Dreams, a reason why we all work hard to conquer then,to live them.there is always a stage in our life when we let go of our dreams and our aspiration and that point of time we all lie to our ownself that maybe it was not in our destiny or maybe someting better is planned for us. Thats where we lose control over our fate…after this phase is over we all pamper our self make up stuff to satiate our pinching mind which makes us realise that we had done wrong…after all this will be over we again dream but this time its in our […]

I am new here. I have read about your feelings and I decided to share mines with you.
Sorry, about my English… I am trying to improve, so any mistake that you find out, feel free to correct me – that is how I learn, isn’t it?
I also have my own blog – if you want to visit and comment I will appreciate your kindness – http://daysofwonders.blogspot.pt/

// March 19th //
Forget all about the motivational sentences. Forget them for your own good, because when the time […]

I don’t want anyone’s pity, that’s not why I post on this site, this is just the only place where I can put down anything

So basically, typical depressed male teenager story, plus a few details

Anyway, I just…I’m lost, I spend most of my time alone, even though I fear isolation, though I’m welcoming it more and more. I was crying during lunch today at school because somebody came up to me and wanted to know what was wrong, and how they could help. But they can’t. I know this is vague, I’ve never been one for details, I don’t talk to people much. Honestly the […]

I’m not much of a writer
Not really a poet
But I can’t seem to shake this
I know that you know it
I see your face
In every mistake
I hear your voice
With every choice
And I’m tryin my best
I can’t seem to show it
I can’t seem to rest
I know that you know it

Give up let it go
Run away and don’t show it
I found my salvation
She’s your reincarnation
I found my damnation
She’s your resurrection
Run away and don’t show it
Give up let it go

She lifts me to heaven
As you drag me to hell
She […]

I am still here…I am trying…trying to live.

I’m completely heartbroken, overwhelmed, and miserable.

It was so quiet when the music stopped
So empty when the bottom dropped
So somber when the dreamers lay
Down to die, their heartstrings frayed
The waking hours became too real
No dreams to conjure up their zeal
And then the night, too, ceased to give
A single dream to help them live
It withered them like winter does
But coated them with soot and rust
It caked their lungs in deathly plaque
And left their souls a ghastly black
Oh how they would have sacrificed
To find and bring their dreams to life
A hope on which their eyes to fix
Like miracles […]

I cut. Deep. I regret this.

Starring at my food but I can not eat it,
Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping,
Crying in my room and I keep it top secret,
Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it.
I’m cut open, even thought I am not bleeding.
My heart’s broken, so Imma make it stop beating.
Someone runs in the room and screams,
“He’s not breathing!”

I’m rushed to the hospital to have a Doc treat it,
But he cannot beat it, there`s no time at all,
Cause I just popped some pills with some Tylenol,
And 3 bottles of antidepressants, and Zam […]

To tell you all that everything is gonna be alright.

Ive been so far down. Came to this site once. Got a little back up again after talking to likeminded people. Fell right back down. Ive cut, I loaded my ex-boyfriends gun and held it to my head. Ive cried for days. Stopped eating for days. I have scars up my arm.

But today I’m free. And you will be to if you just hold on. I know that each and everyone of you in here are here because you have something holding you in this life. It is some reason you have deep inside that is […]

So for a while now I’ve noticed that I have an “unpleasant” energy. Some people would assume I’m weird or awkward, I feel like I repel people from me. When I was younger I use to believe it was people being intimidated by me.

I’ve been told that I’m an open book. No matter how hard I try to suppress these emotions and try to fake it I show no progress. I work in solitude, where I see people on a daily basis. A seedy looking man walked in and reeked of cologne. He had his top button loose and a greasy looking Elvis curl. I […]

is so important. You have to appreciate what you have and be thankful. And being/ feeling appreciated makes a life worth living. Usually it is the family and very close friends who appreciate you and who show you that need you and love you and will always be there for you.

In my case – since I wouldnt put any of my friends in this category – it has always been family that made my life somehow worth living. I would even call them the only reason why I am still alive. During the last few weeks I started to realize something though, and I have […]

Our lies and Broken promises crossed paths
Tears and screams escaped our eyes
My love was something of nothing
a general mix of  a dream and  a reality

I let the blood drip, and My mouth water
but I did not cry aloud, for I did not need to be heard.
Thoughts, and thoughts, they fell ..but none of them, she caught
Fear surges throughout the air, the paranoia attaching to my past
She’s gone. i’m alone and the rope is tightening around my neck

Black and blue, unconscious and fine
I’ll remember, the times how you were all mine.
beautiful and sweet; wicked and cruel
It […]

All i really want to do now is go to sleep forever. IV always been useless and ugly. I am never going to get anywhere in life so what is the point in living. The only reason i am still alive is because my death would upset a few people to much. Iv let my mum down who brought me up all by herself and wasted her life to try and give me the best she could. People tell me im a lovely person but that doesn’t matter. Just want to be normal and not ugly and to have a tiny bit of success in […]

im crazy and sad. and alone. and scared. what do i do?

i tired of trying to make things work when you dont even try anymore.
ill iv done is cry
go to sleep sad
and wake up the same way
iv givin up
im tired
youv only left me with a broken heart and i dont see why im with you still.

Well I was busy and she was not, so she poked around found the key! Opened my hiding place, found two tanks of helium, I was smart enough not to keep all the components together, I scattered them in separate places, the regulator, tubing, and so on, she asked what I had those tanks for! I said for blowing up balloons, she said where are the balloons? I said I haven’t gotten them yet, I said it was a surprise! I was throwing a party! She said what party? I said well it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you! Ha ha!  Little […]

Where do I turn when no one will listen?

The suicide hotline is of no use to me.

If I attempt to call them, I’ll just be referred to a mental health facility.

My family?

They don’t understand. I tried to talk about my problems stemming from my depression. Their responses: Why do you feel that way? Why can’t you get over it?

My girlfriend I could never talk to about this.

Even though I care about her deeply,  she doesn’t understand. I talk to her about this, she makes jokes about suicide and cutting.

So I ask,

Where do I turn when no one will listen?

I spend all day with belt tied around my neck. Desensitizing myself. Tightening just enough to feel rush of blood to the head. Preparing myself to make my death comfortable.

“Maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning” is literally just the human version of “Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”

just came across this. wanted to know your thoughts on it because a lot of people get this kind of response.