Of course, I want to like Trevor. But there’s always something in the back of my mind that says I shouldn’t. Oh well. Said voice can find a new hobby. I mean, I’ve realized that Trevor is pretty awesome. But if he doesn’t like me, then good for him. I’m not saying that I’ll be completely mad and thinking that I’m better than him, ’cause I’m not. All humans are equal, except in their acts. I mean, you can’t say that you’re equal to Hitler in acts unless you did the same things he did. But Trevor hasn’t done anything bad that I know of, […]
Category:
Stories of Hope
I know I already did, but this time, I’ll do it in songs! How fun! Hahaha. Anyways, we’ll start from when my grandpa died, and my dad almost died: Hello by Evanescence. I can’t explain how it relates, but that’s what I always listen to. Next up, when my dog died. My Last Breath by Evanescence. Again, the events of her death really go along with the song. After she died, I found a song that I would sing when I missed her. It’s: Goodbye My Friend by Linda Ronstadt. Then, my grandma went insane and hates me. For this, I kinda think of Imaginary […]
“What one person sees as degrading and disgusting and bad for women might make some women feel empowered and beautiful and strong.â€
-Sasha Grey
AT THE TIME I FELT:
1. I’m an incompetent and pathetic loser who has ruined his life and will never change because of his own laziness
2. I don’t give a fuck about other people or what they may think or feel , not even those who love and care for me. All I care about is satisfying my own sense of personal justice.
3. All I can think about is how much I hate myself and my existence. The ultimate self-punishment is suicide. These thoughts are driving me nuts and will continue unless I decisively end it NOW.
MY TIMELYÂ EPIPHANIES:
1. I CHOOSE to judge myself the way i […]
Sooo, I have a new crush. His name is Austin. God, he is so cute. He has blonde hair, a six pack, braces (I like braces, for some reason), and I think he has blue eyes. I went to my friend’s house yesterday, and it was her brother’s birthday. He had some friends over, and Austin was one of them. We played football, did random stupid stuff, and I had a lot of fun with him. I swear he was flirting. He insulted my favorite video game, started to tease me slightly, and then ran away. I chased him around, too. I can run a […]
I’m going to take a break. So I won’t be on this site for a while. I won’t post anything or comment. I don’t know for how long. Maybe 2 days, maybe 2 weeks, maybe 2 months. I just don’t know. I am coming back, I guess, don’t know what’s going to happen in the next days… Love you all guys!! <3 Just need a break, although I find a lot of strength and understoodment at this site.
Please, everybody on this site, keep fighting, stay strong and believe in yourself!! Love you <3!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k4Swt8PrARNg0y3eLCF(watch at 7:52)
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k5uCWuDBDzrhu63eLCM
I was watching  show of how a singer overcame her depression, I found it inspiring because she talked of how she tried new things like, reading and drawing and was able to express herself. If you would like to watch it check the links above
I wish I would have found a site like this 6 years ago.  My life once so full of promise, senior in high school, on the dean’s list with a life of grander ahead.  Started down a bad path.  I think I’ve always been bipolar.  The highs are never better, and the lows can’t get any lower.  Started experimenting with drugs.  Found my drug of choice in pain meds.  I was good at hiding the pain on the inside with a happy face on the outside as long as I was numb enough to not care any longer.  The addiction got worse. Drinking and driving after […]
All my hope is gone… The little bit hope I had is gone. I really don’t think my life is ever going to be better. I’m fighting for more than 12 years now to get a better life where I can be real happy with, not fake happy. But in those 12 years, my life only got worse and worse… People say that when life is really terrible, it only could go better. Well, NO, it only can get worser!! (At least in my life) I wish I wasn’t on this earth anymore. I just want to die…. But I’m under controle right now. I […]
So, I found out that one of my friends that I had made a gift bag for didn’t like me, so I decided to mark out her name and put Trevor’s. Well, I didn’t get to give it to him. I went to get my trumpet, and he was in there with two of his friends, Jack and Jacob. They were pointing at my friends, calling them names. I said “If anybody points at me, it ain’t gonna be pretty!’ And of course, all three of them pointed at me. Trevor was closest to me, so I stepped up to him (OH MY GOD HE […]
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I had a dream about Trevor. It was wonderful. It seemed real. I could smell his cologne, hear his voice. Anyway, it was beautiful. I’m leaving my trumpet in the band room again so I can see him again. Maybe I can eventually get his number… 😀 God, I hope so. I used to be too scared to talk to him, but not anymore. I love talking to him. He’s awesome. Seriously. Anyways, I just hope that I can at least become good friends with him. That would be great. Then maybe I can start to build […]
Hi guys!
