i love my life….  wait no i dont. im far from loving my life. i have no reason that makes me happy anymore. i am dumb when it comes to school. i always get put down, people saying i will never get anywehere in life. people saying im a waste of space and air. i want to call it quits on life. i wanna call it quits on everything.

Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)

I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.

I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]

For the last 5 years i have been feeling like my life lead me to the middle of nowhere. I become more invisible day by day  and others care less and less about my presence. You might say its because i don’t communicate or interact with world, but no, it would not be true. It is just because i just don’t fit in, and my attempts are noticed just for a short time and i always end up alone and disappointed. No matter how funny or talkative  i am for one moment in the next one i am just gone. It seems others make friends […]

I have the worst fucking headache ever. 🙁

Today during first lesson, I got this amazing feeling. Y’know, That feeling of ‘everything is going to be okay’? Well, it’s gone now. It’s been replaced with hopeless despair and the slight sickening thoughts of ‘This could all be over’ are slowly creeping into my mind and taking over. I’m afraid of being alone.. I’m really afraid. I don’t want to be alone…

I really want to have something new to say, But I don’t. I have nothing. Same old shit about this broken toy that you’ve all read before.

My OCD is getting worse, A fuck load worse. And […]

What do you want?

Life can be very difficult, I know how bad it can get, The pain of losing someone is second to none. If you know that pain then i am truly sorry for you. How about that I’m starting to tear up in a public internet cafe in Delhi, and i already kind of stick out!!

Things that have helped me, I mediated three times a day, it is an amazing stress release and it helps me loads, I try to surround myself in friends and new people. Do not hide away, sometimes you need to be alone, but do not linger, loneliness breads depression […]

In a fleeting glance I look normal. I have two great kids under 7. I volunteer at school, teach a after school art class, president of PTA. I cook wholesome and tasty meals, bread and cookies to die for. My husband is a physics professor and we have been married 10 years.
I scrapbook, write, read and jog/bike. I meditate and do yoga. Until three months ago I also worked 3 jobs, most at night when kids were asleep or at school so I could be home with the kids. I did play dates, taught my children French and sign language.
Then one night I […]

right now, I want to die. I dont know what to do, this seems like bull shit.

I honestly cant take this anymore i dont feel like im worth enough to get up every day and pretend that im happy and ok just because no one around me understands my situation. I hate carrying on through all the pain and hoplessness. I have come close to commiting suicide numerous times and actually attempted it a couple times. I even have gone so far as to write a suicide note. I feel worthless and when i look into the future i dont see myself in it. I am not worth enough to keep fighting for something I’ll never acheive… nothing is worth fighting […]

I am not me.

I am. I live in the moment. Forgetting my past is easy, probably thanks to my screwed up neural wiring. I know my story. I lived it. But looking back is like reading pages from a book.
I’m detached. I am not who I was. I’m reading lines from Shakespear. This horrible tragedy befell the main character, followed by many smaller tragedies, but they’re not even memories in most cases. The few things I can remember clearly remain vivid, but only a few still carry pain with them. So why am I here?
I can’t remember the past, but I can feel […]

I got out of bed earlier, made and poured myself a hot cup of tea.
As I stirred my tea gently and slowly, my mind began to percieve it as a pattern..sort of a beat.
Swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..
Words began to play like a song in my head..in a really soft high-pitched voice

Sharp knives and blood
Like sugar and tea
Sweetly come together to comfort me
End the suffering now
turn out the lights
Death is not so bad
Take your life
Take your life
Take your life
Take your worthless life

This was replayed twice until I was jolted out of the lullaby by the sound my phone […]

ughhhhhh!!!!!!! one of my best friends texted me saying: “i really love you” and guess what…just another guy i cant TRULY have cuz this guy lives in california! and i just had to move away to idaho! ugh…FUCK LOVE….

when people disappear mysteriously with no trace of where they went so i stopped in to say goodbye. no wondering

So sometimes when I’m feeling all depressed and stuff and I start writing things down to post like on tumblr or whatever. I’ll write half of it and like think about it then cry. Then after I cried im just not in that “sad” mood anymore to finish what I wrote. I was wondering if this happens to anyone else?

i swear i breathe through my scars, so often i hold my breath til they’re open.

that sigh,

the deep breath.

that relief…

if ending it feels like that, i don’t know why i’m afraid.

A friend of mine found out today that I have started cutting again and well he doesn’t like that. I tried to make him understand that I’ve tried to stop but it’s hard. Now he won’t really talk to me I think he’s mad. He probably does have the right to be I’ve lied over and over again. I’m not sure what to do I really don’t want to loose him. Any suggestions???

i can’t believe it, i’ve lost the only thing i’ve ever enjoyed in life and he through it all away. i gave him everything and he pays me back by ripping my heart out. All my friends have “dropped” me. All i’ve got now is my sister and even then she doesn’t care. I’m just so over it all so this is me. Saying bye. i’m so sorry to who i have caused pain to but. in the end no one was ever really there, i get laughed at, at school and im so pardon my french but im so fucking over it. bye.

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before and people continue to disappoint them.”

Hello.

I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.

My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.

I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school,  so far the hardest year of my life.

There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.

My Brain

The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]

So I just qot off the phone with my old bestfriend,I miss her!!!!!I wanna qive her the biqqest huq!!!So I told her about Teenqirl and this site.I told her to click my name and read my posts If she wants to know the real me.After readinq my embarrassinq Wrestlemania post,out of nowhere she starts cryinq and tells me “why would you do that?”Why would you cut your self?”She saw the cuttinq picture that I have.I couldn’t really say anythinq cause my friend was riqht next to me so I told her I’ll call her back.Her reaction made me feel horrible like fuck I should just […]