Ive been so depressed lately I just don’t know what to do with myself any more I have cuts and scars all over. One of my friends laughed at me when I told her I cut. My mum thinks I stopped I just don’t have the strength to tell her. My step dad abuses me I have a cut on my head thanks to him. I cry every night. I can’t get the image of my aunt out of my head since September when she died. She was more of a mum then mine. I haven’t seen my father since 2005 he said he loved […]
Is anyone else awake as I can’t sleep???
To drunk to read my book and there is nothing good on TV this time of night???
Life is a big long joke!
Just a high schooler. Honors classes, president of NHS, student council etc. good grades, good amount of close friends. I’m above average when it comes to school. But at school, I feel like I’m invisible, like if I were to die one day, it wouldn’t matter. And that goes for at home too. I’m not abused at all, or anything bad like that, but I have something wrong with me mentally, I crave attention. It’s to the point where I cut myself and don’t try to cover it. I have made myself throw up because I always get called names like “fatty” or “pig” by […]
This is my friend I covering People Help the People by Birdy. I sing the first verse, she the second. If you like it, check out the original, it’s so amazing. I messed up the middle part, I know.
Drowning in myself
Always asking why
Never feeling settled
Just wanting some peace
The whispers that show
I’m better off dead
Nobody would care
Everybody would be happy
Just needing some queit
Knowing it will never happen
Always screaming, pleading, and begging
Someone notice, someone say something
Cause I never can.
i can never seem to please people,noone really cares,i piss people off for just being alive,but deep inside, theres two sides of me,a little part of me that wants people to be happy and do something to help them out, but when it aint good enough or they dont care,the other part of me wants to piss them off,the fact that they would never last a day in my shoes, past and present, makes me stronger, makes me smarter because i knew and know how to survive.if i was them, i would be dead from being murdered or something els,if being alive didnt piss people […]
I’m high and I cut myself very deep. I don’t know what to do!
I’m not telling anyone anything, so it’s ok…
But basically i had never really thought of it before, I see things and hear voices. It’sdeveloped more recently, I see myself. Something has happened to me and i see how people try to help me… And i hear voices. They tell me things. They make scary predicitions.
It usually only happens when i’m alone, rarely when I’m with someone…
What’s wrong with me?
I used to be an alcoholic. but I cleaned up my act and I quit 7 years ago. but just a month back I started drinking again. One thing lead to another and I find that I’m drinking everyday. And the old voices come back. They tell me to end it all. That this life is not worth anything. I cant take it anymore. The only reason I’m still alive is because of my mother. She’s very ill and she needs me still. But I dont know how long i can go on.
Test injected with my thio…. this is so going to work when the time is right.
one guy, me, and love. the battle in life, love controls us. i never wanted to disaprear so badly until he came along… i love him. i want him but i cant have him, maybe thats why its all gone down hill.. i slit.. i cry.. everynight.. i never thought that growing up and falling inlove was so hard.. i was inlove before and told myself not to fall ever again… but then it happend, he made me feel like i could, like he would catch me.. we broke up because i was upset.. i got kicked out of my moms and house and […]
few days back i wanted to quit it with car exhaust- carbon monoxide.
but now, i want to do it the hibachi style..
i even  ordered from ebay one old japanese hibachi, just for this. i like japan, so yea.
and imagining  the whole process, i really adore it. i dont know yet where im gonna do it, but i have few nice choices to pick from.
i dont know when, i’ll see when the hibachi arives.
sorry for my bad english. peace.
I wrote my bucket list today. Can’t wait to put it to action! My favourite ones on there?
‘Flip someone off’
‘Tell a girl who is wearing extra-mini shorts that she forgot her pants’
‘Dance in public’
‘Lip-sync a song with vigour, while in public’
Quite excited. Making a fool of ones self is actually very fun when you have the energy.
i dont want to be here anymore
i dont know what going on my lifes so messed up. everything went wrong when i was taken from my mother at the age of 11 i had to move to my dads because social services said my mum emotionally and mentaly abused us i was a good kid i looked after my younger sibling while my older brother and sister took drugs with my mum so when we was taken i was relieved in a way but my whole life changed from there. i have 4 sisters and 1 brother we all got seperated and we had supervised […]
I looked outside of my window this afternoon and noticed, as if for the first time, the wooden pillars that hold up a sheet over our patio. My thoughts instantly went to ‘I can buy some rope and hang myself there.’ and I smiled. It’s kind of pretty, it’s right next to a large bush of flowers that grows above our shed.
I think it might be too short for a proper hanging though, so I’ll have to somehow fix it.
It feels nice to have a decision.
It’s not at all that I may be having second thoughts, contemplating whether I have made the right choice or not. It’s just although I don’t want to be here now, I feel sad that the old me can not continue living. I guess I just wish that the events leading up to my decision had not have happened. I could continue to live my innocent and naive life, unaware of its dangers and pain. Should I do it tomorrow, why not in a few days? I don’t want to be here anymore, and I am 100% sure of that.
That’s it, unless something sudden and dramatic happens that changes the way I feel (like my mum and brother die in a car crash – I cam dream) I am going to do it. I can’t actually get myself to say what I am doing because I see it as falling asleep, only you never wake up. It’s peaceful and calming, its freedom and happiness all in one. The ‘S’ word used to describe it sounds malicious and destructive, so I’m going to fall asleep, pass away peacefully. Thank you for all your support and I hope that someone out their can help you.
everyone assumes you are forcing your feelings onto others but its not like that….its not~
why does no one understand the way i am feeling~
or is it that they dont want to try and understand…?
I am trying to hold on, but I have been steadily tidying up my life these last weeks and I am throwing away my career and my life very quickly. I am steadily working towards the end and although I feel really bad right now, I know I will hold on another day or two. I keep trying to find excuses to carry on just one more day (new tattoos, new clothes/shoes to be bought tomorrow), anything at all. But it is all crap and means nothing. It is just a distraction from where I know I am heading. I hate to set deadlines, none […]