goodbye cruel world… i never had a chance

i’ve decided that this is the song i want to sleep forever to 🙂

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in […]

cant believe i only have four more days before saying my final goodbyes! i’ve already set my away letter for my mom, tonight, i’m going to do one for my dad.

thanks to the people here for everything. honestly, just thanks for being a site i can release my thoughts to.

to everyone else here, i hope you find what you’re looking for, or at least you know what you want to do.

goodbye and goodluck. to all of us 🙂

I give up. I can’t fight my ex anymore. I really like my job, and the people I work with aren’t jerks or anything. But I just can’t anymore. I think I’m going to give my two weeks notice and then use the two weeks to finalize my plans. Its time to leave

In spite of the upward trend in my life over the last couple of months, tonight I am just feeling so alone and deeply sad….both indications of a depressive episode.  All indications are that my life will continue to trend upward.  But Sam Harris’ rendition of the Bonnie Raitt classic I Can’t Make You Love Me is just speaking for me.  I love the phrasing, his obvious pain and the fact that he didn’t over sing it….none of those ridiculous runs that prevent you from hearing the raw ache of the melody.  I was able to sing like this until heart failure and other complications robbed me of my […]

I feel like I’m losing you but you’re not even mine.

You’re going far away from me and I can’t reach you. Not even a little.

You’re the sun. And I’m the moon. 
When you’re up I’m down.

And it feels like dying. It feels like hell. 
I guess, I need to let you go away.

I really love being ignored and forgotten… Said no one ever.

I hate having a friend that has a life.  It makes me feel so out of place.  Honestly, It’s like I need that person but they don’t need me.  It’s the truth, and it sucks.  Really, they are just there out of pity.  Pity, pity, pity. Fuck you, pity.

Yeah whatever.

I hate I hate I hate,

It never ends,

Am engulfed,

en-flamed,

en-raged,

end; it never,

i feel, i hurt,

i hurt, i feel,

loop by loop,

around we go, everlasting,

full circle we come,

perpetuating.

I have this wild urge to drop everything to move away and be a stripper in a big city.
Is that considered reckless behavior? or reckless thinking in this case?
I’m almost drawing up a game plan here to leave this winter.

I’ll end up destroying myself.. I can feel it

I wish all of us on here could just get together in one place and hug and cry and eat a lot of food. Especially since so many of us are so lonely and no one else understands what we’re going through.

hello . this my first comment on this site. where to begin . well things are not good atm. I’ve no prospects. bad luck with money . no chance in hell getting into college so there goes my dream job of being a web developer . combined with the fact I’ve an awful case of dyspraxia which means I struggle with simple tasks. I’m 24 years old living a nightmare everyday. I struggle everyday afraid of what this year will bring. I see death as an answer . I tried to hang my self back in 08 but fucked it up of […]

its time to go

not long now ill be gone soon

if you miss me look at moon

it not long now

ill always ask how

as i take my final breath

all gone

all over

now im greeting death

I feel like I’m just full of hot air, everytime I get to the bottom of the bottom I can’t seem to end it. I tell myself alright you ***** you tried once and failed but you know what they say try and try again. I believe that maybe there is something keeping me here but lately its getting harder to believe myself.

I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to deal with people at work. I cant

Who remembers ever talking to “lmarc“??

Everyone else going out with their group of friends. I’m not, because I don’t have any true friend. I’m twenty, and in college, i met two friends, but one was a backstabber, so we’re not friends with each other anymore, so left one friend, but this one friend who stay with me till now, she never made any effort to go out or hang out with me, and it’s been 3 years, so i feel highly that there’s something wrong in this friendship. If she considered me as her friend, not just in college, then why can’t she asked me? because every time i did […]

Why does everyone have to dress like hookers when it starts to get hot outside? Seriously, do they feel it is mating time and they need to attract sexual partners for breeding? And then when someone not as optically attractive as they are wears the same kind of clothes they are criticized and laughed at for doing the exact same thing. Anyways, there are enough fine pieces of clothing which aren’t too warm to wear and which cover more than just the reproduction organs.

And imagine a guy wearing the same clothes, or even worse a NERD wearing those clothes: I don’t want to think about […]

Why did you rape me? Why did you kill me? Why did I wake up again? Why did my heart start beating again? Why did you hurt me? When I was only 2 or 3 years old? I feel so sorry. I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like I should have been a better child and given you more. I am confused. I am scared. I suffered 18 years of a difficult time at home. And the problem was: My parents didn’t even know. They didn’t even realise what was going on. They didn’t even realise they were wrong. They thought they were good and […]

I always thought of changing my life style and everything, before beginning of something big like college, job. I tired my best to fit in to there college lifestyle, I did make a lot of friends i was happy but after few weeks something happened i don’t know what all of a sudden everyone started to think of my as clown, Started picking on me but i didn’t say a word against them and that made things even worse, which made me talk of the town literally as i live in a town. you see the same faces everyday. which gave people the opportunity to talk shit behind my back. I can fell […]