When I talk about my own death it sounds normal it doesn’t get to me. But when someone else tells me or I find out someone died I break down. I feel like complete shit. I don’t know how to explain it. I just hate death even though I think about my own death at times..

sorry just need to rant some today

When you promise me that you will always be there for me but when i need you most you ignore me. i try to talk to you in person, but you don’t even give me a single glance. Its as if i don’t exist but yet you still message me once in awhile just because you fell guilty. you saw me burst into tear but yet you ignored me. everyone ignored me. I ABSOLUTELY HATE BEING LIED TO…… I’ve been through hell and back and now im back in hell and all of you have given up on me. […]

I don’t know where I’d be without my deformed maniac shelter puppy. (Why, and perhaps how, would anyone breed a dachshund with a pit bull?). Somehow, I just couldn’t say no to his white vest and two white toes on each foot. He’s the most bro dog I’ve ever had.

And cat people, please don’t confuse cats with the greatness of dogs; dogs are clearly higher in the Lamarkian chain of beings. ;^)

I used to have a big sloppy Saint Bernard. One day while walking back home, Bobo stopped at a teenage girl sitting on a curb in front of the bus […]

I don’t know who I am anymore. It’s like my oldself escaped somehow. Is that even possible? Or am I still me but its hidden really deep inside. I don’t feel like myself when I’m alone. I don’t even know who I am. Everyone knows that happy girl because that’s the act I put up for people. Or is it..? I wonder and question about my life. A lot. I have family and friends who love me. I still don’t know why I feel so empty, this isn’t the first time. Actually I been feeling like this for a while. Putting up a past on […]

i actually just don’t have a way out right now.

not from lack of motive, or opportunity, just a lack of means

what should i do in the meantime?

drinking now. but i’ll wake up eventually

and i really don’t want to

Where the fuck is PROCEL????

😐

today’s ironic moment involves what came in the mail today. a flyer that came addressed to me lets me know that a certain sporting goods store is having a big sale. you can guess what it is that’s on sale.  guns of course. while i currently don’t feel compelled to buy one, it doesn’t hurt to know a price range for what i am looking at. are we all the butt of some cosmic joke or does it just seem like it?

Daft Punk Discovery download
Jay-Z discography download
Kanye West Mercy […]

Have  you ever thought about what would happen to the humanity in 60 000 years? Will we still be here? Will people be able to live the same way as we are today? Or at least those who aren’t struck by this hopelessness us depressed are in.

I have a theory. First, I wan’t to settle some things. I’m a realistic thinker and believe– No, don’t believe – I know we are here because of the evolution. I’m sorry to all those heavy religious people out there: I envy your dedication to Jesus, Allah, lions or whatever you believe in and trust, but I don’t understand how fictional […]

I know its a lie. why do i live it? at every moment of serenity i feel like now i have seen it and now i am gonna maintain it. but only end up in this same wretched state. I am full of confusion. I don’t believe in anything anymore. why? because i am aware of its opposite too…i am aware that opposite also exists and with same conviction. and since both exists, i believe in none. This life as i am living now, i never considered it my true state, my true nature. I always feel like i am living it “just out of […]

Whenever we’re little, why is it that we wish we were older? Much older? Why didn’t anyone warn us of this? The adult life is so sugar-coated and isn’t as glamorous as it’s made to be.We wasted out childhoods on wishing we were done with it, when in all actuality, we would give up anything just to go back.

I first tried to kill myself when I was fourteen, after 3 years of cutting. My parents split up, I lost my 8 day old nephew, my sisters moved out, I lost my friends, and I had nothing holding me back from suicide. I was put on […]

Everyday

He did it again. I guess I should be greatful. Last time he poured oil all over the out side of my car with me in side and held a lighter to it and told me to get out. This time he only strangled me and fractured my knee.

I know I need to die but I don’t want to do it by his hand.

i just feel that rare moment i take to even make a teeny smile someone chooses to fuck up my day.

Thanks assholes.

YOU’RE a QUEER, a SISSY, GAY, a FAGOT; little words that do enormous damage to any person, but especially children, may be long forgotten by those who say them, but never erased from the memory of those who endure.

Unless he was in front of an audience, Jimbeau Hinson, Jimbeauhinson.com writer of Setting Fancy Free (The Oak Ridge Boys) Tonight I’m Looking for a Party Crowd, (David Lee Murphy) and other hits, was always a shy, quiet child.

“I always felt different from everyone else at the time, but I’ve come to realize I was […]

Hello.  I’m new here, but I’ve been reading posts for days.  I can empathize, truly, but try to hear me.

I can relate. As an emerging teen, I had deep times of depression. I tried to kill myself when I was 21, and came very close again when I was 30. As time went on, I just would be dismissive. “It’s just depression” I’d tell myself, “it will pass”, and I was right.

Several years ago, I found myself at an unlikely place, someone’s home where a church group met. (This is not a God endorsement.) The leader shared […]

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about life and everything that goes in it. I have come to find that when we focus too much on everything that is going on at a time when things seeem to there darkest, it is very hard to see the light. However, if we take a step back, take a deep breath, and look at things from a different prospective everything seems to change and we see things differently.

Sometimes you just have to look at it from a new pair of eyes and see a different prospective.

I just want a solitary place where I can hide forever. So I never have to see anyone or talk to anyone ever again. People way too often do nothing but let you down. It’s not worth the pain and misery to give them my time when nobody gives me theirs.

I started to self harm when i was 7 do to different things. For one i was badly bullied and pushed around by other kids. From age about 7 to age 12 my sister mentally, emotionally, physically, verbally, and sexually abusedme. My parents were devoriced and my mothefr was never around. My dad neglected. me and he mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused me all my life. I did everything around the house a mother & maid together would do. I hated it. I was a super shy kid and i had no friends. I’d listen to all types rock, metal, etc. I was Bisexual and […]