12+ years!!By that time Ima have a family & everything!!My closest friend Is getting locked up for 12+years!!I’m not really sure how long cause he hasen’t gone to court or anything but the thing he did Is already 12+years & he hasen’t even been convicted yet!!I used to kick It with him everyday!!About a month ago I finally told a friend that I got molested when I was younger,that friend was him!!He wanted to whoop my cousin but I told him na you don’t got to lift a finger,It happened.All’s you can do Is move on.Not even a week before he got locked up I […]
I need to heal, and travel to the icy end of the continent.
Humble, the express; no longer want to wait.
Come on, with the golden nimbus machine, summon the story of death.
Free my dying soul, forever to celestial. I am that I am, see with your eye.
A beast of hell. Who I am, an exiled human child. Faith is a haunted ghost.
Uttermost, gutter-most, oblivious. A beast of hell, a worldly.
Seven billion and nobody. Everyone, gone. All that is so much wrong.
Escape the world. Forever lost. Until the next saga.
Oracle of faith. Save me today.
I was born into a family that had an over-bearing, over abusive dickwad for a “father”. He would beat the crap out of my for not having all A+’s simply because those were his grades in school. Seriously. My mother would just stand there and let me beat me, scream at me, tell me how im worthless and nobody will ever love me. Yeah, she would just stand there. She said she never did anything is because she “cant afford to support us without his paycheck”. Yeah. And he never hit my sisters, maybe once or twice their whole life.
School wasn’t any better. I was […]
Since it’s not an option right now..i torture myself until I can’t torture myself anymore …anyone else?
This isn’t going to last very long.
And when it’s over I’m leaving. For good.
Hi, I’ve been in pain my whole life. I’ve been treated for depression since I was 11 (I’m in my early 40’s). I’ve tried every antidepressant and combinations (don’t tell me I haven’t, I’ve been a nurse for over 20 years, I understand the pharmaceutical interventions available) as well as behavioral and cognitive therapy, nothing works. In October of 2012 I injured my back severely because my wife asked me to lift her. I was on opanna, dilaudid, Percocet, etc. Nothing helped. I saw multiple surgeons, physical therapy, epidural blocks, and a chiropractor but nothing helped. The opiates affected my sexual performance.
My wife of 15 […]
Hi there I am 19 years of age I have suffered from depression since I was younger then 10 but I always could turn to my dad always knew what to do but he died when I was 11 and I just went worse ever since I have tried to kill my self countless times and so has others I’m hated by everyone including my family I should of died I have over dosed at 13 ended up in hospital kidney trouble I have cut my self tried to slit my neck few months after got caught knife got taken I tried hanging myself some […]
Everyday that I am alive, is just another day that i want to die. I see people living life and taking happiness for granted.
This is not the life i wanted to live, I wanted to be happy. I sound like i am a 12 year old girl with one problem, but in reality i am 16 yrs old and i have more than one problem. It feels like i have a million problems , no one is here to help I get taken for granted , one day when i am gone they are gonna mourn and grieve and lie about the things they […]
Like most people I’ve lived my life hoping the end would come quick and painless. When I decided to end my life I researched all the quick and painless ways, settling on a combination of methods that would supposedly do the trick in a dozen heartbeats or less, all the while being drunk and drugged out of my wits so I wouldn’t feel a thing.
How wrong. I realize now, injured and alone (don’t worry, this is not The One) that I like this feeling. Lying here feeling damaged beyond repair with no one pestering me to bandage myself up of go to the hospital or […]
This feeling of numbness takes over,
Emotions no longer exist,
No happy, no sad, no scared and no mad,
And the numbness I cannot resist.
It follows me around like a shadow,
It’s dark and gloomy and dull,
Like a storm cloud hovering over my head,
And the huge world around me makes me feel small.
Living is a struggle that cannot be compared,
And everyday things are complex,
But I manage to get around and do things I love,
Though to do them are difficult projects.
Day by day and night by night,
The numbness never leaves,
Depression is hard and it weighs me […]
Although I would never walk that same path, knowing the pain that will rein onto my loved ones. Being a heroin junkie drowned out my depression caged my thoughts with painful withdrawals and lifted me back up to clouds when I finally got that hit. No self-loathing no depression but at the very least a selfish reason for living.
Oracle, where are you. The apex, so- so long ago.
I have done my time. Now, faith is in the hand.
Do not defect me any longer. You, touch of life.
Grand goddess. Twist the codex, today. One, for transcendence.
A war of heaven versus hell, lost, our beginning.
It makes no sense. Fish, a world without a true leader.
Oh, other woman, take us to the land.
Carrying the boulder, of the world. Heal, to become strong.
But here, but now, forever lost.
Born to protect the world, now the devil’s.
We’ve exiled your alien, do not come back to our planet.
The star […]
Does anybody else think of jumping in front of a train every time you hear the sound of it or see it?
Think of jumping in front of every moving car? Crashing your car? Lying down in the freeway?
Think of jumping off every high height you see?
Think of stabbing yourself?
Think of hanging yourself?
Triggered into suicidal thoughts through anything you could possibly hurt yourself with?
Want to get a gun and shoot yourself and be gone forever?
How about every time an ambulance goes by, you think, why that person and not me? I want to die. Give me some way out, please.
Think of drowning and suffocating and water […]
I hate feelings. Why do I have to feel? Sometime I feel everything at once to the point where I end up having a mental breakdown or crying or hurting, but other days I feel nothing. I feel nothing and I don’t know how I feel and I want to get mad but I end up feeling nothing. So I don’t know what my problem really is now. I don’t know what’s worse either. Drowning in my own mind or dying from the thirst.
This is beginning to be too much. The world has been so dark and hopeless for the past year. I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I keep telling myself, “You’re fine. Get the fuck out of bed, and live your life.” only to discover that I have no motivation. I tell myself I do, but I don’t. After the stress, the tears, the panic attacks, the breakdowns. I can’t bring myself to admit that I need help. I don’t need help. I just don’t. I can’t bring myself to even talk to people anymore. Everyone thinks I’m mad at them, but ever since […]
I dream of a world where people can just try to understand each other, rather than judge them for their problems. A world where no one is criticized for who they are and what they love. Unfortunately, a world of peace doesn’t exist.
I dream that I am on my own planet, where there is no misery, violence, hatred or discrimination, with only my closest friends, family members, animals and people who get me. Like I said… I dream. If only dreams could come true for those of us […]
I looked into a moisture covered mirror, saw a empty reflection of me. I was bothered, I was aware, I was committed. I was not going to wake up from this one. Fabric in hand, slip knot created, over my head and around my neck. Firmly in place, other end put over the door edge, I was in the right place, I was going to watch myself in the mirror slowly hang myself to the end. Red to purple face, veins projecting strongly, eyes growing larger and redder, oxygen depleting, knees weakening. F this, something is keeping me from completing. Another attempt, another failure…Still I […]
Once upon a memory, a nightmare, yet a memory that still haunts me, I traced a horizontal line across my wrist. One, two, three, four times with a sharp object, breaking skin, stinging, causing a mild bleed. Fifth time, force applied, the sharp object went to and through my wrist and out the other side. I screeched in pain, I bit my lip, I sunk my teeth in, my eyes watered. I sat and stared at the damage I had done. That was the first time, more attempts followed…Still I endure…
…thinks the next world will be better than this one?