I am planning to use the helium method as an exit plan. The tank will come from walmart, tubing from a hardware store, large oven bag from the grocery store, and I’ve got the tape and drawstring. I am an unemployed teacher of 26 years experience and have been reduced to food stamps and community handouts since my unemployment stopped. Tried meds and antidepressants along with counseling – both group and individual and feel I have run out of time, money, patience, and will to want to see the next day. I stay locked inside my home unless I go to forced events such as getting food, […]
Listen to “When I’m gone – Eminem”
{Chorus}
And when I’m gone,just carry on, don’t mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I’m looking down on you smiling
And I didn’t feel a thing So baby don’t feel no pain
Just smile back
I can’t help but think, that could be me saying those final words …
something i wrote today. i tried to give it some sense, cuz i wrote it in portuguese. stay safe everyone.
the past echoes in the present, like a blade, that gives meaning to the wounds of a lifetime. the same life that has been lost in time, in the vividness of the moment, reliving stories of sweat, passion and blood. covered in dust and musty smell. the reality, tinged with darkness and despair, which tends, not wanting to exist, suffocated by tears and heart panting. the lack of words, that erodes the essence of knowledge, and the longing that shatters every moment and becomes suffering. yes […]
Hello my fellows, you lovely miserable wretches! Let me take this opportunity to tell you something about myself.
I’m a writer with a volatile past of drinking and episodes of severe depression. I’ve recently been sober for nearly a week, and have begun a regimen of anti-depressant medication which seemingly succeeds only in making it difficult to  attain a lasting erection. It’s all pretty fun.
The reason I’m writing here, is because I’ve sworn not to drink, and yet its absence makes me think of quite literally blowing my brains out with a pistol. I’ve always expected an early and likely violent death. It’s a choice now between drinking myself to […]
The only real relationship I’ve had is with the depression I’ve found myself entangled in for the past 7 years, and in those years have arisen many suicide tales.
The most resent addition was set in the earlier hours of todays Tuesday morning, after a clockwork argument with a family member about my self-absorption (expressed in a lack of a smile).
I fall into a routine of thinking maliceful thoughts directed at others and then towards yours truly, only this time, rather than reaching for the first sharpest instrument I could find to whittle my flesh with, I instead came to a conclusion that had left me […]
My job is so stressful that i am seriously always thinking about suicide. I cant leave my job because i have applied EVERYWHERE and no where is hiring so i have to get money to pay for gas somehow so i have to keep my job and its killing me. when i even think about my job even right now as i am typing this i want to break down in tears, throw up, and kill myself all at the same time. I just want to let out a long loud scream and ball my eyes out. I hate my job and it makes me […]
I want to die, but I honestly don’t know why. I have an average life, I guess. My father left our family when I was just a baby, and I never got to know him. Since then, my mom has been through a long trail of boyfriends.
One of her first boyfriends did something horrible to me. I don’t remember exactly how old I was. I went to counseling when it happened, and now, at age 14, i’m in counseling again. When I was 11 or 12, I went through this big phase where I never wanted to go to school. I hated school, and I […]
Let me just tell you, I’ve had a hard past. But, I’m not going into major detail right now. Let’s just say, my whole family were drug addicts, and alchoholics. I’ve been sexually abused many times. I’ve been also physically abused.
I’m diagnosed with so much bull crap that it makes my life completely difficult to go on.
Examples?
Hypothyroidism? I’m fat as hell. It also made me borderline diabetic. I’ve also been diagnosed with bipolar, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, psychosis, and that’s really all I can remember. So much medication, doctors, counselors..I’m tired of it.
I’m in constant physical, and emotional pain. And I’ve tried this three other times, […]
Hey guys!(:
How has everything been with all u. Everyone else should come first.
Just want to let u guys know I have been helping young people like me fight suicide self injury and anything else they need me for!(: wow I just hope you all doing amazing
Now my turn to share I have been very suicidal but im fighting it!(: one day at a time. U just feel like if I tell all my problems I wont be able to help u guys
Anyone if somethings wrong feel free to emil me
Schneiderang@apsfalcons.net
And will you stop the hurt?
I have been feeling so Suicidal for a long time now. It’s been on and off for years now and I always believe that may fate is die by killing myself. My suicidal thoughts have been so intense lately and all I can think about is jumping off a bridge near me. I feel so lost and the world around just doesn’t feel the same any more. I just need to escape and feel at peace.
thought they might make sumone smile i think animals are the closest thing to perfection, they just are what they are. blackones lucy, other one is branston. i might put a picture of the one with 3 legs tommorow.
One song can change my point of view about life completely. I may be completely down and helpless. I’ll listen to “Tinie Tempah – Invincible”. And I’ll suddenly have a rush of hope. When I’m in a good mood, I’ll listen to “Rihanna – Cry” for example and I’ll feel down and helpless again. I guess there’s a hidden feeling behind certain songs …
I really hope I don’t bsck out… I’ll be pissed if I wake up in my bed tomorrow…
I’ve been struggling with Bipolar for almost two years. I am searching for the right meds because I NEED to stay alive for my children. But last night something different happened. My family was not home, I was incredibly sad, and I took an entire bottle of Ativan and Seroquel….washed down by a bottle of wine. I don’t remember doing it.
This morning I woke up extremely groggy, empty pill bottles on my nightstand next to a framed photo of my grandmother. There was also a note which simply read “I am so very sorry.”
I would have wanted to say so […]
“Everything’s gonna be okay”, I soothe myself.
I calm myself down
Say I just have to give it time
I convince myself that all scars heal
I wipe away a teardrop
It’s a black teardrop
I think that I’ve lost hope
I don’t know yet
I say it’s okay
“Tomorrow will be better” I tell myself
Only this time,
I choose not to believe my lies anymore
I choose not to get back up, for now
I feel tackled
I feel cold
I feel defeated
As I watch my black tear drops fall
thats how my life feels like. im dangling off a cliff with one hand barely holding on…i can hardly push myself back up. sooner or later im letting go.
I posted on here a while ago. Thing’s have gotten worse. My doctor has basically told me nothing can be done to help me. I have major treatment resistant depression. I have had it for over 10 years. My doctor suggested i come off all medication as it is not helping me. I am going through the worst withdrawls and he doesn’t care. He wont help me unless i see him again and pay him a ridiculous amount of money. I only saw him fairly recently and am only due to see him in 3 weeks. He refuses to talk to me on the phone. […]
okay so i think it started when i was in kindergarden. i didnt talk, at all. i knew how to and understood everything but i was just toooo embarrassed to. i was able to talk to some people one on one but never in a group. all i really did was nod, shrug or point. i got ovr it when i started high school, i was teased a lot and people would say im mute. it really took a toll in school, i wsnt able to do group projects or presentations or anything that involved talking to people. people ask me why and i honestly […]
Has anyone ever seen @suicide room I feel like it reminds me of the people here a little actualy its what got me here and I’m glad it did this site has already started helping me it’s nice to finally let something out to someone who understands. I would recommend this movie to almos everyone here :/
I am not suicidal. Well, I haven’t been for a while anyway. Lately I have actually been enjoying my life for the most part. I’m dirt poor but I have a girlfriend whom I love and we’re working on just improving our quality of life. So that’s nice.
However, While I am not suicidal, I do have an almost constant anxiety waiting for something to end. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be waiting for though. I know it isn’t my life. I know a lot of people look at suicide as a path towards relief, but it doesn’t look that way to me.
If I […]