Category:

Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

It’s been a while…

by johnwhogivesashit 8/4/2015

written by johnwhogivesashit

Its been a while since I thought about suicide. I had a panic the other day tho. I went and got some help in july. Went to this psychiatrist and got some ativan for anxiety and he gave me welbutrin for depression. I told him I didn’t feel depressed anymore. Just normal sadness ocassionionly. Lots of anxiety but not the suicidal solution that used to be right there just last year. Idk. I don’t think I’m depressed. The welbutrin doesn’t do shit as far as I can tell and this is like 2 and a half weeks in. I think I have add. I can’t […]

8/4/2015 2 comments

I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to..

by Yours, Forever and Always 8/1/2015

written by Yours, Forever and Always

I’ve attempted suicide over ten times.

I’ve never been raped or lost someone close to me to death. I’ve never been homeless or starving. I’ve never run away or snuck out.

Instead, I’ve smoked and drank. I cut and I burn. I think about my death often.

I remember when my parents found out how suicidal I was. My mom laughed and then continued smoking and my step father joked about keeping me away from his tools. They never put me in a hospital, and only took me to therapy once.

They put me on a bunch of meds, […]

8/1/2015 11 comments

Protected: How will I know when I’m not here anymore?

by Tristeza 7/29/2015

written by Tristeza

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

7/29/2015 13 comments

I’m giving up, I’m giving in.

by LostAndBroken 7/26/2015

written by LostAndBroken

I know it’s recommeneded to not give out your name, but honestly right now I need a friend. I need someone. Anyone. I feel hopeless, broken beyond repair. My name Is James.

I’ve tried to die multiple times now. Times where I just snapped and gave in, others where I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t take the abuse and the bullying. It’s left me completely broken. I thought it wouldn’t get worse.. But it got much much worse..

Lately my whole life has been destroyed. I let myself love again..and It only ended in pain. I let someone get too close..told them things about me […]

7/26/2015 9 comments

I wish i was good enough

by disgusting 7/25/2015

written by disgusting

I wish being good to him was enough. I wish giving everything I have to give was enough. I wish loving and adoring him were enough. I wish it wasnt all about looks and money. I wish I could be the one to worship him. I wish I counted. I wish he believed my love was real instead of desperation as he thinks it is. I wish he weren’t superficial at all. I wish I didn’t have to be without him. He thinks it’s unhealthy to love just one person… and I don’t think it’s anything close to love to want a dozen or more […]

7/25/2015 3 comments

Empaths. a Blessing or a Curse. a Gift or a Burden.

by Nova 7/21/2015

written by Nova

I consider myself to be an Empath. You might be one too. It’s been extremely difficult to live and function in a society where people don’t really have empathy so it’s hard for them to really feel what somebody else is going through. And that’s why so many people are ruthless and cutthroat, you know. Being and Empath is like having a finely tuned ‘Bullshit’ Lie-Detector. It’s really strange to have the ability to really feel what other people are feeling because I don’t know how to handle and cope with it. Now, staying away from strangers is easy enough; I just don’t go outside […]

7/21/2015 1 comment

my best friend/ex-girlfriend’s death

by Dorothy Gale 7/20/2015

written by Dorothy Gale

She had come home from Chicago the night before. She, our roommate and I were drinking and watching Archer. I passed out. I came to with a raw cough in my throat like nothing I’d ever experienced. Turns out I threw up in my sleep and Roommate had to roll me over. He pointed to the soiled pillowcase in the laundry basket.

I heard my girlfriend whimpering low. I was the one in her life who knew her for the shortest amount of time, and yet I was the only one who could discern the barely-perceptible difference between her regular whimpers and the ones that indicated […]

7/20/2015 1 comment

Underwhelmed

by coconut 7/19/2015

written by coconut

I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to live. If something naturally happened to end my life I would be relieved. I feel like my entire life has been one disappointment after the other. I feel like people shouldn’t have kids if they can’t look after them. I feel like my parents shouldn’t have had me, it was irresponsible. I feel like as a general rule, people are selfish, and through that I have been abused and irreparably damaged. I used to be so excited about things and life and was such a happy kid, but I’ve been through too much now. There is millions […]

7/19/2015 3 comments

Decisions

by Lah72833 7/18/2015

written by Lah72833

I think today I have decided to just end it. I’m not going through court. I think my baby would be better off without me. I hope and pray that his daddy will take good care of him. I’m so worried about that. He’s not very patient and cares more about himself…but I can’t handle fighting anymore. My baby is my world and I can’t stand sitting back watching this happen. Please god take care of my baby. Please. In less than 2 weeks I’m planning on being out of this world. I have failed. I’m too weak. Mommy loves you so much baby boy.

7/18/2015 5 comments

I am done…

by CarsonS 7/17/2015

written by CarsonS

I have had the worst life so far I am 12 years old my name is Carson I am a smart kid but my parents treat my like complete s**t and I am ready to die I can take any of this anymore my goal was to be a youtuber because that got me of of these thoughts it no longer works my parents got into a divorce and still treat me worse and my brother abuses me 24/7 I also did not mention I am bullied all the time. I have no Clue what should I do guys?

