i reached the point of break down,couldn’t stop myself from having this desire to bleed

i broke my promises again with everybody it seems,this fucking new year started with me cutting

ouu f don’t seem to stooop,i want to feel more pain!!

I don’t mean to sound whiny, but I hate living on this planet. I want to disappear and never come back because I wasn’t meant to be here. I fantasize about suicide often, and recently have had an urge to begin planning. I’m homosexual. I’ve realized that’s never going to change. I’ve known since I was 7. So here I am, 17 years old and realize now that I’ll have to spend the rest of my life hiding and lying to the people I love about who I am, and never be accepted or feel like I belong in this world because of my sexuality. […]

ive been trying to avoid my x for weeks.. cause i want to forget.. that i eever cared..
tonight i was talking his friend..
and
he was there.. so all my avoiding him has gone to waste.. now ive been on skype with him for about 4 hours and i know you’ll all say this is my fault.. and well i know it is.. I let him get ot me again. I wanna die. I hate this. I was planning my death tonight to. I gave my faimaly a chance to have fun with me for new years, and i gave them one last christmas […]

Hello. Happy New Year.

My depression doesn’t seem to be getting better, and I’m not sure what to do. What’s worse, it feels like I don’t want to get better. I’m scared and losing will. Advice appreciated.

I love the suicide chat. help me find it again.

and im scared. i always hate the idea of a new year. people try to sugar coat all the shit they go through and say oh ha well now i get to restart. uh no u actually dont. u dont predict the future. u dont know whats ganna happen at all. for all anyone knows it can just be shit all over again that has to cycle back to an end then restart and its an endless fucking cycle of shit. i dont want more shit ive been through enough! why cant i jump in my dads truck and just drive away. go somewhere that […]

It all can be over in a single slice. The pain, the tears, the bull shit, everything. Yet we are all still here. We are all deciding if we should take that final leap to freedom, or stay and fight in our so called hell. Sure, I’ve thought about slicing the main vein. I even put a razor to it, sliced a little, and chickened out (of course this cannot compare to those that actually do the act). All i could think about is if this was what i really wanted. What if i did slice through the artery and realized that, ‘Hey, i want […]

this year was the toughest one I have had in my life. i dropped out of college twice and was hospitalized 4 times. i have experienced the lowest points in my life this year. but i have also realized many important things. i have grown up. i have gotten closer to my husband. he is my best friend. he helps me through my illness. i have gotten closer to my church family and i am now in the beginning phases of getting real intensive treatment for my BPD. i hope that i begin to really heal this year. i am fed up of this lifestyle […]

Well, it probably voids all rules of this site to say this. But tonight, i’m going to kill myself. I’m not here to get help as such.
I’m seventeen. And it’s new year. And I’m drunk.
Although i said i’m not here for help, i won’t stop anybody who tries, because i know full well you would even if i told you not too. Because bar a few pathetic trolls here and there, each and every one of you are amazing people.
I guess, this is being written so i can feel understood for a little while. I want to speak to someone who knows […]

If I die would you cry?
Would you suddenly realize?
I was here, for you.
Can you be there for me too?
The streets right there and the forests not far, would you care if i ran in front of a car?
This cliff im on can only last so long. I think it’s time for me to fall.
and please dont think it’s all your fault.
but you never answer when i call.
You’d never help if i were to fall.
So, if i died you would’nt cry you’d just carry on with life. no mourning no sorrow well goodbye cause there will be […]

but i always find myself coming back to this site. i try my best to stay positive and be happy, but it never works out.. i also can’t seem to stay away from this site,  i always end up coming back .

anyone else feel the same?

is it time for me too go yet? can I fade away too black and disappear? I am a lack of color. I have no reason too stay everything is just black and white too me. sometimes there are hints of color but mostly there are very short and if not rare. I am sinking in to a deep dark whole of emptiness. I am sick and tired of fighting this battle. Not a single day goes by were I wish I could die…. there are those who love and care about me and that is whats keeping me here by a thread… I am […]

Its passed midnight where I am and 2013 has started. I can only say happy new year to those of you who wish to find happiness, but to people like me it signifies the beginning of a new course of hurt, heartache and that longing feeling of wanting to escape this place. I’m pretty drunk so my feelings are real right now.

To be honest when that clock hit twelve I let a tear shed, because I’m scared. I’m scared of what this year will hold and I don’t want to experience the same shit again! I honestly never thought I would make it here, but […]

So it’s basically 2013 and I give up on those new years resolution. I know I won’t follow them, and if I do it won’t last. I know the number one thing is to stop hating myself and I just can’t, not alone. Number two on my list is to get more friends, REAL friends. I hate it when people tell me to be more social, if people don’t want to hang out then I won’t hang out with them. Number 3 is to stop my habits, including cuttting. Why I hate my self is because I started comparing myself to how I […]

What ever happened to that ball of sunshine. She always cheered me up. Happy new year Sinine where ever you are.

Happy new year SP.

I wish you all luck and happiness in the year.

Ruins

Hi, my name is Ruben.
I’m only 16 years old and I’ve been thinking of suicide since I was 10. I know it’s perhaps a bit young to think in such a way but I really am convinced that I should die. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I want to try every kind of help first.

See, there lays my problem. When I search for help all I find is “talk to a friend”, well I have, And it wasn’t a great experience. I have told her everything and it helped for a while untill she got this boyfriend that started […]

Curled tightly in its iron womb
Forthcoming almost certain doom
an infant bird respires last
wretched secrets mere and vast

“To die!” it shrills “I beg you please
Take my breath and let me cease”
A chilly, silent, cheerless air
secreted by this bird’s despair

Restrained by ageless ferric bars
adorned in grisly, gaping scars
from strife and discord with its cage
and self-inflicted fiendish rage

Withered and replete of wrath
its essence walks a lonely path
Phantoms, voices beckon so
and warn of hells it dares to go

what happened to this bird I know
a tale of endless pain and woe
left in its cage to rot […]

i have gone through some serious shit this year. i swear if i have to start that again i will just give up entirely.

Jan: i was in rehab went through a lot of hell
Feb: out of rehab things getting slightly better
Mar: life was better compared to the last two months
Apr: i was losing it again
May: abuse started progressively
June: i wanted nothing but to die more and more each day. but i met my best friend which is why im here today
July: july 13: nearly died from overdose first most successful suicide attempt except u know im somehow stuck […]

Hey guys. well its 2013 now. everyone is happy making wishes for the new year and i just thought about my life all day long. nothing! cant see light anymore. i was so pissed off  i had a car accident today. i cant even think about it anymore.

Please tell me there is nothing to hold on to.