My Suicide Story
I wanna kill myself so bad, i cut myself everyday, i wish people knew what i was going through. I live with my dad who threnthed to rearange my face, he said he will put my mouth on the other side of my face, make me blind, he also said by the time the doctors got done i would never be pretty again, Evan the doctors wouldnt look at me. My brother comes next he threw me in my room and busted myhead up against my drew, and then broke my bed. My uncle done worst when he punched me in my […]
I started texting a guy yesterday, and well its been great. Hes made me so happy and feel so loved, I didnt even notice the little bits of depression through out the day as much as I usually do.. Hes just amazing (:
Even if it dosent work out to be something more..atleast I know ive made a great friend
So yeah yesterday the 21th was my brothers birthday. He turned 6 this year. He was really happy, we had pizza, hotdogs, and a soccer cake. It was going really well… until dad came home from work. Like always he was drunk. So when it was time to eat the cake my dad started crying. Do you know how hard that was for ME, seeing my only father cry. I started crying as well… I was scared! My grandpa told him to calm down and eat. But then my dad got up went to the kitchen and grabes a knife. He then […]
People say am over emotional, they say am easy read that am sensitive, of lately thats all i hear from people about me and i guess after years of hiding my sensitivity to obstacles in life ,am getting rusty ever since i opened my self to my bf.
This is not me am a fighter, i refuse to be run by my emotion, right now i have reached my max an am ready to yell an scream at ppl, am feed up have hidin hw i feel to be respectful etc i am fucking going to be me. So fuck pretenders, fuck close minded […]
Everybody is sad
But no body cries.
everybody is down.
but all they do is lie.
everybody laughs smiles and hugs
but nobody loves.
everybody giggles
everybody is shyÂ
but deep down everybody
is breaking down and crying.
everybody sleeps and goes off into there dreams
but no body sees the kids who cry themselves to sleep.
Dreams are your utopia! The place you wanna stay
but when you wake up you wish your life away.
Going to school a hard thing to do,Â
especially with friends who don’t care what you do.
You’ve told them your down but they don’t care
they just sit there and stare at you blankly because
what your going through, they don’t understand.
Its hard to live
but its […]
A few days ago i was diagnosed with bipolar not otherwise specified. my medication that my pyschiatrist is only enhancing my mood swings. its horrible. i feel like im going crazy and im a ticking time bomb. i almost threw objects at my sisters at two different times; today and yesterday. its getting really bad.
wow, in order to forget the pain in my leg and ankle i have to over does on pills to give me a killer headache but im still miserable and in pain this is so fucked
K I haven’t been there in two years but I need somewhere to go so…. Escaping to my cave in my head. Who will I imagine is with me? Nat 🙂 First danger, a dragon. K Rogue let’s slay a dragon! In this cave I’ll confess everything and cry in your arms. Imagine your reactions and words. It’s the only thing I can do right now. Forget that I was just reminded why I HATE my stepfather and brother. Get me out… Hide with me in my cave. We can make it our own world. Just don’t let me be alone for a moment.
I am not my body’s reaction to the outside world.
Because I feel it does not make it real.
Pain is an indicator of injury much like an alarm sounds to alert of fire; pain is not personal.
I am stronger than the machine I operate; when it breaks down, I do not break down with it.
When it rumbles, slows, trundles, sputters, I conduct maintenance and nothing more.
My body is the machine, I am the operator. Its pain is not mine. Its biological desires are its own. Its limitations do not bind me.
I am something else.
I don’t really know how to start this out seeing as i havn’t talked to anyone about this yet. I guess i’ll just start with i’ve been having suicidal thoughts lately and it wouldn’t be hard considering my dad has a gun license and has several guns in the basement in which i know how to load and use. I can honestly say i don’t love my mother. My father is the best dad i could ask for but my mother is not. My mother treats everyone like they’re dirt especially me. I can’t stand up to her because i have no where else to […]
I’ve been feeling worthless and its like no matter what I do I feel the same way I get up in the morning thinking to myself “why do I have to wake up? No one needs me”
How does someone know when its timer to give up?
so i have this best friend who knows everything about me… he means the world to me and he knows litterally everything about me and i think i know everything about him.
the other day i told him i self harmed (i have been doing it on and off since last september) and he knew i had done it in the past, but i promised him i would tell him before i would do it again. I didnt… and well lets just say he found out and i wish i never said anything.
he had threatened in the past to cut himself twice as hard, which caused […]
Guys… i dont understand what this website is?
H E L P
I am 15 years old & i have always been known as the happy friend (in my group of 14 friends.)
This past year everything has stopped being good. Life has been pretty shit since, and the worst happened back in september… my mum and dad split up. Dads foond someone new and my mum is attempting to move on after the worse depression i have ever seen her in:/
Its hard for me because i was ‘daddies little girl’. But he has a new family now and i see him once or twice a week if im lucky… i hate not seeing him everyday.
Also to make things better, […]
The only things that could make me happy are love and time travel.
But none of them exist…
Ready to quit
hey, there have been a lot of instances when i did something wrong and people would usually stand up for me and i would feel that no i did not do wrong, i was right. but this time, nobody wants to stand up for me, and it feel so bad. i did this thing for everybody’s and my own good and it is really wrong that when i am in a big prob nobody just wants to give me some medical/financial support for it. they all wanted me to do it, that’s why i did it. now i just cant get a hard on. the […]
I just want to know when I will be happy, why can’t it be now, why can’t I just know, nothing is ever certain. I hate this.I hate my cuts. I hate the scars, I hate my head, fuck I hate, so much. I feel sick.