At school I could always be myself
And I could do that without being hated
Without being critiqued
And just accepted into the group of my friends
Unlike my world at my house
At my house I got criticized
I got yelled at for the slightest mistakes
I got hit even though I did nothing wrong
Maybe living here is why they hit me
Anyway I had a world where I could just be me
And not get hated, or hit, or criticized
I wouldn’t have to worry about making mistakes
Because my friends would always forgive me
But now that has drastically changed
One […]

Why do people push love away before they can give love a chance?

Fear, Frustration, Anger and Heart Break changes that.

Have you ever been so excited and so alive with one person yet for no apparent reason they leave and everything changes? One day you guys are doing so much and are so happy that you can’t leave that person behind, because you think that there isn’t anyone as loving like them or enjoy each other’s company? You’ve done almost everything together and feels like nobody can ever replace them? Then one day, you both wake up. They leave you behind for other people. They lie; make excuses. […]

Oblivion, sweet temptress!
your softly whispered secret
so simple, seductive
offers welcome respite
to a vulnerable ear
in that fractured moment
I fall shaking at your feet
your womb-like embrace
offered so freely, lovingly,
promises fresh, silent wholeness
to a man balled on the floor
but temptress, beware
your mask is slipping
something subtle, sinister
belies your seductive call
you are no temptress
you are a siren
luring poets to their doom

Admittedly, I don’t post prolifically, but I read the posts here every day. A lot of times, the selfishness of parents comes up (i.e. “they’re selfish, I didn’t ask to be here!”), and I totally agree with such sentiments. In fact, I’m here to post a true story that, I think, highlights such selfishness in an obviously negative way. I should mention that I’m actually not the subject of this story; rather, it is comprised of bits and pieces of blog posts by somebody named Anne McCarthy, about her son James (presumably James McCarthy). It is deliberately told in a somewhat […]

I’ve been cursed all my life. I feel like I’m the worst person alive on earth! I suck at everything. I used to be an intelligent student who attains A’s and B’s at school. But now, I’ve been getting D’s and F’s because of my personal problems. I also used to design houses, sing, dance, wirte fictional stories, play chess, swim and go outside but now, I feel like I’m not capable of those things anymore. Depression has been getting over me. I feel like I’m the dumbest person. I’ve never been involved in any of the clubs and school activities because of the feeling I […]

so there is this one guy who works in the photo department at the Walmart by my house and he is INSANELY cute and super sweet. Every time he sees me he comes up and says hi to me and asks how I’ve been and makes conversation… well apparently my mom told him (when i wasn’t there) that I like him… not only did she tell him that I have a crush on him, but he KNEW WHO I WAS!!!!!! This was a couple months ago. now every time I’m in there to get pictures developed (which I do quite a bit because I take […]

I am a 27 year old failure in life I have no reason to be on this earth I have never felt so alone then I do today I have been thinking about taking my life for some time now and the feeling has been increasing for the past several months with today being the strongest feeling of wanting to just end it all I feel as if I have no purpose and the people around me see me as being ungrateful and useless I have to fully agree with the later of the two I have a son who doesn’t view me as his […]

I’ve tried it as a method of suicide. I couldn’t get past a liter without feeling like I was drowning myself in a tasteless liquid. I’m tired of trying all of these methods and getting no where! Its not that I’m half assing my attempt’s because plenty of people die doing a lot less, I’m simply unlucky. I need to find a way to get luck on my side soon, before I’m torn from the only thing that I have left.. my apartment.

Okay so this has been bugging me for a while now….   I don’t really have people to talk to about it so I guess this is my best place to get it out.

When I was in elementary school I was exactly the same as I am now, passive aggressive though it was probably worse back then.  I didn’t talk to anyone and I was super shy.  Around third grade I ended up befriending this girl, lets call her L.  So L ended up becoming my best friend.  But around the end of fifth grade she started ignoring me.  She ignored me for the rest […]

I start to see a new way, everything seems okay now, but right when things seem fine….my world comes crashing down around me and i cant stand the weight of everything thats happening , i just want things to be better and be able to be happy on my own is that to much to ask? like for real…. i hate depression with a burning passion i want to kill it. make it go away please …………….

Every human provided with 100 years and little bit access to huge brain.

What they are doing:

1. Try to make money which he may not finish in his life time

2. Strive for fame where everyone praise him even after his death

poor people go for 1st option
average people sulk on their misfortune birth
rich people go for 2nd option

you don’t experience, literally, anything if you are dead.

logically speaking, humans are foolish

only non foolish act a human can do

1. suicide
2. suicide
3. suicide

I just realized I haven’t cried in a very very long time. Even though I feel like I want to sometimes, I just don’t have the energy. Too tired to cry, to tired to care, to tired to change.

everyday its the same routine. waking up thinking its a new day but then suddenly everything reminds how much of a fuckup you really are. And school doesnt make it any better. makes it worse actually. ive tried to pick myself up but eventually when i get home i dont eat or talk but go to my room And cry myself to sleep.

When it gets so intense I’m always back again.When I was 15 I did an art piece depicting a face expressing pain. Their eyes clenched tightly and mouth arched viciously downwards as if all was lost. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the intensity of what I feel that drives me mad and soon to sadness. This idea unintentionally danced through my painting as I realised the inspiration was an image of Lleyton Hewitt winning his first and only grand slam. Ironic huh? Being the bell of the ball and the crazy bipolar ***** whimpering away in her room. And I don’t mean […]

All I seem to do is fuck up everything… Where do I even start? I don’t know. My head is spinning, and my body aches and if I stand the dizziness will knock me down. I don’t even know what to do with myself. My teachers tell me how I’ll make it far in life, yet I’m unable see it. Once they know I’m suicidal they’ll get the stupid counselor involved and they’ll realize how the weak cowardly freshman will never accomplish anything they once thought she would. People around me can’t keep their mouths shut, they always have something to say. I’m tired of […]

Its been over 3 months since the last time I saw the person I am in love with. I have not tried to talk to him or anything. There are days I would give anything to hold him one more time. But I don’t contact him because I know he wont talk to me, things ended pretty bad between us. I just wish there was a way to tell him how much I miss him without talking to him

I drink cause I’m dry. Of the tears I have cried.

So for about three years I’ve always wanted to kill myself, the thought never goes away, I tried everything to get it out of my head but nothing works..I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, feels like I’m locked up in chains

please, how do I get this feeling away, how do I live a happier live witbout the consumption of poisons into my body, I’m lohelp my mind is slowing dying, my soul slowly vanishing, please help.

Oh shit.  Oh shit.  Oh shit.  Oh shit.  Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh fennec foxes. Oh shit. Oh shit.  Oh shit I fucked up so much and am just worsening what’s already bad.  Oh shit.

i realized i’m very self centered.

i’m all about me. i feel like the world should stop and help me fix all my feelings. but that never happens nor will it ever.
i’m a broken record reiterating my problems, feelings and concerns to the world expecting help or consolation.

screw it