pills in the pocket

a letter in the other

a premonition of death

about a girl with a bag in the back door

or was it her sister who the neighbor saw?

This may sound really stupid, but, please, try to think like me for a second.

My birthday was like three or four days ago. I made a post about it but most of you cared only about the religious debate that it brought. Anyway, the day before my birthday my bird escaped and I’m destroyed. He was my only friend (can you believe it?), all I have and I really love him. I think he’s dead. I am really hurt about this, I’ve lost loved ones before, but I’ve never cried like this. I’ve been crying for 3 days in a row.

Shit, my “friends”, those assholes, […]

where I live I hardly meet people with my taste in music
I like THE Smiths while they like christina aguilera,
I guess it’s my age?
I like songs like “flowers”-psychedelic furs all the way to “i bleed”-pixes
in sleep overs I just bump up these kinds of bands/songs and I don’t know…any one suggest thins I might like?
to “what do I get”-buzzcocks

Please don’t take these words as something Holy, because EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. MAKES. MISTAKES. I’m just talking about my experiences and what I’ve learned from chatting with other people. You don’t have to take my advices like it’s the Holy Bible.

BULLYING

First you need to understand what exactly bullying is.

It is a subject we’ve all been subjected to. Whether verbal or physical. You must understand, though, that bullying can have serious repercussions in the future. If anyone uses force or words to abuse, intimidate or otherwise make you really uncomfortable, then that’s bullying. You could be bullied from sexuality to your hair colour – if people […]

I remember who i was before i met him. How perfect things were, well close to it anyway. The days i said drugs were something i wouldn’t ever do. The days i had friends, and well, a life. I still do have one, but i feel dead inside. So dead i no longer sleep. So dead i can’t eat. So dead, my heart can’t feel anymore because it is so numb. I’m afraid to think sometimes because my thoughts are no longer happy. As a matter of fact, i don’t remember the feeling of real happiness. I wish people cared. I wish my own parents […]

I’m 27 years old. Never had a girlfriend, never held a girl’s hand, never kissed, never had sex. I’ve been unemployed for nearly a year. I’ve have a couple friends, but do’t interact with them very frequently. I’ve been overweight my whole life. Even in toddler pictures I’ve seen of myself, I was heavy. Theres no where to go in family, at least whats left of it. None of them have any idea about career or goals or physical/mental health. I’ve thought about killing myself before. The reasons why I didn’t do it were unrealistic fantasies. Maybe one day I’ll……….or I could be such a good………..Its over. […]

Mum, This family is broken, it’s all your fault, you were never the mother I needed, and it’s way too late to fix it.

Dad, You were always honest with me, always treated me like an adult, but sometimes there are things you don’t tell your little girl, ’cause they could very well break her heart.

Big brother, You always put on a happy face, and say family means everything to you, but when it comes down to it, when I actually need you, you aren’t there.

Sister, We never got along, but I always looked up to you nonetheless, but now I see you’re just as sad […]

I live in isolation 24.7 for years and years and years. I made a post on here last year about my life and it is exactly the same.  Try having nobody to talk to every morning day and night, day after day after month after year. I have been through so called therapy and it was fucking pathetic bullshit, ive been in mental hospital twice and it made me worse because there was zero care and it was all fucking screwed up and pathetic. I am done now I cannot take anymore. I cant even find a job and so have nothing to leave the […]

Why should I try if I get bullied everyday of my damn life…Why should I try if my family just loves talking down to me.. Why should I try when… I dont even have the love of my life with me.. Cody He was/Is the love of my life . He had passed away in May 11,2011 He was the one for me. I love him with all my beatin gheart theres not ONE* Person in this world who could replace him. Hes The one I want.. I wanna just die sometimes cause of the way I feel majority of the time when I dont […]

Everything is meaningless anyway.  I don’t want to live  in this world with these things I’m supposed to call my kin.  Have fun trying to convince me that I’m wrong or not to do it,  because I’ve heard it all before.

