i dont know when the pain forst began, or if it ever did. maybe i was just born with it. stuck in a life where dead ends is all there ever will be. that everytime i leave it, i get something worse. its become the normal. and sometimes, well most of the time i feel like i need it. like it will always be there and i have nothing without it. it seems to me that i am inviting it, that i look for it. im always down and depressed for no reason at all. and maybe the reason is me. maybe i truely am […]
I’m such a hypocrite. I tell others not to cut.  Or not to commit suicide, when I’m over here imagining how good it would feel to see blood dripping down my arms. How much of a relief it would be to end it all. I tell my friends not to trust anyone, not even me. They always ask why and I never know what to say…but I know what I’m thinking.Even your friends can turn on you. You family even. I’ve experienced it. How great would it be just to not have to worry about anything anymore? Just disappear Like you were never here. It doesn’t even scare me […]
but got caught. if i were given 10 more minutes I would not be typing this. i am seeing a psychologist in an hour and a half and dont want to go to a hospital. i dont want to ever attempt to do it again.
any suggestions?  please??
Does anyone else on here have PMDD (premenstrual dysmorphic disorder)? It’s ruined my life for the past fifteen years. Or does anyone else have anorexia and/or binge eating disorder? I’d like to hear your story and how it makes you feel.
So I heared ketamin works pretty well… I can imagine MDMA will also be amazing, but I’d like to get some more information. I’ve done MDMA.not as antidepressant but as party drug. The plus side of MDMA is the way you feel… loved, one, amazing and on top of the world, for three days. The down side is: your memory gets fucked up, you need to take vitamin c too protect the brain and after 3 days you get this huge downwards spiral… It was probably the worst in my life.
So I have 2 questions for you;
1. What kind of antipressents/SSRI/drugs do you use for […]
You know, I’m married to a wonderful man.
But all good people have a limit too. They will shut down also if they are constantly bombarded with negativity, bad bosses, bad coworkers, shitty clients, shitty company policy, problems in the home, depressed & suicidal wife….
I think him and my kids are the only reason I haven’t done anything. That and how outsiders will view them if I did anything to bring them down. They can not experience what I have in my past. Not them. Please not them.
But when I’m alone, I want it all to end.
I’m tired of being sick. Physically and mentally tired of being sick. Some […]
i cant do it anymore… today was the last straw!
Once again, I talk to you about how I hate myself, in finer detail through several posts i shall write.l. Im 14, for those of you hear who arent teenagers im sure you remember (or have heard) the socially akward, the classification of people, the need to be in, the primitive yet complex popularity scale. Its all very interesting, but I feel like I really dont fit in to anything. The truth is, im just plain weird (not to mention unpopular, ugly, awkward, etc.) I really dont know how to handle myself in any given situations. Example: Tonight at youth, instead of engaging in conversation […]
Tired of life.  I see many people who don’t want to live, but they somehow look strong. They are moving  around and trying to  find something attractive. Maybe I should try to find the way which may help me to  understand  that life isn’t so bad as it looks. Maybe I will be able to forget how lonely I am… that feeling sucks. Especially  when there are  so many people around me..
Please contact me my sunflower. I need to talk to you and just hear from you!
I have been struggling with this for a long, long time. Suicide, the word that is there all the time, something I can’t get out of my mind. I know exactly who I am, and what I am going to be if I don’t end this. I’m just an ignorant, ugly, fat, useless waste of air, and that’s exactly what I am going to be for the rest of my life if I dont stop it right now.
I’ve tried everything: I’ve tried to be positive, I’ve tried religion, I’ve tried to have friends, to talk with my family. Nothing works, it seems like I’m some […]
Over years I have been abused, neglected, and heart-broken. Again, I thought it was just another night, I thought I had a loving girlfriend that would keep me going even when I was down. I was wrong in the fact that she talked about other men constantly. Saying how they hugged better than me, how they understood who she really was, and how I wouldn’t be as good as them. She kept talking about this one guy, and wouldn’t stop talking about him. While doing this, she expected me not to get jealous or angry. I did get jealous and told her I don’t enjoy […]
My chest hurts. Everything from my chest up hurts, stressed. This guy i was dating for three months let me go cuz he disnt think he could try the distance thing anymore. He lives two hrs away and did well at seeing me every 2 weeks on the weekends and now he just couldnt believe in us anymore. Things were so great i was falling for him and he was for me too. I feel like im not worth anything. Im not worth it. Ive had so many relationships that now i feel that no one will love me. I have no one. I moved […]
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
Dorothy makes a fair few valid points I feel!
Still, I have, and still do at times, have those desolate moments, hours, days, weeks etc etc. A very good friend of mine killed himself a few weeks ago. It’s grim and it’s grim and it’s grim. Miss him like mad. I want to tell him so, but I can’t as he’s dead. Has brought home to me all too clearly the pointlessness of self appointed death. It can’t be undone, those […]
I want to die, I wish I could find my pills and OD on them but I know how much it would hurt the ones who love and care about me. I am feeling very suicidal right now, but every time I reach for the pills I know how much it would hurt those who love me I just do not have enough energy too really keep going. Its only a matter of time before I’m gone <3
There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown who couldn’t wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. […]
So it is awfully shitty to take a pre test online for ajob and realize u cannot even begin to do the math on the sample questions,,, how scvrewed up is that? its simple percents and iam not able to do that so i feel quite defeated right now!! as if i could think yself better~na not happening in this lifetime\1 SUCKS TO B ME!
About 5 years ago my youngest sister was molested by my “mothers” husband. She was only 7 years old at the time and I was 11. As you could imagine I didn’t know what to think at the time. If the claim was true or not, I wasnt there. Of course she told her schools guidance counselor, she needed to tell someone. Next thing I knew, some lady from social services picked me up from school and not knowing what was going on I asked her if she knew. Til this day I really have no idea why she got all in my face about […]
I’m almost 14 years old and I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve always had a good life. Protected, secure. Always a good student and had a lot of friends. In December of 2011 I started cutting I stopped after 3 months. I felt alone even when I wasn’t. Myy life was in great shape for awhile. But all of a sudden I’ve started feeling alone, I’ve cried myself to sleep and the worst part is no one in a million years would even guess that I would feel this way. I recentley fell in love with my best guy friend. My parents are splitting up and my friends […]
As I sit in a room by myself I cant help but think of what happened that night. Begging for you not to over and over again. but you insisted. I was scared all along but suddenly my fear became reality. I was trying not to scream  so your family wouldn’t wake up. It hurt. you knew it. I cried and cried laying there feeling like trashy. I still do. I feel gross and am still scared. I wish it didn’t happen, but it did.