Took a very unwanted stroll down memory lane, was reminded of all the horrible things that happened in my life that my family blame me for. my parents getting divorced when i was 4 years old… my fault, my dad walking out on me for a woman… also my fault, being constantly reminded that I’m not as good as my siblings and blackening the family name because i’m not perfect… my fault, being called fat and ugly is also my fault because they wouldn’t have to say it if it wasn’t true.
Being reminded of all the years i was bullied in school and all […]

leve me alone i dont like this i whant out of that billding i whant to go home
a fleeting glimps of what i youst to be of the boy runing torw my haed in a feld
were the red and blue flowers grow were the grass grows tall and thick were the boy who at age 9 pikt up a gutat and nevet let go he still hasut but the words of his songs talk of deth ad losst love with no way out with somthing to shout about WITH the will to go on
a fleeting glimps of what i was
a chilld […]

For me It’s been too long.
To long from feeling the rush of the blade while it slides down my wrist splitting the skin.
Too long from helping deal with this.
Too long have I lived and breathed.
Too long have I stopped myself from ending all pain thinking it can get better.
I’ve been thinking for too long about ending it all.
It’s time to take action.
Time to start planning my get away.
Time to start saying my goodbyes.
Time to start telling all those people that they’ve done their part,
They’ve succeeded in making me feel worthless.
Time to start playing life […]

I’ve been depressed for about 6 years.  I’ve been thinking pretty much these thoughts throughout the entirety of that time period- the thoughts becoming more complex and clear or unclear as time passed.  I’m 18 now.  It has been especially bad this year getting ready for college.  The thoughts of moving out and beginning the rest of my life are eating away at me.  I never really thought I would get this far but I did.  The fact that I’ve only been here 18 years is killing me.  I’ve only been here 18 years.   How can I possibly put up with 70 more years […]

I just came out to my Dad tonight. I did not plan that at all. Came up totally unexpected. He came to talk to me because he noticed I was depressed and struggling and eventually things led to wanting to come out to him. I was so scared. I knew it was something I needed to do though. It took me so long to get it out. He’s a super conservative Catholic…so you can see why I would be scared shitless. He took it surprisingly calmly. But I don’t feel the relief I wish I had felt. I still feel like he doesn’t fully accept […]

Here is the place where I will let myself be terrified
I’m sick of telling you that I’m okay, that I’m fine
It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to hate lying
This time I won’t turn off the panic, I wanna cry
Release, I need to free the monster, free the fear
Even if I have to cut apart the cage
I will destroy this with my rage

I don’t wanna prevent myself from being this way
I don’t wanna tell you that I wanna live today
Because if I were to be honest, I don’t
And I’m scared of what I’ll do to […]

i know this is going to sound really petty. Ive tried to kill myself a few times in the past, and Im thinking about trying again. and i have nothing to stop me. i used to have one best and only friend i could talk to, but she hates me now. no use bringing it up again with my parents. Im seeing a therapist and on medicine already. anyway, what im asking is who do i talk to about this, and how do i bring it up? i dont really have any other friends. sorry for wasting your time, and thanks for any advice.

For so long…. My life has been one giant fuck up. I wont lie, Ive done a lot of bad things in my life. But thats not why I want my life to end…. A few years ago I lost my closest friend in the world. No, He didnt die… I suppose its best to start this story from the beginning. Please forgive me for my poor grammar and punctuation.

From the third week I was born, I had my friend Quinn. He was like a brother to me, He never dodged my questions when I was down and needing advice. He talked me out of […]

It’s one of those nights when I feel so alone. There’s a hole in my stomach that holds a faint physical pain and a tremendous emotional one. It’s as if I died right this second I’d be okay with that and not a single person would miss me. I want to cut myself to sleep, and if I never wake up that’s all the better. I haven’t wanted to kill myself in months, but right now… I forgot how bad it felt, honestly. My minds racing and it’s focusing on all the stupid crap I’ve done, I want to cut so bad, but my dad’s […]

If you’ve ever had a chemistry class’s you should know that at every moment of life there’s and enermOus amount of pressure hurling down on you. It s what keeps the water in place and the oygen in the air I think. But just like the oceans were all under pressure contanst continuous pressure. Thats really how we live forever….

