Just one, just someone to love me, ask how my day was, wipe my tears when i cry, give me a hug and tell me its going to be ok. But i don’t have anyone. Not one person has said “how are you today”, not a single “are you ok”. It’s like i don’t exist. I wish i didn’t. I don’t want to live like this. I wish, so much, that i could just go to sleep and not wake up. Ever. Why can’t we just choose that? Why can’t we just decide, enough is enough, and flip a switch to off? Why does it […]
I Couldnt cry out the pains,,i couldnt change my ugly reflection in the mirror,i couldnt make anybody love me,couldnt stop myself from probating in college,..couldnt heal myself or change my mental state…i know of all what i cant do..but if there s hope in christ,then my life is all his from now onward..with him i could wake up and instead of worrying about what the day may bring i wld jumb off my bed read my bible and after glossing over his promises i am off to the new day
So I was talking to someone the other day and she said that writing letters to people helped her get over her hatred and depression…so yea. I’m gonna write a few letters….
Some of them might be vicious, others may be gracious and kind…but we’ll see after I write them.
Dear Austin,
It’s been 8 months since we started dating.
Remember in the beginning, how it was so easy and carefree? We were on the top of the world. No one could stop us…but of course, they tried. When they told us we couldn’t be together, we did it anyway.
And now look at the trouble we’re […]
Finals time.
At the beggining of the semester I thought “this semester will be different, I will be able to focus, I will be able to pass the subjects.”
A few months later, and nothing changed. It’s still the same old shit. I haven’t found the strenght to change.
4/5 exams are done. 3 of which I didn’t pass (one of them I didn’t even finish the exam, left halfway through it). My last grade is out. But I am too afraid to go check it. I know I have failed it. But to see that I in fact did, will throw me down for sure. I know […]
I’m back for a short while, is anybody I know still here
no ones here for me anymore, no cares, what do i do when im thinking these things
So i was a happy girl, and i had friends, best-friends infact, i was chubby and proud, and never wore make up and honestly could’nt care less..and then when it hit year 9 everything changed, i got fed up of the ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ comments, and could’nt take it anymore, i went on the laptop alot and looked on websites like tumblr, but more importantly i looked at blogs like thinsperation. Â At first i just looked but never did anything, and then i started to starve myself in crave of a thigh gap and collar bones. I stopped eating completely and gave up on food. […]
Listen to breathe me by sia and youll cry. If that is you understand my pain. Which you dont. I want to cry so badly, but i cant cry anymore. I love you. Dear mom there is no way you could have stopped me.Dear dad you caused me to origianlly be depressed. Dear chazz i love you. You are the first person i cried for in over 2 years. I dont want to live another moment unless I can live it with you. But I know who you care about and ir isnt me. So Goodbye. Because you were my last love. Because i cry […]
I’ve decided to go to work today. I haven’t been there since Tuesday. I woke up today so sore and stiff that it took me 15 minutes to pry myself out of bed. My head hurts, and once again I was unable to eat anything. That makes it two days without a decent meal..
I feel my anxiety kicking in. Although I’ve worked there for over a year. I know my staff very well, and I get along with each and every one of them. I have multiple repeat customers that I am able to talk to. Life, and weather, and entertainment. I like my job. […]
I’m doing my personal project on suicidal awareness, and real cause of it. I’m trying to get people understand that this isn’t just a phase, it’s real. I need a couple stories, so please message me some? I could use video stories, writing stories, or you can call me and tell me your story. I want people to understand. Message me ? Naiomyhernandez@gmail.com
I’m 29 inches in height. That’s not a joke. To visualize, I look similar to the current Guiness holders for shortest man & woman. I was abandoned by my parents.
They only raised their normal statured children.
I’m passed from one relative to another on a 2 weeks regular basis. They hate me. They only treat me as a charity work.
I’m bullied emotionally & physically in school so I was forced to dropped out. There’s no special school for a freak like me. I can’t get any jobs even the lowest paying ones.
Employers always tell me I’m bad for company image. Heightism is the most […]
You saw my face as i opened my eyes
witch fled with tears as I began to cry
who knew it turn to sleepless nights
wishing you were here to say goodnight
I never thought you would leave me so
becuse it made me want to make the final blow
to end my life and dance with eternity
but i still wish you were here with me
becuse i miss you so and i know you know
that your boy misses his daddy
Im sick of it. I have no way to let my feelings out. The shower is my sanctuary. Its the only place where im able to cry and just be one with my feelings, rather than have to hide them and be falsely cheery all the time. Now thats gone too. My brother times my showers every day, and he always tells mum and dad. Now they’re angry at me and i have nowhere to go to. Please someone… help… i have nothing that can lift me out of depression now…
I don’t know what to do. Here is my story in a nutshell:
I dated the love of my life starting in 1996. She was made for me. We were in sync from the start. I grew more and more attached the more I tried keeping her at bay. I ended up loving her more than anything I could imagine.
I met her during our Minnesota State Fair in August of 1996. She was fascinating and I made her laugh. The stars were aligned when I was late to meet up with her the next day. However, things worked out. We were teenagers in love. Every weekend we […]
Ive been well for 3 months and not had suisidal thoughts my mood medicine has kicked in and I’m in a good space it has taken two years of struggle and I recall I was wanting to jump off a cliff on a mountain around about this time.im glad I choose to live.ive attempted suiside some 13 times and ive desided to let it go now.ive met some awesome people on this site I’m going to be ok afterall!and I hope everyone on this page gets to a level that is good for them…well you actually how is everyone else?
I read about how suicidal urges and depression don’t have to coincide, and how just getting it all out to someone verbally is cathartic enough to sort of treat suicidal people. I’d like an outlet like that to exist online where it doesn’t feel like screaming into miles of empty cyberspace. Is this is what we’ve been looking for?
I’m a student dealing with similar stuff to everyone else in university. I lead a very privileged life and have a very loving, protective mother (who happens to be the chief force perpetuating my existence, mostly out of internalized guilt.) I’ve struggled with eating disorders and disordered […]
The word servant means many things to me, and it also relates to how i am seen in my family. I am 14 years old, and the youngest of my family. I have two brothers who are aged 20 and 21, and mum and dad who are in their 50’s. I hate how i am treated, but i also hate myself because of that and the fact that i have no friends. People in the family treat me like they only had a 3rd child so i could be their pawn. My mum gets me to do craploads of tasks, never communicates on exactly what […]
A new little ‘mini saga’ I’m starting soon I hope. Influenced by the program ‘Notepad’ that comes regularly installed on laptops and PCs. I love the damn thing so much, I use it constantly. So simply, it makes me want to cry because it’s so simple. Anyways, this little mini saga probably won’t be updated as much as the True Story saga. This is basically when I’m really thinking of suicide, and it’s basically the ‘Suicide Note’ that I would probably write at the moment. I’m experimenting, see if it will help with the venting. If it doesn’t help, then don’t expect much from the […]
Unfortunately I won’t die from this. I’ve never cut myself purposely, at least I don’t think so. But tonight as I was holding the knife it just came over me. With all my might I stabbed myself in the wrist. Can’t remember what I was thinking… or if I was thinking anything at all.
At first there was nothing. Then it came flowing out. All the little red blood cells making their escape from the miserable prison.
Soon, very soon, I won’t just be playing around. The impulses are getting stronger, more violent. I was supposed to die 2 years ago when she died. Since then I’ve […]