I just wanted to let you guys know that my ex-husband killed himself and the investigators found this website on his hard drive. He did it the exact same way he said he would on here too. He lit himself on fire on our front lawn and then shot himself after about 5 minutes. How am I supposed to pay for myself and the kids now? He withdrew all the money and spent it on god knows what and his life insurance policy was cancelled. Now the 5k a month I was getting in child support and alimony is gone. […]
I’ve been reading over a lot of the stories and tales on this website.
So many of you I can relate to. I wish I could meet up
With some of you just to hang out and I guess realize that we are all in this suffering, torment, saddness, depression. Together. I would like to know If anyone agrees. Or just your general thoughts about this site.
Empty_Soul.
The idea of killing myself is becoming more and more frequent, the plans, the ideas, the notes.. I have written so many of them.
If only she could see that I am suffering without her.. That I am lost, hopeless.. alone. Life seems so meaningless, so insignificant. My mind has sunk deep into an abyss of sadness and sorrow. I don’t know how much more I can take.
She was my world. Yet she left me.. Left me with no explanation. As time passed I worked it out. She left me for someone else. Someone I have know since I was a kid, initially I […]
I withdrew all my money from the Bank.
I have spent the last few days giving it away.
Trying to achieve the mindset that the time has come.
I tell myself be brave you will be missed by none. The banality of my existence tells me I am making the only decision I can.
That life can be so painful. I wish for a life I was never given. So I say I no longer want this one. I have had enough. Some of the stories I have read here
resonate so loudly.
How is it some can fly so high, whilst others suffer and […]
I do not believe that I will live to see the next year. I have no exact date yet to fulfill my plan, but I do not believe that I can carry on much long. I still have many things to do, to make things as painless as possible for my dearest ones. There so much to do, but in the end I’ll be at peace.
For years I’ve been handling this feelings, but nowadays I mostly feel emptiness. I’ve been tired too long to carry on anymore for long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just too tired and empty. I just hope that they […]
u left me here
alone
u say u care
i dont think u do
u say im amzing
i dont believe u
u say how u love me more than life
BS
u say though we’re young we’ll be
married
u say not to leave u
but u left me here
alone
why did u do that
u left me here for her
your ex
u say sometimes u love her more
than me
when im your girlfriend
or am i not
i dont know
u left me here
i tried calling
i tried everything
u ignore me
cuz u left me here
alone, sad, […]
I came across this site in a search for uncharmed. My heart breaks at some of the stories I’ve read. I love you all. Kick butt, be happy, and screw everyone that makes you feel otherwise.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to sheild me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superfical phony games.
I […]
I have never, ever put my thoughts and pain and utter dejection into print before. I have read countless posts and can honestly say I see so many differing viewpoints that I feel more lost than ever. I have lived with depression and epilepsy for a long time, too many years. You would not believe the effort writing this has been! Or maybe you would. I have now been researching “my exit” for several months. I care little for painless methods I care little for anything at all to be honest. What I seek is an affective method a guarantee of success if you like. […]
Don’t be fool by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I’m afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me,
but don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my gane,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface
is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to […]
To my family and friends
What I’ve done is inexcusable – I apologize for what you must be going through. This has been many years in the making, and I’ve struggled with it as long as I can.
I Hate Being Around People. All I Ever Whant To Do Is Be By Myself Because It Seems Easyer That Wayy,I Have THE BIGGEST Insecurity Issue. I Cant Sleep At Night And when I Do I Feel Like I Didnt Even Sleep,I Am So Confused. I Always Feel Sad, I Get Irritated Really Really Quick Sometimes With Out Reason,I Feel Extremly Fat, I Dont Understand Myself,I Get No Point To Anything, And I Dont Know How To Find Myself Because I Dont Even Kno Who I am..
a struggle with growing apathy .. to have little concern for too many things .. to live life in autopilot mode, doing things because you’re used or expected to and rarely because you desire to .. your soul is disconnected from this 3D reality, you have a wandering mind and your body is what keeps you trapped in a world you don’t want to be a part of
I’ve been living this way for 4+ years and I’m truly fed up with being half a zombie half a robot .. I’ve done a lot of introspection to find out I’m only interested in two things: total […]
I Cut For The First Time, All My Life I Had Promissed My Self I Wasnt Going To Go Down That Path But Unfortunately I Failed MySelf, It Felt Like An Escape, Like Something I Can Run To When i Cant Take Things Anymore,To Me Thats The Only Thing That Listen To Me When I Need SomeOne.15 Years Ive Been Fighting My “Depression” And Tonight It WON
Many People See ThemSelves In The future, But I Dont, Honestly I have No Idea What im Doing Here In The first Place I Feel Like I’m An Outcast, I Look Around Me And EveryBodys Happy,Everybody Feels Like They Wake Up Each Morning For A Reason,Not Me Of Course. I Dont get Why I Am Here, And Each & Every Day That Goes By I Wonder Who I Am? And It Seems Like Every Second That Passes By I Lose Myself A Little More. I Feel Like Shitt All The Time And All I Can Do Is Feel It….
I’ve had a couple of moments in  my life, one was just a couple of minutes ago. The ceiling in my bathroom was falling (my house is going under construction) and I didn’t move, I just stood there and watched as everything came crumbling down. A part of me was hoping the whole thing would come down on top of me, so at least I wouldn’t have to do it. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, one time I was swimming and just for a second I thought I could stop swimming and everyone would just think it was just this […]
Where do i even begin? I am 18 years old and i lost the people who pretty much raised me at a young age and developed depression before i had hit the third grade. Then i found out i had cancer, ive been fighting that for almost a year now and ive gone through so many surgeries and dont know what to say about it. But the weight of the sickness and the looming thought of dying and just having peace finally is so enticing i long for it. But then seven months ago i met the most amazing person i k.ow the person thats […]
ive lost everything. My money, my friends, my family, my job. People keep telling me “oh you’re only 16 you’ve got your whole life ahead of you” but I know that’s total bs. Of those 16 years, I’ve been depressed for 6 and I’ve wanted to die for 4. I don’t want to see what life brings in 30 years. Because I already know what it’s gonna be like. Me miserable, alone, broke, probably homeless living off booze weed and ramen I cook using trash fires and a pot I stole from walmart. Trying to find a way to die but unable to actually do […]
I fail at everything. I can’t even successfully take my own life. All I want is to die but I am too scared. I don’t want to be alone. I hate myself. I deserve to die alone but I am a scared little girl that can’t do anything right. For herself or for this world. I need to do this. I just don’t know how. Don’t want to be alone. Scared. Hating every minute.
After I became an adult, I realized that the world is full of sufferings
true there’s joy as well, but the sufferings are much more severe
in everyone but children I see a shred of suffering
this site for example, has dozens of posts a day, only a small portion of the actual viewer, and I bet very large number of world populations also feel the same, don’t forget the people without internet connection in Africa or such. But in Africa everything is trying to kill everybody, death by suicide is the last concern
For all this sufferings, I wish God would help us all, I want to be […]