So I’m sure a lot of you on here probably won’t read this (or even bother to) but that’s okay because I just want to share my story with everyone, and hopefully save a few lives 🙂
Growing up, I’ve always had a good life, or at least that’s what I believed. I’ve never had to worry about money or my health, although I am overweight, I don’t feel it’s life threatening or something to be extremely concerned with. Of course when middle school started, everything changed.
Middle school was a rough time for everyone. We’re all at the phase where we’re trying to fit in […]
Ok everyone so I know this is really random and I understand this is a site that people try and come together, help eachother, and just to share their stories. I am just looking for answers and I do not even know who will all get to see this or if it will be published… I was wondering if anyone was talking to a guy about would have been 19 around march-june months 2012 possibly before I am not too sure.. he was my brother and he took his life in June. Like I said I know there are like TONS of people but he […]
This empty love is us alone.
I just can’t hold my feelings, I can not tell you that i don’t love you if you’re not here.
I can’t just pretend that it’s okay, I can’t force myself to feel something I just pretend.
I never wanted you to go away. I really wish you could stay.
I still love you, and you don’t care.
I still don’t get that you didn’t mean it.
I still don’t want to accept that I was dreaming.
I don’t want to realise that all was just a lie.
Look at my body.
Look at my scars.
You see them?
Do you think there are too many?
Well, I can tell you,
it’s about less than 1% of the scars that are inside.
You don’t believe?
Ofcourse not, because you won’t.
You won’t believe that I have a terrible life.
But look at my body.
Look at my scars.
You see them?
Do you think there are too many?
Well, I can tell you,
they are uncountable.
Try to count them.
You can’t?
Ofcourse not,
because there are too many of them.
How much you ask?
I don’t know, maybe 300,
maybe 400, 500, 600 or […]
I was never a religious person nor am I now but I often think that I am stuck in hell. “Hell on earth” , hell of depression , loss , memories , feeling like I am speaking in a foreign language because people may hear me but they DON’T understand me so I resort to silence then there is the heartbreak , the feeling like your heart is literally being broken into two and the thoughts come and they are anything but organised.. I am left angry and exhausted. I think , this is what he must of felt like and I had no idea. […]
I wonder if the Wellbutrin has finally started to work…
I was fake-happy this morning, and I didn’t think (seriously) about killing myself even once, all day. Â And tonight I was sad but not suicidal-sad. Â Now I’m…okay.
Yet nothing has changed, so. Â Hmm.
Part of me doesn’t want to get better if it means I can’t kill myself. Â That’s kinda fucked up.
EMDR. It’s pretty intriguing and seems to hold a lot of promise. I’ve completed two sessions and while I am still pretty despondent… I feel lighter. I think I released some trauma from my childhood…I’m not sure but it feels that way. There might be hope to be “normal” unhappy instead of the constant suicidal ideations and “what-if” scenarios that play in my head on loop ad infinitum.
Am a 23yr old female from zambia am looking for a friend that I can talk to. I’ve being depressed my whole life. Am forever thinking of killing myself, but am too much of a coward to do it. I have therefore decided to pretend that am fine, put on a smile and live out my miserable life. After some time, I guess people start getting irritated with the whole suicide and depressed talk. And I would rather pretend am happy than have people forever trying to fix me. If anyone has decided to live the depression, email me at obfuscate89@gmail.com
I’ve never been able to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel. I’ve never been able to smile through a sunny day. Why? Well, let me explain this horror story known as my life.
It all started when I was fourteen months old. I was crying one night and my mom’s boyfriend shook me until I stopped crying. So now, I have “Shaken Baby Syndrome.” When I turned three, my stepfather began to touch me. He molested me three times before he left my mom and my sister and I. Then I was four, my mother began to abuse me. She would burn […]