my Freshman year of high school (I’m now a junior) I was really close friends with this gay guy in my drama class named Josh. He moved away that same year and we had our struggles keeping in touch, but he started collage last year and completely shut me out and stopped talking to me… It really hurt me because I had feelings for him for a while (yes I knew he was gay). We helped each other through things, he knew what it was like to be suicidal and struggle with self harm so we hit it off right away and became […]
Sidenote: This will be cross posted on Reddit.
Like many of you, life has slowed from a run to a crawl. I’m 18 years old. For many reasons ranging from my intelligence(or lack thereof), my family and my looks, I’m warming to the possibility of killing myself sometime in the near future. The main reason I suppresses my suicidal tendencies is because of, you guessed it, my parents. They’ve worked inconceivably hard to allow us to live as comfortably as we do, or as they do. I’m not going to lie to you all, I’d be considered upper-middle class in the American Northeast, with tuition fully payed […]
It’s like I’m ready to leave, and go away, and the you come back and drag me once again. I’m getting tired, Fucking hurts but I fucking Love it.
Tonight is it hopefully I’m done. What life has for me isn’t what I want nor what I can bare. I’m just numb the feeling hurts. ive got my plan ready. I’ve decided I always n knew that it would come to this. I’m to stupid for life to ugly to fucked up for it I can’t stand being in my skin a minute longer I’m tired of weeping I’m retired of being depressed I can’t get help I’m tired of being tired. So goodbye. I hope everybody is better of thani the future
I’ve been struggling with my body for so long. Ever since I was a little girl, I was always the “fattest” kid around. I got made fun of a lot, but I moved on, as a little child would. Now it’s worse. I can’t stare at myself in a mirror for longer than 2 seconds. I have gotten bullied by others, for being ugly and fat. I have no friends. At school I am the last pick for everything, and everyone hates me. I try to be nice to everyone, but for every nice thing I say twenty bad things are said about me. I […]
Just what the fuck do you want?! Whatever I do, or do not do, I am damned in your sight, a blight, a failure, a mistake. How would you feel if I had come home in a box? You want everyone to think you’re so loving, compassionate, dutiful but the truth is, you’re a *****. You piss everyone around you off, you have no tact, no filter, and yet whenever I imply such you say, “you’re the only one that thinks that!” LIKE HELL I AM!
I don’t care any longer what anyone says to you. After nearly 1/4 century of living with your bullshit, I’m […]
I’m going to eat 11 nurofen all i have :(.then I will hopefully fall in unconsues .before that I will that my eipen .this messes up the heart and makes blood vessals smaller .with the nurofen whitch says not to take if u have heart problems.i migth as well take some strong alcohol with that .finally when asleep I will hold a bag over my head with my thumb so when I fall asleep so choke to death . So who thinks this will work.i need to be certin cause my mom will notice the stuff gone. if anyone could give me any advice or […]
Im sure my brain is “wired” incorrectly
Unable to sleep propperly since a child
Earliest memory is standing above a large drop (for my age/height at the time) wating to throw myself down it
So I have been wishing death since 4/5 years old
Im almost 30 now and it cant continue
In the past I have tried a mix of different drugs, as one does in younger years
I found almost all of them to produce strange effects ine that no one else got
Mdma made me feel like my body was stuck in slow motion. Anti depressants are based on this kind of chemical structure and in turn cause similar […]
It’s been 33 days since I decided I was going to take my own life.
On the first of April my beautiful princess died at age just 6months. This was the day I decided I was going to leave this evil world too.
This situation has been tragic due to the fact it was so sudden. There was nothing wrong with her, I put her to sleep, went to do some chores and came back to find her cold and blue, she was gone.
In the time I’ve had to spend without her, I have turned to the use of cocaine, I usually smoke weed but that hasn’t […]
I’m so fucking tired of waking up every night. It takes everything in me to just go to work (I work nights). The only thing I look forward to is sleeping all weekend. Got some bars so it shouldn’t be a problem as long as people will leave me alone. Happy go lucky people make me fucking nauseous. My mind just doesn’t work that way. I see the negativity in everything. People always say to focus on the things that make you happy. I can’t make anyone understand that there is nothing that makes me happy except the fact that I have a bottle of […]
stop.
why can’t I stop playing this in-between. I’m not getting any better, I CAN’T get any better until certain things happen that just aren’t happening, that are out of my reach. And I can’t end it either. Why the fuck can’t I just do one or the other?
NO it’s not a matter of positive thinking. NO it’s not like I don’t know what I need. I know what I need and I can’t fucking GET it. That’s the problem. Why don’t I just MAKE the attempt so that they HAVE to listen?
No, I’m not making it up. No, doing fucking yoga isn’t going to help. […]
Hello my name is Annabelle.
I want to die so bad.
SO bad.
I’ve given up.
Honestly, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone dies and thought “why wait?”
I got told by the only person who loves me and who I love that they don’t trust me.
So why wait?
I told everyone I even remotely care about goodbye and told them what I want them to have.
So basically
I’ve given up all hope.
I’m broken and at this point nothing can fix me.
I called the suicide hotline.
Me and the person talked.
It didn’t work.
I still feel as shitty as before, even more so maybe.
I betrayed the one I love and I can never […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]