One of the most puzzling things to me is that people show up at memorials and cemeteries with flowers, and they talk to the plaque or headstone. What’s the fucking point there? You’re only talking to yourself, those remains can’t hear you. Those remains can’t appreciate the flowers either.

I think most people are in denial about the fact that they are going to die someday. It is the reason the concept of the afterlife appeals to them, a “better place” makes it easier to say goodbye. Not implying that is true or not, just the social consequences. I think everyone carries around quite a bit […]

i know im “normal”. i know its “fine”. but i cant help feeling fat. i cant help hating myself.  i cant help eating and feeling like i shouldnt.  i cant help but hate every part of me. if i could id never eat again. ive thought about it time and time again. what if  i could change that to this or this to that. but i can never see me liking myself.

They employ words and mind games tactics for more than ten years but they do it in a way that it doesn’t matter that my soul is in pain everyday and I’m always the one to blame if I don’t do it their way. I explain to them my point of view but they can’t help or understand it.

They force me to say hi everyday. Other people and family members force me to say hi everyday. If I don’t say hi, it’s like the whole world is gonna end. They love it, they are like robots. Hi is the most important thing. They love to talk almost 24 hours everyday. Every little insignificant bullshit has to be talked over and over again everyday.

She overcame sadness by sharing her gift. Listen to my dear friend at soundcloud.com/ samanthasings ~ may you be renewed and find comfort and joy in this life

“How many times can a loser fucking lose? I know you’ll find a way!” – Slayer

I keep asking myself this question. I’m running out of people to talk to, things to do, ways to distract myself. Didn’t there used to be a user-made discord for this site? What happened to it? Does anyone wanna talk to me? My username is Prudish#6582. Maybe we should make a new discord server. The loser’s den! Ha! How about that? How does that sound?

I’ve tried to die many times before but never success every day is just so fast, day in day out, it’s always the same. I’ve once told my mother I was depressed but I was being “dramatic like my father” So I don’t know what to do, I have may reasons to die so do not feel sorry for me. I just wish I could just press a button that gives courage plus 100 so I could die in peace or whatever. I really only care about my young nephew and cousin because their life’s are really bad and wouldn’t want their lives to be […]

Loss sucks. probably going to slip back into self harm.

I hate this.

Why do we live? Do we live in a society where we all don masks to satisfy societal standards and ostracize those who do not? Do we work 9-5 daily just to earn meager wages while the top 1% of society exploits you? This is not life, this is a living nightmare.

In my country, stress amongst working adults and teens are one of the highest in the world. Yet nothing is done to actively combat this. I am one of this system’s victims.

Some might take this lightly, but i do not fear the end of my life. This life of mine […]

Thinking about it….i dont have a “good time to do it” no matter what day i choose the outcome will be the same.

when i was a kid, before smartphones were a thing, and when internet was mostly for reading, pictures, and music, and when youtube was very small and i somehow didn’t care about it at all, i could fill my time just reading harry potter. i don’t know how it was possible, but i could just focus and read a book. but i have never read a book in a single day, and didn’t even know back then it was a thing.

these days, i can’t focus much at all. sometimes i can keep reading for hours but then i get bored or distracted. i read one […]

Lemme guess: You got crushed by society and never pursued your dream either, right? Yeah, that’s how it goes. Artsy female? Wonderful. Artsy male? May as well hang it up and become a NEET like me.

A day or two ago there was a mass shooting in the nearest large town. That doesn’t happen round here; hardly anyone has guns, and its pretty rural. When I hear about this kind of thing on the news, I always struggle to understand the mindset of the murderer.

I can totally get feeling hatred and anger toward society; even wanting to hurt people. I’ve had fantasies about wiping out the whole of humanity; just so I can finally be free of the fear of others. I can even understand lashing out in a moment of rage or despair. So I think I get some of […]

im wondering if maybe its being handled all wrong. when trying to recover it seems people are expected to just change. theyre expected to just go from pulling the trigger (figuratively with pun intended) to just start working towards everything being ok. maybe that isnt the answer. maybe there needs to be a break period in between. something calm, away from the problem. a place where they can work on an in between. not recovery but not thinking about suicide either.

this idea most likely wouldnt help everyone but im sure it would help a lot considering how overwhelming and enclosing it must feel.

im wondering if […]

Everyone takes advantage of the ‘weak’, vulnerable and ‘dumb’. Yeah, there’s a reason why I put those in inverted commas…

Yes, everyone. It’s just done in different ways. Sometimes it’s rather subtle!

I dislike nearly everyone.

Oh and the last one… if society doesn’t see you as ‘normal’, you’ll be garbage in their eyes.

So Titles are back. But what is this Subtitle thing? I don’t see what I wrote on the subtitles line on the posted posts anywhere.

I see that paragraph delineations are still not back, so everything is still one long run-on post without proper spacing.

We also got a new Post Views. I suppose it’s nice to see how many views, but I suppose it’s also crushing when you see that no one (or very few) have clicked on your post. But considering most posts get very few comments, I suppose seeing how many views is nicer.

All these decades of pain and agony could have been avoided had I never been born. No doubt there is more agony to come. Especially when old age comes.

JFC isn’t that the worst hell- slowly dying of old age diseases and problems. That sh*t actually scares me. Has anyone watched documentaries on old people dying? Where they film the death in stages, 1 yr before, 6mo before, 1 mo before, 1 week before, etc. Anyway, I find it f*cking cruel that they won’t allow us to just take a pill or give us an injection.

How […]

I want to sincerely thank the admins for returning me the ability to put titles on my posts. It is a little comfort that I previously took for granted, but now understand the frailty and value of.

I started writing this as a comment, and then I realized that it was going to be more of a thought than a tangent, and here we are.

My wife this evening [last night?! what does one put at 4 AM?] made a remark that put it all in perspective I think;

“I often wonder what my life would be like if I was doing what I was meant to.”

As an […]

I want to roll one but i have therapy later. Of course i dont even want to go therapy but some people think its good for me. Im so fucking tired of being ‘that one’. And yet i laugh knowing it was just fact that i was suicidal in HS. Cuz yeah, thats a trait everyone wants attached. “Cute, pretty, smart, funny, suicidal……”

Im leaning towards f*** it *eyeroll* i dont even want to be bothered with life, why should i care. (Rhetorical)

No one ever listens… Especially when you need them to.