When someone thinks about a suicidal person they think of a person who walks around sad and depressed all the time… This wasn’t me. I was the loud, confident one. The essentail “life of the party” type kid. I was a people magnet people liked to be around me… But if they knew the daily war i had with myself i wonder if things would be different… I’ve had suicide in the back of my head for a while but if you saw me in public you’d swear it was the furthest thing in my head. I found it easier to play the role of […]
why? i just want to give up. be dead. im sick of pain i have felt it enough. im miserable, i cant sleep, im too stressed to do anything. i wanna end this forever take me on a free vacation to peace. i am on my last nerve to just do it tonight get rid of the pain and set me free. yeah i should do it tonight i stalled last night and ended up being miserable til 3am i dont want to do that again:/ i wanna do it NOW.
Im sorry when I read these posts that there seems so many people that feel like I do as I know how I feel and wouldnt wish that anyone. Im going ti give in and give up as Im not strong enough to carry on, but dont want anyone else to hope you all manage to find a reason to pull through a hope, dream just anything. I know your thinking who the hell arfe you to doll out advice your gonna end it but I just want to put this out there sorry
Wrecked my brand new car and the only friend I had at work is leaving. Mom is still in the nursing home and she’s never getting out alive. It’s so hard to find a purpose when you never get good news. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is ‘I can’t believe I have to face another day’.
Mary Richardson was in the news again today – well actually it was her husband. Reading about her really makes me think of suicide as a way out. Problem is I don’t have the guts to kill myself in such a brutal way.
I have to clean the infection out of the wound before I can allow it to heal, Even if it already scabbed over I would have to reopen it to clean it, although it never healed.
I have survived abuse, car accidents, living in gang riddin, drug-dealing neighborhood as a child, being married to a cop and having him take my kids and do weird/mind fuck type things to get back at me for leaving him, jail, drug addiction, homelesness, being outcasted from any blood family I new of (I didn’t grow up knowing family really). IDK I’ve been through a hell of alot and all I hear from people that I am strong and what am I gonna do with my life. “I have soo much potential” I’m told.
I’m sick of being here. I am sick of the […]
This was just me fiddling around with the word “and”. Then it turned into a kind of poetic narrative I think. Well, tell me what you think.
And the skies of her mind darkened
And her world became night
But she had always loved the night
Until it came for her mind
And the ink of soul bled across the divide
Between herself and her fears
Accepting the demons into her heart
And those demons ate her heart
And replaced it with a rotting hunk of flesh
That had once been Hope
But now dwells only for pain
And slowly she dissolved
Imploded and burned
And […]
“My name is unimportant. I am neither male, nor female. My age has no relevance to my grief. Consider me a faceless representation of depression. An anonymous death seeker. A hopeless nobody.”
I’ve met someone. At this point in time I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse, a cure to my life-long battle with depression, or a catalyst. This someone is special. The way I feel when I’m with them is astonishing. I feel happy, and content with myself. I feel at ease. At peace. And when I am with them it feels like my troubles have slipped through my […]
Hello, people.
I know it’s not a place to share things, I just can’t resist. I was never fan of classical music, but this is astonishing. It can really put some ease into your weary hearts. The whole album is on youtube, I hope you’ll like it.
Hm well I haven’t really felt any better since the last rant.
I’ve finally finished it with my long term on and off boyfriend of 4 years, I don’t feel bad about it at all, i am not in love with him anymore, but I do still love and care about him, he doesn’t seem to understand how you can feel that. He also can’t stand hearing about my “life” with other people.
Is it bad to have slept with more people than your actual age?
I don’t regret any of the things I’ve done ever! I did regret not doing drugs, but ha i […]
I NEED THIS TO END I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.
so its been a while since i wrote something on here so here it is . i have to take summer school beacuse in 9 grade i failed on my credites  it was because of my anxiety i would never come to school i hated being there beacause  i always felt trapped .today i started online summer school it was easy and cool forr mee beacuse you  only misss one day iff you miss another day they kick you out so im doing it online . i felt calm and relaxed not like in regular school wwere im shaking or crying .i ave to do […]
I cant live a sad existence anymore, i feel separated from everything constantly. Wish i was still with my ex and I know i would be happy. Without her i dont have the will to carry on and live. I want to just be able to disappear and i know that noone would actually miss me.
i want to know what i have done that had been so bad for me to live like this, i just cant go on
Do you ever feel like youve cried every tear your body can possibly produce than more still comes? I just need to end it
Honesty ive been really far down before. To the point that ive been minutes away from death. One person was alway there helping me. She knew everything that was happenning in my life and wheather she knew it or not she had saved my life many times, she got me the help i needed but lately i havent been feeling right and i feel i lost my best friend, we’ve gotten in to alot of fights lately and i wish we never did because i honestly can not live with out her in my life. I cant and i dont know what to do right […]
Nothing, that’s what I am, and that’s what I feel. I may be breathing but, I am not living. Nothing that I ever do is ever good enough for anyone, and it never will be. For years I used to blame those that were around me for the way that I am, but maybe all along it has only truly been me. Maybe the beatings, the abuse, the hatred that others always directed at me was never really their fault, perhaps the blame should have been pointed at me all along. There is no reason for me to live, everything that I have ever held dear to […]
Goodbye yellow brick road………
I have been fucked over by friends all my life. So i became very jaded and i am now very reserved and don’t care much for people at all.
But that all changed when i began uni. I was thrust into a big group of girls that have all treated me so unbelievably wonderful. I have prepared for them turning on me. But it hasn’t happened yet.
I am so insecure. I am going out with them and a few others from my classes tomorrow and i am terrified.
The last friend i had told me she couldn’t put up with me anymore because i didn’t share […]
Its hard to put a smile on half the time it feels like I’m lieing to everyone… Well I guess I am anyways so I guess I’m not hurting anyone. I think. Writing here is good but half the time it feels like no ones listening but I know you’re reading this so why don’t you answer? Caues you don’t have the time or you just don’t know what to say? I rather just runaway so I don’t get yelled at so I don’t feel so traped,but where would I go? That’s why I don’t go.
-Kyra
So, I’ve been thinking about running away..I know it’s wrong to run away from your problems. Tho I don’t really care anymore, ya I’ll probably miss my family a bit.. And I know it’s wrong to leave them so I’ll probably never actually do it.. Tho I wish .. Im a coward..
Ugh life is hard… I want a flat stomach and skinny thighs which hasn’t happened yet..
:/ I want to die but I don’t. I just want to be happy and have no care in the world. Tho that seems impossible…
-RawrImaTurtle….