One of these days this planet is going to catch fire and burn up.  Good riddance earth and good riddance humanity.  God I’m sorry for all the animals you murdered.

I am so goddamn fucking tired of people telling me that my mood bugs them…like it doesn’t bug me…I have tried everything to not be depressed but nothing works…someone tells me I screw up so I apologize and say I feel bad for screwing up and how I always find a way to do it and then they have the balls to tell me that my down in the dumps attitude bothers them…WELL SO FUCKING WHAT…I don’t want to feel like this, but I do…I go to therapy, I am on 9 different meds and and I have workbooks to try and work thru my […]

I drug myself just to sleep

My heart is racing a mile a minute, I can’t stop breathing so fast.

I’m shaking

I’m crying and don’t know why

I don’t want to cut anymore, I need to.

If I don’t cut I’m going to kill myself

& I was fine 20 minutes ago, I don’t know what happened.

2 months I stopped

but today you made me start

you made me cry and that led me to cut

I hid my razor in  box

but now its in my hand

I don’t know what to do anymore

I really wished

you would just care…..

half of the stress in my life is because of you and everything you say to me and about how I can do better than my best just take me as I am and try to accept me as your daughter all you seem to care about is my grades and not me and trying to change the way I look and always putting me down about my everything just stop trying to change me before I stop myself from going on

Dear Diary,  today I convinced myself it’s okay to give up.

Don’t take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama.

Now just isn’t the time.

But my reasons aren’t reasons, they’re excuses.

All I’m doing is hiding from the truth and the truth is, I’m scared.

I’m scared that if I let myself be happy for one moment, that my worlds going to come crashing down and I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive that.

The girl was laying in her bed staring up at the ceiling, unblinking, her long hair streaming out around her. Her tears had made large damp marks on her pillow case. The door was closed; the blinds were drawn.

She was waiting for the pills to take effect.

She wondered how long it would be before she started to drift away. She hoped it would be painless and peaceful – just like in the movies. How long had it been already? It felt like forever.

She thought of her family. Of her brothers and sister. Would they miss her after she was gone? They had never exactly been […]

Does anyone else hate the idea of having to hire someone else to fix your own thoughts?

I just want a therapist that won’t pressure me to talk. One that won’t jump to conclusions or be so focused on “fixing” me that I feel uncomfortable. I’m not broken, I just need someone to care. I need a therapist who will laugh with me, but who will also sympathize when I need it. Someone who is patient enough to understand that they are a stranger to me and I need to get to know them before I tell them my secrets. I need a therapist who has […]

I’m my own worst enemy. I don’t wanna be myself no more, I wanna be somebody else.

She is just a girl

Degrading herself for a simple compliment
Trying to boost her confidence and self esteem
But all it does is lower

She is just a soul
Craving love and affection
But all she knows is
Rejection and abandonment
She only wants to belong

She is just a cutter
Some emo girl in the back of the class
Carving her thoughts into her skin
Trying to cope

She is only […]

Dont you just despise that moment where you try to prove something to someone & they just ignore all of it and just accuse you? Yup. This has been happening to me for about 6 months now. Can I just stop trying? Its killing me.

It turns out, I cant delete this account. Oh well….

My brain wont shut up even after hours of me laying here. I have so many thoughts running through my head, stressful thoughts. I then get more stressed knowing that I need to get up early in the morning but this just makes my head spin faster. I can’t get all my thoughts from the day out my head and it’s giving me a head ache. I get this feeling most nights and it’s making me exhausted. I don’t feel stressed until I get in bed. I hate this. I just want out. Out of the stresses of life, and the pain of my brain. […]

I pray to die every day. However I try to still trust that there is some reason for this insanity called my life. Maybe it will work out.  Maybe not. And maybe (crossing my fingers) when I go to sleep tonight I won’t have to wake up ever again… that sounds so wonderful to me. I think I am done…

I’m sorry I fell so hard. I know I’m not good enough, that I’ll never be. I get that now. And it fucking sucks. Because you know what? I’ll never be good enough for you. I’ll never be good enough.

My hopes got so fucking high. Hope sucks, because it just makes your fall that much further. And I hate falling. I try to hate you, I try not to mind you, I try! I promise! I’m trying so fucking hard to get over you, but I can’t because I’m not strong enough. Fuck.

How can one person intensify my suicidal thoughts by that much? It hurts […]

The air around me is heavy these days. A faint mist of despair and dread obscure my vision wherever I walk. I hardly look at people as they pass me by. My footsteps echo in an empty world. I have constant pains in my stomach and I have to force myself to eat. No more sexual drive. No control of my emotions. The slightest thought, if tilted in the wrong direction, sends my ego tumbling to the ground to be shattered and I begin to weep at things no self-respecting person should.

This feeling, this darkness, I can feel it sitting inside me like a lead […]

When I first came here I did a post about this topic….but recently while in a Chat Room the debate was started up on if money could solve everything….My stance was that it couldn’t because some problems can’t be solved by money alone….others proclaimed that money would allow you to buy happiness in the form of material goods and great experiences….They brought up some good points so…

So I’ll ask this…

If you were given a 100 million dollars tomorrow….would your problems be solved? would you be able to obtain some form of happiness? would you prefer to live? would your depression vanish?

I would consider myself a scientist in all occasion but this. I am logged in to a suicide blog. If I thought nothing but substance was involved this ideal would long be abolished. I do not believe in the idea of a soul, whether that be of a newborn or a registered adult.

What are we supposed to do when the only chemical consultants we have to refer to are psychiatrists? I do not care for the idea of trading symptom for symptom. I want to be cured; I want to be relieved of this duty.

Social life is about talking and doing stuff together, and… aren’t this just so fucking boring? even if it’s fun! it’s boring.

If youre on here and youre an asshole, I have no sympathy for you. Sorry not sorry.

What’s left of me…I don’t feel the same. I am trying to satisfy everyone around me, i am trying to please others while i feel nothing at all, it’s different than emptyness and i have been here before. Like i don’t exist at all. I would love to see everyone smiling, not to be worried about me or not to be annoyed or bothered with what i do. But it seems impossible to do the right thing if there is the right thing at all. As you engage in so many relations with others you slowly disappear and this doesn’t feel right. I began to […]