I can’t stand the pain. I had thoughts of suicide long before this, for a different  reason, but now the physical pain has made it a no-brainer. It’s sad that nobody (or very few people) can understand the sheer agony I’ve been living with. When I try to explain, they just zone out. I’ve only met 1 person who has suffered from the same condition… she told me childbirth was nothing compared to this, that all she wanted to do was shoot her brains out.  She was able to get expensive surgery to fix the problem. Me, I can’t even afford the painkillers. Suicide is […]
My dad suck fucking dick!!!!!!! He’s such an asshole and all he ever does is irritate everybody . And whenever he drinks he always has something else to blame it on like its never his fault and he’s such a fucking saint, and he’s forever judging people like he’s so much better then they are, like he’s fucking perfect,,, I can’t even stand to look at his face, it revolts me and I have to control myself from hurting him, why can’t he just disappear and fuck off!!!!!!!!
I know what it’s like to self-harm. What it’s like to have the feeling of relief after a quick slice. What its like to hold that blade and feel like nothing can stop you. Trust me, I know. Thankfully, after a year and a half, I have overcome that escape. But now, I have three friends who do it. One because she gets yelled at by her mom. One with absolutely no reason to whatsoever. And the other because of a boy.
Im sorry, but there’s no fucking reason to do it if there’s nothing wrong. No reason at all. It angers me so much that […]
If you want my past look at previous posts.
I choked a lot and now its really making me forget, I’m gonna try to not do it anymore though. If I can since I don’t want to end up brain dead yet. Or forget any more of my memories, its hard enough trying to remember shit. I noticed that Stacey girls post and thought “the desperate teens are here” and its crazy how media fucks us up. I am fascinated with guns and really wanna join the army. There are girls blackmailing their boyfriends cuz they are leaving and getting themselves pregnant to stay together forever. […]
I’m always thinking if i ever go crazy, what would be the thing that makes me crazy. This seems like it’s getting there, and that is making me close…what would it be? When will i get crazy?
What would be the thing that makes me suicide. I’ve tried once in high school, and it was from a fight with a staff, thinking that i’ll make the staff regret for yelling at me, and go to the hospital and make the thing big. But i know that it’s from things that build up with my other friend. But i was saved…
now what would be the […]
Ever have one of those days where you just want to smash every goddamn thing, take it and burn it?
I’d like the earth to spiral into the sun.
Nuclear holocaust.
Zombie apocalypse.
I don’t give a shit what happens; it’s the end result I’m concerned with.
I haven’t been on here in a while, it’s been about 2 months and in those 2 months I’ve been content with myself, I’m not anymore I don’t even know why. There’s pretty much all new people on here since I’ve been. on I haven’t seen one person I remember. Not saying its bad just differen. I am sad though that idk what happened to those people. I remeber a girl named Sophie that would post random thoughts, I really liked those.
I don’t really know what to write. Don’t really even know why I’m here. Well lets start off by saying I’ve been depressed for ATLEAST a year. I don’t honestly really even have a reason, I just want to leave this cold world and never have to deal with anything or anyone again. Well last saturday, like a week ago me and my mom went to dinner with her ex and a boy he works with, we kept smiling ar each other, and were throwing ice at each other. And then afterwards we went to the movies, held hands the whole time and gave me a big hug […]
Yes. It’s been a hard week for me; My dog of 4 years was hit by a car? What an asshole, They didn’t even stop.. Mann I’m gunna miss that little dog; My father thinks its his fault.. When he wasn’t even there..
– I’m back at the point where I could give 2 fucks about guys.. I’m tired of it.. Here goes more of my rant..
I’m back to the drugs.. Don’t you see what you’ve been doing to me? Are you just playing with my mind.. Acting like you want me all over again after 2 months with her? I sometimes think […]
I am rounded
like letters formed
by a fading pen
with a loopy hand
that indulges itself
because circles
are without jagged edges
or at least they pretend to be
but if you look closely at those letters
you may notice that
(like me)
the edges are perhaps
not as smooth and circular
as they pretend
to be.
