:'(

I just wanted to say that I think each and every one of you are perfect even if you dont see it.  I love you. If you need someone msg me bestrongdarling@hotmail.com. Ill be your helpline & give me ur tumblr and ill follow youu . I know things may suck right now, but they have the ability to get better.

My ex boyfriend abused me, hit me, raped me. I deserved it right?

I need sumone so bad rite now! It hurts so bad! I can’t stop crying… I need a fucking gun! But if you could read my last post it would be easier to understand.

As I sit here reading all of the post about this beautiful girl who took her own life my heart is breaking. It is true that none of us know how much our death will effect other people! Recently I struggled with the thought of ending my life and I am so glad that I didn’t! My heart aches for her family and friends and all those here that knew and had grown to care about her deeply! Kallie I hope you finally found peace! I wish that something could have been done for you!

I also hope all of you that are hurting can find […]

im everything thats wrong

and nothing that is right

she tells me im ugly

and i would never become anything

i am worthless to her

but she still keeps me…

as if i was her toy

her little stress doll

just being constricted by her very own

pain

it fucken kills me to know

that my own mother is ashamed of me

i have apoligized to her many times before

for being me..

i can’t get fucken through this

everything she ever told me is still in my head

because of her

i hurt myself before

and i still struggle not to hurt myself today

i convince myself everyday

that there are people out there

hurting more than i do

kids

who suffer without doing anything to deserve it

im […]

Like a couple others I received an e-mail from Kallies sister Kamryn this evening. Kallie killed herself last night after posting a final note on here.  My heart is so broken and discouraged.  I only knew her through here and e-mail but I feel priveledged to have been able to get to know her. She was so funny and had a wonderful personality.  She felt so much pain and hurt in her short 15 years of life. My prayers are with her family and loved ones. I know that she is missed more than she ever thought possible.

Kallie,

Babygirl I would give anything to receive another […]

I have travelled the world and done things most people wouldnt have the guts to do. Currently on a full on adventure, have been for 7 months. I dont give a fuck though, I am still bored, I am still the same useless fucking wanker, I will never be able to be normal like the rest of you. If there is a god, give me the strength to finally just die.

…so I’m stuffing my face with food to comfort myself.  Sadly, this comfort is so short-lived, while the bad feeling is so constant…

I’ve kept so many journals. I’ve tried so hard to keep it together.

And my mind goes up and down, up and down, just like a roller coaster.

I’m fine, no I’m not.

It’ll get better, no it won’t.

And I think, how can I be so selfish. There are people out there, in hospitals. In third world countries. Dying to live. And here I am living to die.

And then I think, there are other people out there, successful people. Celebrities. Who seem like they just have everything in the world.

Knowing all of this doesn’t help though. I know that I’m better off then some people. Food on the […]

My parents will never let me be Laycies mother! They will always keep her away from me like I’m a monster! They are getting together a case and calling a lawyer to gain full custody of my daughter and said that they think it’s best if I move out and we all tell Laycie that she is their daughter. They are taking my baby girl because of my borderline personality disorder even though I go to therapy and take all my meds and I’m doing better. There’s nothing I can do about it either. I can’t live without my daughter. I won’t live without my daughter. […]

They just pretend to care

They’ve never been in your shoes

They don’t understand

They just want to take your money

If they cannot handle you

They’ll just tell you that you’re crazy

They’ll just embarrase you

Tell your parents and family that you’re insane

I trusted a stupid therapist just once

and where did it lead me?

I told her to never told my parents

but what happened?

She called them up

Told them

Ever since then my parents controlled my life

They told me that no body cared

They told me that I am alone

and that made me afraid

Afraid for my future.

Mother always told me that father was just wasting his money of pills that would never work

And now […]

suicide or living?
suicide: hurts others
living: hurts me
god fucking damn it i cant win. please let me die i cant go on with life its too painful. i neva once thought this is the life i’d get iwould do anything to not be miserable..so what will it be..friends have been silent all day..but i still dont know. suicide a no go? i may try but chances of success…i actually doubt it. im stuck here in hell. LET ME OUT!!!!!

I don’t want your sympathy. or your attention. I’d really rather not have you watch me suffer. I don’t want you to look at my ugly scars and feel bad for me. I don’t want you to tell me to stop. I don’t want you to tell me you get me, because you don’t. I don’t want you to comfort me when I cry, you were never there before.

why are people so rude?? i mean we are here for the same reason for somebody to here our stories, our pain, our anger. but when some of us try to help them they get mad and they say what do you care about my life i just want to die?? OK they sound soo stupid if somebody really wanted to die they would of done it along time ago but if there posting it up here is because they need help am one of you guys trust me i want to help i wonna read your story i want you to know that there is […]

looks like family life is about to get hella intresting. my, i cant stop the panic AAAA not ready for this, aaaaaarrghhh. im going to listen to music, sleep and maby in the morning i wont be so panicked, but still AAAAAARRRRGGHHH!ill update tommorow

the big things that really make me resent life have just become kind of numbing. their problems are still there everyday but i guess f’ed up is the new normal for me. so now its the little things that decide to kill me or not. out of soap in the shower? kill yourself. all stocked up? you live another day. nobody answers your texts? kill yourself. get replies? you live. its a sick little game i like to play…

It all began on a monday morning at 10:23 October 10th exact my grandma died.Ever since then I’ve been through depression anxiety and self harm and bolemia. I haven’t wanted to die more in my life. I was at my friends house that day i haven’t been to that exact house since. I felt like it was meant to be. I never wanted to go to that house again! All of my friends noticed cuts on my arms bruises red eyes and depression was i was with them. I’ve gotton hate and being told to die and kill myself and im used to it. But […]

we don’t get to chose when we come in this world, so shouldn’t we at least get the convenience to chose when we go out?

It’s haunting me

The person you believe

I could be

I’ll only weigh you down

I’m paralized

Laying stuck to the ground

What if the night gets too long

Are you still sure mornings ever going to come

I don’t wanna trap you while

I’m escaping me