I just need to suppress my survival instincts and I’m fucking out of here.

I will not be sending it to him. Igot ALOT of responses not to and they all gave really really good reaaons why I should not. So thank you to chose that helped!

Well its my 3rd time researching ways to go. Just now I found the helium alternative wich sounds good.

as the title says im 27 I studied a diaploma of filmmaking but dont work on films, i record weddings and social events onces every few months. My parents pay all my expenses. I feel regret on not having studied a career. I could be working at a normal Job, and having a normal life.
Today I felt bad because my dad (who is not my real dad) Im son of a man who my mother has sex with who i dont […]

I’ve got so much going for me, yet so much against me.

At least technically I’ve still got time on my side considering I’m only 18.

Simply going about living feels like a contradiction because somehow I’ve almost come to encapsulate everything it is that I hate.

Fighting to  live just feels like senseless “double-think” sometimes.

I swear I was making progress, maybe I still have, but right now it sure doesn’t matter.

I’ve got a sense of overwhelming confidence that time will heal me but have despair of the same magnitude.

It’s extremely painful cause I can acknowledge that there’s immense beauty in the world but I’m to ugly to […]

There is literally nothing good about me.  I need to be disposed of.

I’ve known a lot of suffering in my life.

I’ve been bullied by my peers, emotionally abused by my father, betrayed and abandoned by close friends, raped, had my heart broken and ripped to shreds, been told countless lies by those I trusted. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, cutting, ADD, anorexia, bulimia, social phobias, self-hatred, schizophrenia, paranoia, and constant thoughts of suicide. Aside from emotional difficulties, I am in constant physical pain due to TMJ disorder, scoliosis, muscle spasms, and chronic migraines.

Yes, I’m still here. I’ve survived all of it, I cope with the notion that pain is my constant companion – that even when my […]

Yup, when life is depressing, one eats and buys crap to feel better.  Sadly, this lasts o’ so briefly.  Then we feel bad for eating/buying too much crap we don’t need.  But we continue to rinse and repeat.  But hey, everything was on “sale.”

We know it’s empty and fleeting, but we can’t help but do it anyway.  I would go get something to eat, but am too lazy to make anything.  Good ol’ laziness…only thing that trumps eating…

email with your story, questions,  anything And I will  reply with advice ..I  promise !

make sure you mention this site so I know it isnot spAm.

I haven’t been eating, or sleeping properly. I introvert randomly. I’m changing and I don’t want to, my sleep patterns are irregular, on days that i actually sleep I sleep for at least 14 hours other days though I get o-2 hours. I’ts not healthy. I eat once a day. I find myself wanting to cut in the middle of the day but I can’t. I go into the stall hoping for a release but I can’t break the skin I try and I could just fine a couple of nights ago. I’m slowly losing my mind…I am happy immediately with my friends but as soon as they leave […]

Standing alone in a crowd is a way of life. I can feel a wind blowing, making its spiral dance amid the bodies, leaves drifting from nowhere to nowhere again. It’s a forest of people and I’m one tree. Roots all intertwine beneath the soil, feeding on the same poisons, the same nutrients.

There is a river nearby, but the rivers in this forest are concrete, and the fish that swim in them are mechanical things that cough smoke into the air.

The riverbed is cracking under the heat of the sun.

Paint is crumbling off houses, revealing rotting wooden planks.

They should have used vinyl siding.

It lasts longer.

Miaow.

i thought i was over being sad. i thought maybe i’d finally moved on or at least banished it to the dark recesses of my head. but it’s here and it hasn’t left. i will be the sole reason why my life will end horribly. i just can’t rid myself of this fucking anxiety and anger. i’m so angry. saw a shrink for the first time in a very long time because i feel on the verge of losing my shit on a daily basis. she thinks it’s because i’m so depressed deep down that i’m not doing anything with my life that i thought […]