I have a deep love for bots I love the sail bots the old wooden ones . I thong that mastery of ship captains and their crew is the apex of adventure and freedom. I ve always wanted to be and old shi ccatain and feel […]

I guess I could finally tell my story on here. I’ve been posting on here for a month, and I still never got out why I’m got so fucked up in the first place. Now, I don’t claim to have a bad life, just a fucked up mind and an inability to deal with what I have experienced.

I grew up in a pseudo-Christian home. By that, I mean that my family was picture perfect in Sunday service and fighting on the way home. My parents dragged us there but never really lived any of it, and I hate that about religion. So much pretense. Don’t […]

Hi,

I feel that I am not worthy of the life I have, I am not worthy of my amazing parents. I don’t deserve to go to the school I am going to. I feel that there are people out there that more worthy of the life I am currently living. I feel that if I were not alive, those people might have actually had the chance.

Despite my parental support, despite my amazing research advisor, I cannot keep up with my life and succeed. I feel that I can never go anywhere in my life. Not professionally, nor emotionally. I have never had anyone really love […]

Here I am sitting in front of a computer screen, having tears run down my cheeks. I just need to let this all out. I was born abroad and faced tons of bullying when I came to where I am now. Started in 2nd grade and it never ended in elementary or middle school. I never made much friends until Middle School. I was in a clique, were weren’t close; it was simply to gain an advantage over each other for selfish purposes like getting good grades. I saw everyone in a race, in a race of being the best in academics. I was smart, […]

Last night i tried to kill myself. I overdosed on my medications and i wish it killed me.

I just dont feel like being anywhere. It seems as though i dont share the same values as those who inhabit this patch of earth alongside me. I feel like im in a constant state of purgatory, neither here nor there. The only reason im on this site is i can express myself to those who might possibly relate, although im not so sure about that either. Im a blessed individual with a loving family and a lot of opportunities laid before me. Im mentally and physically blessed and i feel selfish for cursing my existence but i havent met anyone who gets me. Everyone […]

I’m surprised that people responded to my post about wanting to die probably because I’m used to being ignored when I need help the most. That’s right – ignored. It’s called growing up with a depressed, emotionally distant mother who was too preoccupied with her own problems to give her baby girl the nurturing and love she needed. Sneer if you want. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck. I’ve spent years in therapy, group therapy, on medications, making crazy, fucked up choices that intellectually I could not defend or understand yet I acted on anyway. I finally, finally put it all together: not enough of […]

A have you ever gotten that feeling you know the one that nothing is quiet right and that nothing will ever be right? Let’s operate that you do know this delight because you googled “suicide stories. That formentioned feeling is how my life’s been running in for awhile and to be honest I don’t care much nW. there’s a deep gutting feeling to all my crickets now ranging from joke telling to hanigning out with my best friends. It’s as if I wasn’t suicide to tell this joker hanging out here cause I’mdeeded somewhere else or rathe rnor needed but suppose to be and that […]

I’m thinking of using the helium hood kit method but I came across quite a few people who say that it doesn’t work. I think the purity of the helium matters. So I’m thinking of using industrial grade helium with a high concentration of helium. Does anyone have any comments on this?

Today I had to cut off my best friend who I’ve known for about 18 years or so. He really pissed me off and he has no respect for me so our friendship is over. I came to him for some advise and he just ridiculed me. Sometimes, its better not to have any friends than to have friends that treat you like shit. To hell with him. One less parasite out of my life.

Dave

Thank you for the bright red Office Space styled Swingline stapler. As requested, the coordinates to your mobile home have been registered as one of our possible future targets for tactical nuclear assault.

Regretfully I must admit that we have received thousands of similar requests from others wishing annihilation for themselves. And it is our policy to strike such targets in first come first served priority to ensure fairness.

Yours truly,
Kim “the Donger” Jong-un