I’m 17, and have had more troubles in my life then a 90year old.I’ve survived this hell for years and looked down upon those “weak” enough to take their own lives. I’ve been the one raised to.always push through it, be strong, deal with it, survive,. And yet out of nowhere today I find myself registsuicide project. Here’s my story. My life was mazing I had the best family you could ask for ya we.were definitely not well ofny means just a hard working middle class family.My father was humble mechanic my mom just a stay at home mom, two sisters one brother who are […]

I’ve been contemplating suicide for a couple of years. I think about it because I am so messed up and because I am miserable. I don’t want to do anything. I am a waste. Some people call it selfish but I think I’m doing them a favor. I have a good plan and I’ve practiced many times. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for…

Or maybe I should entitle it.. “Worthless Others”

Idk.. Lately I’ve been finding it hard to value people at all. I feel so alien. Cuz after all, if people aren’t worth a damn in my life then whats the point of being anyone worth while in the first place. I’m so sick of this blood sucking planet. Fucking worthless god damn people…. Everywhere!!! I’m not trying to be hateful… But fuck’m all anyways!!

For namesakes, my name is Alex. That is not my first name, but it is half of my middle name. It feels better to put a name to this. I am 19 years old, I weigh about 110 pounds, and I am 5 foot 6 inches tall, and I’m skinny. These are the traits I credit as the roots of all my insecurities. I want to make this very personal, as there I things here I have never told anyone ever before, but wont put my actual name on the off chance that someone I know sees this and recognizes my name.

Up until my sophomore […]

I just need help. I wanna get over this but I end up talking myself down & convincing myself i’m not capable. I just need a hand. A girl can only take so much. Also, I dont need anyone telling me suicide is stupid. Do you know whats stupid? Pushing someone so far the only answer they see to fix it all is suicide. Thats stupid.  I also dont need someone to complicate everything I just said. I dont need anyone to go into detail. Just help.

I have a date to die. In almost three weeks time, I expect to no longer be here. Or at least not exist in my current corporeal state. It’s even entered into my google calendar, though not in overly obvious terms. How morbid is that? Funny enough, since I selected the date last night, I no longer feel “suicidal.” Rather, I feel like a terminally ill patient who has been told his expiration date. I feel I’m marching towards it. I feel there is no longer any choice involved and that’s a relief. I would have to compare it to when a mother is told […]

No one ever wants to except me as a friend! I need someone to talk to and this is the only place left on earth that I have not looked yet! I am the biggest loser it seems like to me! Any advice?

If it was not for prozac I probably would be a threat to myself!

I cannot do anything right and no one cares about me! Nothing is interesting at all! I have nothing to write about! I wish I had someone to talk to on a regular basis! In my opinion most people hate me! I live a sad life!

My use name peepingtom is only to disrespect me, it is not true! My name is not even tom! I wish someone was here with me! I live a lonely life and it is depressing and full of tragedy!  Because of this no one ever wants to […]

You are the ocean. So beautiful and blue, secreting so many mysteries and memories. I see you and my heart flutters and grows with sugar adoration. We travel along the path to reach the destination of our dreams. My heart grows tired and cold during the travel, because it is as if the ocean gets more and more tumultuous. The dysfunctional waves collide and fill with a force unbeknownst to me; my fragile mind. As the destination of our dreams draws closer, motivation created by the light and perfection surges through my mind and my body, and I become aggressive. I fight with everything I […]

I hate myself so much. I’m such a waste of space, I don’t even deserve to breathe the air around me. I should have died so many years ago. Worst part is, I just don’t have the courage to do it for myself. I’m just waiting for death to find me. I smoke enough and I’ve abused my body so much, it’s really surprising that it hasn’t yet. I actually have no interest in anything. I do nothing. I go nowhere. I can barely force myself to make a phone call. I’m existing just to exist. This is not a life worth living.

I love helping people but over the past year I’ve felt like every time I help someone, it makes me feel worse. I hate seeing people so sad all the time and none of these people deserve it. I started feeling so bad about other people being sad that I started doubting my own life. I don’t understand it. why do some people get to live happy lives and almost never have to use all of their strength just to get out of bed in the morning? and why do others have to go through such torture? I kept thinking about it over and over […]

Yesterday i almost contemplated running away from home.

“How empty & meaningless life is – we bury a person, we accompany them to the grave, throw 3 spadefuls of earth on them; we ride out in a carriage, ride home in a carriage, we find consolation in the thought that we have a long life ahead of us, but how long is seven times ten years? 

Why not settle it all at once, why not stay out there and go along down into the grave and draw lots to see to whom will befall the misfortune of being the last of the living who throws the last 3 spadefuls of […]