7/17/2015 8 comments

She led me to this…

by captainzomb1e 7/17/2015

written by captainzomb1e

I won’t bore you with a backstory. But it’s not good – abuse, death etc. etc. Back in November I fell in love with this girl. I’d been in long and serious relationships before but this was a very different feeling. After things went, for want of a better word, tits up I gave up on the idea. When I found out it wouldn’t work I got severely depressed. It also sparked OCD, insomnia and anxiety. I felt a little better one day and developed a relationship with someone else however my feelings for her faded and the feelings for the first girl came back […]

7/17/2015 0 comment

So many beautiful souls here

by Dorothy Gale 7/15/2015

written by Dorothy Gale

and it’s so painful to see you in such despair.

That this must be our cross to bear, what brings us together as perfect strangers. The black dog on our shoulder. Wish it could be anything else for all of us.

I spent all night last night reading through posts and comments. When I came in I was crying for myself, hoping not to feel the end of my rope once more. I went to bed crying for others, hoping they can somehow find their way back up their rope, and if not, that they can find in death the peace they so crave and deserve. I […]

7/15/2015 2 comments

Letting It All Go

by kills 7/14/2015

written by kills

I figured since this is where we met that it’s only fitting that I write you something beautiful here. Everything comes full circle and I pray that as I let you go – you will come back to me at the right time. I do love you but you are in love with someone else. You say you still love me but your heart is in his hands right now. I hold onto you in an unhealthy way right now. I hold onto parts of my past for comfort and security instead of setting my sights on the limitless possibilities ahead of me. My […]

7/14/2015 25 comments

All alone

by disgusting 7/13/2015

written by disgusting

The guy I love has his life and a ton of friends. I can see how we’re not as close already. I have no one and he doesn’t understand. He honestly thinks he’s been rejected more than I have but I call bullshit because I’m rejected from every damn thing for my looks even for a place to stay! I’ve been told I don’t look human and shouldn’t be allowed outside. I literally am homeless because I’m too ugly for anyone to accept my money as payment for rent. I’m laying on the floor at work for fuck’s sake and it’s the first time I’ve […]

7/13/2015 9 comments

Despair

by Polar Bear 7/13/2015

written by Polar Bear

Im so scared I dont know what to do……I’ve been in chronic pain now for 10yrs after a car accident made me have to have spine surgery. My life was great until that point……I was in college getting ready to graduate next quarter and I was working for a doctors office doing the work that I was in college for.

After the surgey I was unable to continue with class/work since it was excruciating to sit or stand for long periods of time and I would get horrible spasms and nerve damage caused a lightning type pain to run from my buttox down to my foot.

Well […]

7/13/2015 9 comments

The “perks” of being Malcolm

by ThePerksOfBeingMe 7/13/2015

written by ThePerksOfBeingMe

So here I am, an eighteen year old boy on a website designed for sad teenage girls and I’m expected to talk about the “perks” of being me? Okay fine if it will keep her happy and I’ll be able to come out more often then FINE I’ll write! Hm some perks? Well, I had a milkshake last night so that’s cool or whatever. Man I don’t think I can sit here and pretend there are perks to being myself. I can’t even be myself! I’m 18 and a boy and I’m trapped in a woman’s body, let me tell you going to the bathroom […]

7/13/2015 4 comments

Always

by KissOfDeath 7/13/2015

written by KissOfDeath

I’ve always wanted to submerge myself into something that would help numb these feelings,
I’ve always wanted to experience that complete lostness you see in someone deep into their work,
I’ve always envied that.
I’ve tried to lose myself in alcohol,
but these feelings make is seem as if I’m drinking poison.
I’ve tried to lose myself in drugs,
but these feelings make the strongest “uppers” into downers.
I knew these weren’t positive things to lose myself in,
but I didn’t care,
I was so desperate.
I’ve always wanted to be a great writer,
I wanted to paint beautiful scenes with my words,
but creativity […]

7/13/2015 2 comments

Going Down, Society (in our current state, anyway)

by not_much_different 7/12/2015

written by not_much_different

Talk to someone about something relevant, and most people will respond like they are not interested.

People that prioritize their fantasies at the expense of the reality of things are, sadly, the byproduct of a lack of education, cultural indoctrination, or more drastically, some genetic outcomes, being a victim of violence, extreme poverty, sickness, addictions, to name a few…

Now try to fix or to solve a universal, a global, a regional or a local problem, because that idea you got is closer to an optimal state, clearly realistic, and/or overall less or not problematic at all. You will be stopped, discouraged, even […]

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7/12/2015 0 comment

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More Perks of Being Elizabeth!

by ThePerksOfBeingMe 7/12/2015

written by ThePerksOfBeingMe

Well, its come to my attention that there is a ton of misconception about DID especially on the internet!

If any of you have any interest in speaking to someone suffering from the disorder I encorage you to feel free to comment here, follow me on Tumblr (http://alltheperksofbeingus.tumblr.com/) or i have a KIK (theperksofbeingus) which of course is more personal! I really look forward to hearing from anyone, if I can educate just one person I feel as if I’ll be making a difference!

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7/12/2015 3 comments

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The Perks Of Being Elizabeth.

by ThePerksOfBeingMe 7/12/2015

written by ThePerksOfBeingMe

Hey Suicide Project!

I’m new to the site and I’m kind of hoping that keeping a blog will be a good outlet for me. I’m Elizabeth and I suffer from a mental disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder or (DID). What does this mean? Well formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder or (MPD); DID is a mental disorder on the dissociative spectrum characterized by at least two distinct and relatively enduring identities or dissociated personality states that alternately control a person’s behavior. But, what does this mean for me? This means that I “host” several other alternate personalities. I refer to myself as the host because […]

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7/12/2015 7 comments

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