i’m sick of all of this if you try and tell anybody how you feel they’ll try and help you or get someone to help you, people say if you feel this way you should see someone but what help is that gonna do how will it help at all if they have never felt this way how can they help if they don’t know what it’s like to feel like this and if none of them have ever felt this way because if they did they wouldn’t want to help other people like this it would depress them or bring back old memories so […]
So… I’ve never been good at talking about my problems…. but here it goes..
For the past year I have had major depression problems… Which shouldn’t make sense, I have awesome friends, an okay family and an amazing boyfriend… Yet nothing seems right. Nothing fills the void.. Every day I wake up and ask why I didn’t pass in my sleep … I wish every night not to wake up. Lately I have also been extremely sick, from lung infection to ears, to having strep throat. I have no life left in me, there is no candle light burning… It went out a long time ago, […]
http://youtu.be/lnSgSe2GzDc
I have been unafraid of dying for quite some time now, many months in fact!
I now live a life of selfishness, indifference and meaninglessness all rolled into one. It is all pointless, and in this I seem to have found a way of staying alive. It will not last long though I think, but give it a try, if not for a bit.
Enjoy
Professional psychological counseling is still two weeks away, been treading water while friends hit me with oars. To help me, I guess. That’s what it feels like sometimes. The lies they tell me to “comfort” me have been exposed once more by their behavior and thoughtlessness and it sickens me and drags me deeper, even though it was meant to help. That life vest seems pretty appealing, then you put it on, and then they tell you “by the way, it’s made of concrete”. Down you go.
For longer than I can remember, I say I am a unhappy, existence is meaningless, people are deluded, the […]
A part of me wants to die so bad….but I’m too scared to make that permanent decision :'(
A sailor (me) sees a ship sinking, so he rows his boat to the wreckage to see if he can help. He takes one refugee, then another, then another. More start clamoring for help, each one desperate to cling on to anything that floats. The rowboat can’t take any more. But how can the sailor leave them behind? How can he choose who gets to live, how can he tell the others, “No room. You have to die”?
He can’t. So he keeps taking on refugees as his rowboat sinks lower and lower. There is no solution, none that he can accept without being haunted by […]
I’ve been laying on the floor for the past 30 min, crying. I’m losing my mind a bit more each day. My fire is gone, my fight is gone. I feel like garbage. Nothing can make it better. Fuck, I can barely hold myself together to write this. I’m dead inside, dead for too long, soon to be dead for good. I can’t do this anymore. They all want me dead. Don’t even know what to say anymore… Everything is pointless… everything is pointless…
I’ve been compared to my sisters, my family and my friends the entire time. I’m good at different things, but everyone seems to forget about them. I’m a failure to everyone around me. I try to “feel good about my stuff” but that is complete crap when you feel like the entire world has been against you your entire life. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
The aroma of flowers exciting your olfactory senses and overwhelming you with wafting scents;
The riot of color within the botanical garden blinding your sight with its myriad spatterings like an artist’s paintboard;
The soothing texture of the cooling sand is calming as you curl your toes in it while enjoying the lovely sunset at the beach;
The goosebumps and relaxation you get from the cool water while paddling your board out to catch the elusive night waves;
The taste of your favorite food tantalizing your buds as you enjoy it after it has been prepared with loving hands;
The harmony of the music that soothes you as you blast it […]
I’ll keep this short. I’m sick of my life. Sick of my “friends”. Sick of my “family”. Sick of the stresses. Sick of the work. Sick of living. I’m done. I want it to be over.
im a sinner and every morning when i wake up im still me… you can hide from annoying people but how can you hide from yourself? no attempts this morning, i’ll stay for the graduation and then i have all summer to try try try again.
im so sick of people thinking they know me,
how can anyone know me if i dont really know myself?cause im not the main sorce of information for my own life?soon wen you let every body in, and they all hurt you, this mask doesnt do know good, it becomes to late, it can protect me from other people, but it cant protect me from myself,.has anyone ever felt like they wanna die,or even more wen you thiink of certain people?and its hard not to wen thats all u have,i try to be strong for 21 years, and the only thing iv accomplished is […]
Generally I’m more of an observer and a listener than the person who actually speaks. I never blog, and NEVER talk to anyone about how unhappy I really am. But I need a listener for a change – an unbiased, unjudgemental listener. My life has been a traumatic mess, and has created in me an emotional, unstable, and lost little girl. At the same time, I am a very logical and sensible person, and I realize that dwelling on things (especially things from the past) is unhealthy, and probably a part of the reason I’m so miserable. These 2 people argue in my brain – […]
Maybe together we can touch the sky and watch the sun burn or watch the sky fall and watch the world turn…
My hero…saves me from the world, somehow keeps me close when we’re so far apart
..but i cant help but notice the sorrow..in your eyes. The darkness in your brow…
Superman, are you okay? Your tears are like earthquakes to me…shake the foundation of my world.
I need you to be okay..because who’d save us if you went astray or even…passed away?
*kiss*
I hope it works…for what else could save a hero but love?
I love you
i’m done in this house.. i’m done in my life… i’m done feeling this hurt.. i’m done living… i’m sorry to everyone.. i’m sorry im giving up… i’m sorry im leaving stuff behind… i’m sorry i’m giving in to these dark thoughts.. i love you cassidy… goodnight and goodbye … <3 xoxo
i want to be saved.. but idk if it even matters to try…
I got a new haircut. My hair was halfway down my back but because of the heat i finally had it cut,i wanted it to be cut to my shoulders but my mother accidently cut it to my neck. I was so insecure about my hair because of how short it was and because my hair is the only thing people seem to notice about me so i was scared. I woke up this morning and i looked myself in the mirror,today was the first day that i was able to look at myself and not feel insecure about my body,weight doesn’t matter,my looks don’t […]
k, lately things have been horrible. i got contact with this one guy again who has been helping me through everything and AtTheEnd im so sorry everything i said i had no right too and i know its impossible to forgive me then my sister has been causing me so much stress with hittin, punching, biting, and choking me, i have been so fucking stress and this is where i must be crazy i was telling that guy i just contact with again bout all this and he said he doesnt want to his gf to be so sad i said im your gf? he […]
As a teen girl life is and will be hard, not just for girls, boys aswell. I was one of the many that gave into temptation. temptation with drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships. At 14 years old i had been beaten or hit by ex boyfriends and my father, ran away from home three times, each over two weeks long, Been sexually abused 3 times. I have continued to cut and it’s turned from four or five at a time to a couple hundred at a time, i was bulemic. i started to hear and see things, voices and this man. i could feel him, […]
Has anyone seen this?
I have just watched it and would like to discuss what others think.
🙂