I might have to kill myself tonight.
Everything just fucking fell apart on me,
I have no idea what to do about it.
I died inside and no one is here to help me through this.
I’m afraid I won’t succeed and I’ll end up somewhere in the psych ward.
I’m so afraid.

Life sucks so bad right now,
I’m so sick of this right now.
My friends leave me out all the time and I feel so left out all the time.
I can’t do this anymore. Really, I can’t.
I just feel awful all the time.
Depression is eating me up. Bad.

I tried of everything.
Tried of losing my friends.
Tried of not being notice.
Tried of those who don’t understand.
Tried of trying to fit in.
I so tried, just I want it all to end.

But i going to live, because I tried of people who think I am not going to make it.

I’m NOT tried of proving them wrong.

found this poem online n made me think about a lot.

i thought i’ll share it with you guys.

 Razorblade

As the razorblade slides threw my pale skin,
the red, warm blodd starts to run down my arm.
It goes faster and faster.
The sut is so deep,
like it’s never been before.
The razorblade turns all red,
full of blood.
I know now theres no turning back.
The scare of my pain will always be there forever.
I’ll always have the memories.
I just had to let the pain go somehow.
This is the way I do.
Thoughts of suicide start to run threw […]

Once youve stopped giving a fuck about things, its hard to start caring again.

Ok my teacher went on a rant on how suicide is for selfish cowards. And I don’t understand how she can say this, yes its a bit selfish but I think its more selfish to make someone live when they have so much happens to them and they have been strong for so long don’t they understand there is only so far you can bend before you snap? Also how can they say its for cowards they have never had to pick up the blade, tie the knot, gag on the pills. They don’t know how much courage it takes to end your life to have the […]

~as always grammar is not present here. deal with it.~

my parents know that i am really depressed. they take me to doctors and therapists and they pick up my prescriptions.

i feel like they should have a little more logic…

…they still let me collect knives.

i dont cut very often but still, shouldnt it be logic to not let a depressed kid have a collection of knives? also they know im good at sharpening… i cut a penny in half with one of my knives once.

i just think that its weird that they never though that a bunch of knives could be a BAD thing? is that just […]

I’m 41 yo female, I don’t have any kids. My family don’t talk to me. I have been formally diagnosed with aspergers. I have a low grade glioma in my brain stem (superior colliculus). I have a chiari 1 malformation. Both the tumour and chiari cause migraines, nausea and anxiety. I’m depressed, and everyone I speak to says that is understandable given my situation. I havent any friends – thanks to a combination of my aspergers and terminal illness. People walk away as if it’s catching or something. I’ve tried phoning helplines but all they […]

Most people would say I have a pretty average life. I have two married parents and a healthy sister. I don’t have or know everything in fashion, but I do dress decently. I have some acne. My hair frizzes out from time to time. And I have plenty of friends.

But what they don’t know is this. My two married parents talk about divorce. They fight all the time. Even my mom is a recovering alcoholic. My sister may be healthy, but she tells me I don’t deserve to live, nobody likes me. My clothes have to cover my back because the […]

Yesterday…I told myself, im going to be nice, im going to be a better person, and not mean. Well im not really mean. I just want to be a better person. I tried it today. i tried to better myself. But it didnt work. i tried to be nicer to everyone…but, once again, i’ve been hurt. Once again someone called me a man; well not nessarily. he called me a boy really, and everyone who heard laughed. Once again, i’ve been told i have a deep voice and sound like man. it’s like 10th grade all over again. i dont know how long i can […]

I lied… I lost all of my friends… they are constantly bitching me out now… I need someone to talk to me… Should I try suicide?  I dont want to end it all but with my parents yelling at me non-stop… It might be the answer….

Okay so when I first started this, I had not one thing to say on it. Now I have a slight idea…

When I first joined The Suicide Project I was lonely, depressed. I had suicidal thoughts running through my mind, tormenting me. I have attempted suicide 5 times so far. My memories haunt my every waking moment and I cut my wrists and upper arms so deep that the scars will never heal. I would cry because I hated myself so much, I hated my looks, I thought I was the ugliest person alive, my weight to me 7 and a half pounds or 107ibs, I thought this […]

turning my pain into something creative, and made a music video. watch please.

is anyone on here from canada? i recently seen a post about someone in ohio so i was just wondering about canadians. and if you are what province?

I don’t have a sob story. I have never been abused. My parents are alive and healthy as are my siblings.

I’m almost sure I have depression, I have every single one of the signs, but I don’t want to tell my mom.

I’m not pretty, I have an oddly shaped face and horrible eyebrows that no matter how much I pay to have them shaped, their just never pretty. My eyes are nothing special, same as my nose, and my lips are incredibly thin. My hair is a ugly blond-ish brown that just looks greasy all the time. I’m not smart, I’m not athletic, I’m not […]

It would be nice to have a best friend that I can share everything with and not be embarrassed. I live in Utah..aka HELL lol and it’s so hard to find real people. I have a so called best friend right now, but she always gets mad at me for stupid things I do, and when she does stupid things, I just sit there and listen. Hmm…so I guess she really isn’t my best friend huh? Well if anyone wants to be my friend or talk I would absolutely love that. I have a lot of baggage…but who doesn’t? I’m 18 btw. I could really […]

My Immortal lyrics:

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I’m bound […]

first off let me just say how happy i feel finding this website
(albeit a little random, just googled cold and alone)
Like im sure everyone else on this website my life story is a bit too long to include on my first post,
so i’ll try and keep it to the point.

I had a somewhat happy childhood. I did have sexual contact (mostly with other boys around my age at the time)
when i was still very young. Then the infamous 8th grade came along and everything changed.
I had to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, be cool etc in order […]

Sanctuary by Paradise Fears.

This song is incredible and I can’t explain how much I recommend you listen to it. It’s one of those songs that understands you and makes you feel just a little less alone and gives you hope and comfort.

There’s a speech in the middle and the words are so inspiring and comforting. Just please, please listen to it even if you just want to hear a good song.

I found this song when I needed it, and I really hope it helps you as well. If you’re looking for a sign that things will be okay and you’re not alone, this is it.

I always feel so alone. I just want someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I want to trust that my friends actually are my friends, and aren’t just nice to me because they feel bad for me. I want them to come to my room (I live at a residential school), instead of me always going to their room. I want them to message me first. I want to know that they love me. They are all that keep me here; if they leave me, I’ll leave the world. I want their faces to light up when they see me, the […]

Life seems to be like piano keys: black & white.. black & white.. We make decisions what cause a chain of actions. We make fails, we make victories. Nobody’s fault.

Jill Bolte Taylor, scientist in this video, made me think over my life and things around… Really good stuff to watch.

These days seems great – i bought a new car, spoke with my bro (made him apologize and little peace between us), my boss in job sent me to teach kids how to make CPR – it was great expierence. Before a few days boss saw me smoking in the yard of ambulance.. Come on! She […]