Sorry.
I try and try, but whatever I do I screw up. It’s always my fault. I’m tired of trying to act like myself, I know I’m falling into a hole an I’m so scared. Im talking less and less buy know one is noticing. You know why be asue none cares I’m just taking up space! Im not even trying anymore to put up a act.
I feel shitty ad ugly every single day! I’m not happy in this life anymore.
Well I’m giving up. I can’t take it. Just when things look up I go right back down. Tonight may be my last. Fuck off world I love you jesus
im sorry mom dad and Josie and all my family. I still love all of you after death
I’ve just cut myself for the first time,and now I feel like shit,but also kinda relieved.
I’ve never been someone to be sad. My Lifes been great as a kid and I’ve had amazing oppurtunaties to travel within the states ,but my sixth grade year begun my bullying. Im not sure why but I’m a target. I’ve been called terrible names, I’ve been asked to off myself, I’ve been told that I’m no good. I began to cut myself. That was a mistake. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a great group of friends and they gave me a ton of hope. I realized all I had to do was find that group. I’m genuinely greatful for those whom have helped […]
Tired of this life, this shit, the same struggle, the same fight over and over, same feelings, always worthless, always pathetic, never good enough! It’s exhausting. So why can’t I cut? I can’t be that painful. A few quick slices and its done, oblivion, and yet I can’t do it, I can’t even scratch myself. Plenty of you self harm yet I can’t even nick myself with the scalpel. Just. One. Little. Cut. It can’t. Be that difficult, can’t hurt that much, can’t possibly hurt as much as this shitty life does. So why can’t I do it??? I just don’t want to do this […]
Yes, it’s been a couple of months since I got to the absolute depths of despair. And yes, I’m still here.
I’ve had a couple of pretty big circuit-breakers in my life that blocked the exits for me: a new job and a relocation to a small town about 3 hours away from where I used to live. The new job is great; living alone in a new town has allowed me some breathing space. However, I still see the family most weekends.
Something else I did was approach my doctor to discuss my issues, mainly under the insistence of others that I do so. He seemed […]
I’m lost. I can’t be found. I don’t know who or what I am. If you ask me two years ago who and what I was I could’ve told you. Now I can’t even begin to wonder. The relaxing thoughts now don’t even dare to step into my mind and it makes me rather sad. At least something made me relaxed and I miss the thoughts. I want them back. I’m done with my pills because even though I may be getting better nothing else is. I’m not strong. I can’t live life. Like I said, life is a test to see who’s strong enough […]
I’m in so much pain, my stomach hurts, my chest hurts and ohh my head is killing me.
God i really don’t know what happen. I used to be the girl who never had a negative bone in her body and now am a girl who just want an escape.
I never meant to brake my promise to her. i said i would sleep over and have the best Christmas with my best friend, especially since she was having some problems at home and things were finally getting better again.
I FORGOT OKAY!!! and the worst part of forgetting was that […]
i kind of want somebody to know, please dont give me hate for this. a few years ago, i got this boyfriend… everything was perfect, like honestly amazing! sure, we had fights and stuff, but it was everything i could have wished for… and more! unfortunately… a few months in i started having troubled at home with my parents, and i slipped into depression and cutting myself. the short story of my parents was that my mum pushed me in every direction… she’s an absolute control freak, and it terrifies me. this made her and my dad start fighting, till they nearly split up. yeah, […]
I’ve been on this site before and took a pretty long break. A lot of stuff has happened, but I’ve decided to probably end my life sometime today. I’ve been suffering from severe depression since I was twelve and have had suicidal thoughts every day since then. I’ve tried to live for others but I don’t have a will to live anymore. I tried to die multiple other times as a child and carried the pain around me for a long time, no treatments have worked and it hurts to wake up everyday so I’m going to finally liberate myself through death. If you want […]