i am so tired. life seems absolutely pointless, it makes little sense so by my judgement, i am done, im gunna go try and hang mysef, i willl fail butfuck.

I’m sad in my heart
I’m sad in my skin
And if I talk about my thoughts where would I begin.
The day is so endless the night is so long
How much longer do I need to be this strong.
Can’t get to sleep yet never wanting to awake
Must keep going for everyone else’s sake.
Is this the beginning is this the end
So many reasons so many friends.
Yet I keep on going for a little while at least
Even though inside sadness is my feast.

.

I haven’t shared my feelings except here. I was going to share how I feel with my family, but would feel ashamed and look weak. Any advise??

Self harm song-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5t1f5HIPbg The ultimate suicide song- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKZRcIGnaqE&feature=relmfu (needs headphones) Anger -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM3qOxHdcCU Death-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7mr_a7uo4o How people view us (generic advice)- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snt4fEapbNM Society- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGEQT48Ghzs

link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTXeg-Swq9w

Whenever I feel like killing myself I listen to this track! Give it a shot! I think (at least the true old school) hip hop helps rechanneling the negative energy elsewhere. I listen to a lot of it; I think the main problem today is that the world is just downright unfucking fair and people should be killed but not us the sensitive common people; it”s those fuckers on the top of the chains that are abusive exploitative bastards, literally starving their people to death!!!! and that has to be changed. also they’re forcing on us an image that we just can’t identify with, an […]

Ugh!

I can’t voice my opinion anywhere else but here. So sorry if this is boring but i need to rant!

I think hunting animals to EAT is fine. But when you go out shooting with your dumb arse friends with an overpowered shot gun to shoot rabbits then you’re just being a fucking loser with a dangerous weapon.
When asked if you were going to use the animals that had been shot and telling me that only one was okay to eat and ‘the other two were too messy’ really fucking pisses me off!

I would kill something to eat later. But i would never kill an […]

Today is already worse than any others. I can’t bring a smile to my face, I don’t want to… No motivation, no will. Today I finally told him the problem I’ve been dealing with for a long time now… I think it hurt him 🙁 but I knew he couldn’t understand… Hes supposed to make me the happiest person and the world and now he feels like he’s not doing everything he could but it’s not him, he’s not why I’m like this. It’s me, I’m the one doing this to myself, I feel like I’m losing grip. I’m trapped in my own hell, I […]

To be completly honest I haven’t the slightest idea of why I’m depressed. Is there something wrong with me? I’ve never gotten any professional help from anyone, cause I don’t want it. But it’d be nice to know what exactly is happening to me and why I want to kill myself.

MY MIND IS SET READY TO POP OFF. . ITS LIKE THE SKY FALLING ON MY CHEST. IT’S ALL OVER A GIRL . …. WHY CAN’T YOU SEE. WHAT YOUR DOIND TOO ME. . !! FUCK ALL THIS SHITT . READY TO POP OFF.

So basically I’m not sure if it’s depression or I’m just surrounded by asswholes, openions?

I dont know how this happened to me. Everyday I sit here trying to think differently, to feel different, to be different. I cant take it and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Do I go do the one thing that I want so badly? The one thing that will take this horrible pain inside me away forever? Am I brave enough to take that final step of the cliffs edge?

No one can save me now!!!

I’m haunted by a picture of the love of my life sitting side by side with her new boyfriend on the beach that I saw on facebook.

Actually the picture is on his facebook, I can’t even see hers because she blocked me. It’s just a picture of feet. Side by side.

I only know they’re her feet because that’s how well I know her, even a year after we last spoke.

I wish her feet were next to mine again…Instead I’m haunted by a picture, just one more reason to not want to be alive anymore.

Im so tired of my life. Im so exhausted… I just want to go. nobody understands me. My life is so pathetic. Im tired. Really tired…

I think this is it. A lot of beer in me. I’m ready. I’m not afraid. I’m only afraid of my future which would be much easier if I didn’t have to deal with it. Texted a bunch of friends, it’s 3 am, why the fuck would they be texting me back? I had a great plan, a great plan full of what ifs. What if I found a job, what if I was happy, what if things would change the moment I moved 600 miles away. No, location doesnt change a thing. I dont know what to do anymore. I’m going to the park. […]

If you don’t take away anything else by the time you finish reading this entry, then I hope you at least will take away this one thought that could perhaps be the greatest revelation in your life which you don’t even know about yet; and it’s this…………………………

YOU. MATTER.

Your problems matter. And someone out there does love you even when you think you’ve been rejected, hit rock bottom, and can no longer find comfort in living.

…Hey, been there. Done that. I have the scars on the inside and out to prove it….and no, I don’t care for a repeat either because as much as it lingers […]

I’m sitting in the rain, everything looks so dark, so sad, so hopeless… yet I can’t stop watching. I can’t stand up and say: ENOUGH.

So I sit there trying to understand but there’s nothing to understand… I hear the voice in my head, charming and cold, saying to me things, things I don’t comprehend… questioning me things, things I don’t remember… blaming on things, things I didn’t do.

Such a mess my head is, a pretty bad nightmare…I just can’t wake up. Sometimes I wonder if I’m damaged. Sometimes…

I get in the house still raining, open all the doors to hang in every wall […]

Me and my gf were together ffor awhile and we had planned to get married. But then a week later everything went downhill…she screamed at me “screw forever” saying I don’t love you and everything else as she walked away…I have no friends and no one to talk to, I’m too dam scared to kill myself and I just hurt everyone around me…I’m the biggest ***** ever…I wish id just die some natural way…

I’m one of those people that like to pay attention to detail, so natrually I found everything wrong about myself. I’d lie awake at night thinking about all the things I might have done wrong that day and saying to myself “God, you’re an idoit” Whenever someone complimented me, I always thought “they’re just saying that to spare my feelings, they don’t really like me” And i’ll admit, I’m pretty fucked up in the head.

Self harming, or cutting. What a concept man, I love it. Nothing feels better then thinking you can just cut away all these imperfections. And thats what I did. And it […]

i am in so much pain life is spiralling downwards and is out to get me. no kne cares about me cuz right now i have to be there for my friends who re upset and i dont wanna upset them more with my provlems:/ ohhh fuck i want the guilt and pain to stop NOW

I was right about you all along.
When I thought someone finally cared about me, when I opened up & didn’t leave me, you left. You don’t even realise it either. I needed you. & you weren’t there. You were the first person I’ve ever opened up my dark, dark self to. I just want to cry out, do you realising what you’re doing to me. Do you realise the mess I am, desperate for help screaming at you, standing right in front of you?

You’re just like everyone else , you don’t care ; you’re just curious .