…sucks. i hate it. EVERYONE has it and if u dont u dont have any way of comunicating with others. if u dont have facebook ur like an ”outcast”. i dont have it cause i havent got many friends nd b/c people judge u from what pics u have how many , what u do, what u like, etc .. i think it ruined societies way of keeping in touch,,so did blackberrys. phone calls dont exist anymore. its facebook or bbmessaging. what happened to the old ways ? i miss that
one of my worste pains was never having a permentent home, never having somewhere i could call home,being misunderstood and labled for it just makes you even more angry, angry enough to scream, then people looked at me like i was even more crazy,but they had no idea what was going on behind four walls, i had times i told and noone did anything, never really had a chance in life,always controlled by the fucked up justice system that stood there and let me get abused and neglected,i guess i didnt know how worthless i was till i was 7 years old and i was […]
My face shows no weakness
My body stands strong
but my soul, through the deepness
constantly longs
For a hero to come
come and rescue me
yet, I know there is no one
there’s no one here to see
The pain I always feel
lasting all this while
to know this hurt so real
can be hidden with a smile
~Fallenangel33
I wouldn’t have pictured myself here 3 years ago, let alone a week ago. I have failed so many. I have caused stresses for family and nearly every person’s life I have touched. My family chooses to love me because they are good people. They are not the type of people who deserve pain. Thank you for your effort. I had good intentions with my life 7-8 years ago but I came across one too many closed doors. I stayed strong. Believing, good is repaid with good and hard work leads to better futures. This was not the case for me. I am not in denial, this is […]
I wrote that on my arm last time I was on a psych ward, and then was about to take my life when the girl with learning disabilities across the hall from me came and knocked on my door wanting me to do her nails. She had been through so much and we were friends, she really didn’t deserve to have to watch me be brought out in a body bag which would have happened right outside her room. So I held on for a while and now I feel the same hopelessness again, the same desperation I just wish there was a way to […]
Well geez…. i dont even know where to start. My parents fought since i was little. My sister would cover my ears so i wouldnt hear it. We moved to ohio in the 4th grade from Sacramento and i attended a private school. I was made fun of for being hyper as well as colorblind, being asked if i was retarded or gothic because i like black so i quickly learned to shut the fuck up and keep out of the spotlight. I transferred to public school in 7th grade and it was better but still not good but I guess all the suicide nonsense […]
I wish I could smack all the people who lied to me and told me my life would get better just so that I would not kill myself. Since then my life has gotten progressively worse. I lost everything. My apt, my money, my personal possessions, went into premature labor at 6 months then lost a pregnancy for the second time in less than a year. In order to get through the day I would have to take 4 pills daily that have side effects like hair loss. weight gain (yippee) and the tendency to make me feel like a fucking zombie….I’ll pass. Death is […]
So my best friend lives in Cali where I used to live and it started to feel like we weren’t as close as best friends should be. But tonight I finally got the guts to tell her how I really feel and my addiction of cutting. She gave advice and told me things I should try. We had a really good talk and I feel kind of less lonely that I have someone to trust in fully with nothing to hide.
Someone for a short period of time brought my soul back from the deeps of nothingness and I was able to feel again. Isn’t that suppose to be a good thing? I hate it! I wish that person would have never touch my sleeping soul if only to throw it away! I just want to crawl back into the nothingness and feeling less. But the probably is it hurts just like last time to crawl back in the water. Just like it hurt to crawl out. Why did you bother?! You brought me more pain than joy! Can’t I just be left alone?! I had […]
Hello, well if you haven’t read my other post my name is bree, I’m 16 yrs old & I lost my dad & a brother to suicide within 2 year after their deaths I droppes outta school & didn’t do anything but sleep up to 20 hours a day i gave up on life.
Its been 2 months now that I’ve gone back to school & learned how to cope with my depression, all I gave myself was time& now I’ve got a job interview on Monday & I have the opportunity to graduate on time. Life is falling back into place I thought id […]
I hate people.
I hate being fed up.
I hate seeing people I used to be friends with being happy without me.
I hate Facebook.
I hate being tired.
I hate the movie theater.
I hate love.
I hate that guy who I have a crush on who is embarrassed to be my friend in public, but loves to videochat for hours whEn it is just the two of us.
I hate that I let people use me.
I hate my parents.
I hate my siblings.
I hate school.
I hate drugs.
I hate that my friends do drugs.
I hate being an ugly person.
I will be off to college next august and I’m debating whether or not to try out the first semester before ending my life during winter break or ending it before college starts.  This decision needs to be made soon so that I can plan my summer. Should I get a summer job in order to go on a trip or prep and plan for my end? I know it’s really up to me, but for all you non 14 year-old, experienced ladies and gentlemen I would appreciate your opinion! Should I get a taste of college? I don’t like starting things I don’t plan […]
i wlak through everyday in an utter state of depression i look at everything negativley and the only time im ever in a semi content state is when im not sober i hate being sober because when im sober i have to think about shit i jsut hate it..i guess im just gonna go to bed i hope i dont wake up
Okay,
So, 2 weeks ago, I planned to kill myself on Monday. I sent my ex-counselor a goodbye e-mail on Sunday, but instead of killing myself, I ended up going to a Psychiatric hospital and stayed there for a week and a half. He sent me an e-mail on Monday and Tuesday, but I am no longer able to access the e-mails. I know I should tell him that I’m okay, and that I’ve been in a hospital, but I’m not sure if I’m going to stay alive. You see, I wanted to stay longer at the hospital, but the staff said I was ready to […]
I feel as if I know the end is near, but I’m not sure exactly when. I’m just very… happy about that. I’m incompetent and unable to live a life anywhere near worthy or fulfilling and it’s just so great to be near the end. It’s the only feeling that motivates me or instills any sense of pleasure within me. I’m just… done! Done, and it’s great.
I had it all ready. Everything was in place. Time. Method. I was scared, but I knew that I just had to overcome that fear. This was going to be like ripping off a bandaid: it was going to hurt for a very short time, but in a little while, its existence in the first place would be forgotten.
I told the only two people in the world who would care or it would impact in the slightest. The one had known for months (lets call her Olympia). The other I had only known for a few weeks, but we are very, very close because we […]
I’ve been listening to birdy a lot lately! i really love her voice and music.. it really speaks to me. if you haven’t heard of her you have to look her up on youtube.!
well this weeks been hard for me.. and I’m not even sure why.. it just seems like everyone leaving me… tho I’ve made a new friend which I’m so thankful for and i absolutely love her for heaping me. tho she may not know it. she is helping me..I’ve been thinking about suicide more an more….. i started puking again…. ugh why am i so messed up??? i badly want to cut… […]
I have a friend.
Well, yeah, I guess you could call her a friend. Her name is Margie, or at least that is what I’ve always called her.
The first time I met her she was nice. I liked her. Even had a crush on her for a period of time.
She was my freshman homecoming date, but only as friends.
We went to a football game a few weeks after that. Her and two other friends of ours.
She smoked weed. But I didn’t know that until we were in the forest behind the bleachers with a group of people, passing around a bowl.
I think it was a bowl. […]
Painted this a few nights ago. Not really sure what to think of it…Just thought there might be someone who does…
http://youtu.be/4511JmfxPSE