I don’t feel well now.
So everything is going great. I’m doing very well at work. I live on my own, play videogames, jog once a week. I’m 37 and always been single, so you know the other thing some people like me don’t really talk about… i mean their dirty videos they watch. Everyone has there own tastes. I understand that. I can no longer find the videos that were available for purchase in 2019 and 2018! I have the 4k teasing video of ‘my crush.’ if you know what I mean. But hear me out. I didnt purchase the uhhh, ‘hardcore’ videos when […]
Today is my birthday and all I can think is “I would rather die than have another birthday.” I don’t want to get older when I feel like I’m not even living. The past 8 years it’s been one thing after another, I thought it would get easier but it really hasn’t. I’m not even finished my fucking bachelor’s degree, my health keeps getting in the way. I’ve been having a trauma response for the past 2-3 months, so I’m failing all of my courses which doesn’t get me anywhere closer to graduating. I get there’s more in life than school and work… But I […]
I have no rea reason to be posting. I’m not in any sort of trouble or pain or anything like that. Not out of the usual that is. I just don’t have any motivation. I feel nothing. I want nothing. That’s not true. I do want happiness, I just am not sure what that means. I’ve gone through the paces over a thousand times in my head and I never feel like I go anywhere. I always feel like I’m going in circles. What do I want? Why do I want what I want? […]
ever notice how every other disease has decreased over the centuries whether due to cures, technology, prevention or education? name any disease, polio, smallpox, bubonic plague, cholera, consumption, and eventually the numbers go down. But not suicide. despite all the billions of $$ that have been sunk into suicide prevention, awareness, pharmaceuticals, antidepressants, therapy, the numbers keep going up.
isnt it clear by now? nothing helps. maybe its because there’s nothing “wrong” with suicidal people. And you can’t fix a healthy person.
Oh but they’ll keep trying. as long as $$ keeps pouring in they’ll keep putting on a good show of trying. and covering their asses. […]
A hateful thing this life is.
I slam my head into the wall every time I see a pram, WTF! I want to scream at the couple.
Me: “Are you blind!” “Look around you! You like this shit!”
“Bills, tax, working for a pittance, people trying to take advantage of you at every turn, even your wife might leave you when you got no cash, your husband dessert you when the boobs drop, social obligations, misery misery in this grey cold shithole big city that smells like a 1887 bottle of vomit, Technology used against you, Zucked before you are born…” […]
My entire life has been pain, suffering, betrayel and abuse.
I been abandoned, beaten and broken.
I had regained hope for a little while, that it had all been for something. You where my bestfriend half my life. I belived you when you said you wanted to build a life with me. To have a family toghter.
Now im broken and alone again.
With the deepest cut i have ever had and i dont know how to make the pain stop.
All i wanted was to be loved, to be held. And by you? The tought made me strong.
But nothing you […]
As the title says: Who am I? Really: Who the hell am I? what defines me when I want to describe, in short, my identity? Do even I HAVE an identity? I have a name, two names… Are those words me? Nowadays ARE myself yet? Are those two words identifying who is this body? I don’t think so…
I hate parts of my body, I want a change but I do nothing to make it… I hate some clothes I use. I’m male and I want to use some female clothing I consider cute and good looking but… I don’t. What happen? Social pressure? […]
Suicide pods being developed in Switzerland, providing users with a painless death
Most promising news I’ve read in years, maybe decades. These 3-D printed “suicide pods” allow users to die painlessly in a setting of their choice, without the need of a doctor to supply lethal drugs like ********. The pod can then be used as a coffin afterwards.
I wish I knew how much of my sexuality was my own, and not merely learned from being how I survived much of my childhood.
Even now I still struggle with feeling like I deserved to be in that position, and that I deserve to be again.
I hope my transition helps make it clearer somehow.
As the title says, this is about things having to do with self-harm, so obviously a warning for that. I am not sure if this post will end up as sad and depressing going on as the other one did- But I guess I will have to find out.
I first started self-harm when I was 11. I was mostly influenced by a friend at summer camp saying that it helped her calm down. I remember so vividly the day I got home after accidentally saying something that hurt my friend. (I often do not understand what I’m saying is mean, it’s really weird […]
i started writing poetry a few months ago. i posted them on tiktok and i’m almost at 3000 followers. i wanna keep writing but i feel like i just can’t find the right words to say what i want to say anymore. i really thought i found something that might take the edge off for a bit instead of alcohol and drugs but i guess not. stick to what you know i guess
I met her on SS (no link). She was beautiful, adorable and kind. I have never really dealt with grief earlier. When my mother died when I was 10, I didnt really feel grief tbh, just some sadness but overall ok.
I have however dealt with horrible grief since Lillie’s suicide on March 6th 2021. Like really, just the thought of it and I burst into tears. I really, really, fucking miss her…
How can grief be so strong? How is it that everytime I see her portrait on my desk I start crying like a baby? I wasnt very emotional before but now everything that makes […]
We grow up around a world that constantly beats the curiosity out of us. It constantly says to do this and do that. Follow the rules. Don’t question authority. Just be normal and you’ll be successful. You’ll be happy.
Right…
What it really means is fall in line. Failure to live up to the standards? Punishment. You’re an example to keep everyone in line. Do you dare question the rules that privilege some and oppress everyone else? You are the problem. You are selfish. You are a snowflake. You are victim-blamed.
We’re victim-blamed to belittle us. They hoard the power of unequal relationships so that we cannot fight […]
Some stuff to know first
I am a teen 13-17
I’m trans-masc, went through puberty at 9 and realized at 12 so I’m stuck in a stupid female body
Parents that don’t actually parent
I think that’s sit
(Writing this a while after- this gets progressively more and more depressing as it goes on. So, I apologize for that- also mentions topics of cancer and transphobia, body dysphoria. All of that jazz.
So just last weekend (Today is Tuesday the 7th of December) my mother, who I thought was all supporting of me called me down by the name I go by. Joey. […]
everyone around me is applying to universities and figuring out their moves for after we finish school. i’m stuck. not wanting to go forwards and not knowing how to even go forwards. it’s like everyone around me has their whole life figured out and has some kind of idea of what plans they have for themselves and i’m sinking in the quicksand no one else sees. and i know i don’t need to have my life figured out, i guess i’m just avoiding it because thinking about living hurts
I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single […]
my theory is if you’re here and younger than 25 there’s hope. If you’re past 25 then you’re probably fucked.
the science behind my theory: studies show that the human brain keeps growing until around age 25. New synapses are being made, new pathways and thought patterns. I think this means it can learn to adapt, repair damage and essentially reprogram itself.
after 25 it’s like that’s all you get. no more upgrades. no new ram or hard drive space. your cpu is maxed out, and the program is set. so if it’s not working right by then, if your brain is set to self destruct, then […]
I’ll always choose degrading, humiliation and abuse over what’s right and I’ll always drown out my pain the way i please.
So I am beginning to understand and accept what is.
That being that there are some people I shouldn’t expect certain things from.
idk maybe it’s hard for one sad person to listen to another sad persons problems
Lived with depression my whole life.
I want to die every day.
I hate this planet.
I hate myself