Ive been trying to type how I feel, but I just cant get my thoughts straight. I have this very often. I know what I want to say. And in my head I hear the exact sentence, I just cant get it of my lips. And its not only when talking about emotions, I also have it when I’m just in the middle of a random conversation. Like my brain kind of just stops and I just cant get the words out. The feeling of having something on the tip of your tongue, only difference is that I know what I want to say but […]
It’s been a rough few years, and not sure when to expect something better. Soon, actually, but it could end up not happening. I finished graduate school and moved in with family to help raise their kid. I didn’t have anything better to do. Of course with the economy, a job was hard to come by. I temped, but that ended. Two years after graduating I got a professional position, but it ended up not working out – for me or them. And now my old boss is trying to hire me. I just got a bad feeling about it as I got ready for […]
Feel so cold you burn?
Its like every nerve is being. Electrocuted at once.
Each time I get that look from him.
Like scum of the earth is better than me.
All alone surrounded by people
Humiliated disgusted ashamed to be me.
The feelings you send me reciprocated.
Why am I so in love with someone who hates me more we everyday?
I guess I must be that worthless of a person because he is all I have.
I do my best but everything is wrong.
What do I hav e to do to be worthy of love?
I don’t need to be like anymore.
Just not […]
Well she isn’t really evil just confused and naive.
I call her Mad Hatter cause she won’t tell me her name.
I think she need’s a friend (some good counseling really, shhh don’t tell her I told you that) , someone to talk to about why she makes the decisions she makes. I’m afraid for her because it’s a continuous cycle of bad judgement that leads to worse and worse circumstances. She’s very impulsive, especially when she gets emotional.
What makes this so bad is that she lives inside of me and if she gets into trouble we both will be in some trouble.
One day she will learn […]
Today was actually ok, my dad didnt yell that much my mom was nice and everything went pretty smoothly…only probelm is tommorows monday amd get to see all the bitchy cheerlearders and other annoying assholes…i wish my friends understood, whemever i start to tell them they get this wierd arkward lookso i always end up making it into a joke and pretend it was nothing. Im tired if trying to conform into to someome im not..i dont even know who i anymore. From basicaly kindergarden i was the “wierd kid” the one who was always too mature, my mom used to call me an […]
I guess this is what complete sadness feels like…to be completely hopeless(hope is only magical thinking anyway). I know why I pushed my ex away in those last few days. But, I’ll never know when or why she decided to leave(she was “gone” before I pushed her away); everything is an assumption.
I know you said if it was true love then I’d do everything I could to find it again, even with someone else. But, do you remember what you said to me when you were separated from your wife and living with Friend B? You said you would never love anyone as much as […]
Im sad because the one person who should love me says really bad things to me and hates me because i dont wanted to do as he says im not hurting anyone for not doing what he wants me to do i keep feeling that because of all the bad things that of happened i wonder if im not the problem theres been  bad people every where in my life and i cant get away from all of them they follow me i just feel ill never get away from all the bad people why do i feel for someone that hurts me so bad […]
“How can they know how it feels,” I ask my self as I’m crying, “To wake up the next morning and realize that you’ve just failed at dying? To drone on day after day searching for a reason, just one reason to stay?” They said they really cared for me and i was dumb enough to believe them. I trusted them, i lived for them, and now i never see ’em. They ran away, scared today to think of what ive become. A monster, a coward, a harbringer of a life thats become undone. And so I’ll end my solemn poem with these words i […]
If you’re here, it is fairly likely that the specter of suicide is in your life.
Maybe you have attempted it before, or many times like me. Perhaps the fifth anniversary of your most serious soiree into intentional drug overdose is on 6 March, like mine is.
And maybe, in the last five years, you have come to understand that at some level suicide will remain in the back of your mind. The bitter temptation of self-murder, when it translates into serious action that isn’t simply an attempt to gain perfectly understandable emotional support, is a cankerous thing. Each attempt makes the next more and more likely. […]
I’m feeling bipolar again. My ups and downs are becoming more noticeable. I had another nervous breakdown…Its just barely March, and I’m running out of fingers to count them on.
I’m stressed
I’m anxious.
I’m angry.
I’m sad.
I’m depressed.
I began snapping a rubber band against my wrist again. That feeling of pain that leaves marks, if only temporary, provide immediate relief from my life. I know a lot of you here know exactly what I’m talking about. That sweet sting…maybe you bleed. If you do, I’m jealous.
I wish I had the courage to bleed…but I’m stuck somewhere between my depression and the highs. Or maybe I’m just a […]
I have no happiness anymore. I have no motivation. No attention to school. No reason to live. This is my lowest point, and I can’t feel better. I just absolutely lost the will. My mind is filled with thoughts on life and a constant need to figure out the meaning of life. I guess I need to be high in order to be normal and to function. My cousin Jasmine and I haven’t seen each other in a long while. I am still in love, but love isn’t the meaning of life so there goes my will, especially since she’s my cousin so I can’t […]
So my closest friend qot locked up on Friday.I didn’t even qet a chance to hanq out with him and say bye before he left:(He’s qettinq locked up for six months.He’s only been out for four months what the heck!The last time he qot locked up he was suppose to do six months but the system qave him nine months,fuck the system!How are you qonna take someone that’s close to me?All of because he violated probation,It’s not like he did a felony!My friend Is a 52 hoova Crip so I already know someone In there Is qonna set-trip on him and there qonna start plexinq and my friend Is […]
i’m currently 18 years old (male), have a good circle of friends, supportive family, and have never really had any common struggles such as abuse or neglect. The thing is, i’m totally fucked inside. I’m a shell. I’ve always been told i’m attractive and i believe them partly. The thing is, i have a huge and weird shaped head. picture an upside down triangle. I used to have shorter hair when i was younger and i thought nothing of it. i used to get the odd comment like ‘you have a big head’ but it never used to bother me. i then realised that a […]
It probably has alot of spelling errors because I fail at writing ! Probably sucks to but w/e I’ll give it a shot her I go ….
BEAUTIFUL DISASTERÂ
She had a stern look on her face
She disappointed in me again
There’s no surprise
I always disspaont her
Hell I’m a fuck up
Why not asked like one
I sighed and look at her
She gonna speak … Great
And so she started
What should I do this time . Kiss her ass ?
“don’t play with razors ! It’s to god damn dangerous!
I Thought you were better than this fuck ! Grow up already!”
So went to my room […]
So Much Stuff Can Go Through A Girl’s Mind .. It’s Funny How At My Age I Had To Go Through All This, It’s Not Even Fair. I Turned 16 On January 29th .. My First Birthday Without My Father, Still None Cared.. Plus I Didn’t Wanted None To Feel Pitty For Me. As I Said On My Other Post .. My Mom Got A New Boyfriend .. We Moved To His House 3 Week’s go. I Had To Leave All My Friend’s Again And The Best-Boy Friend In The Whole World. She Moved My World Up Side Down Back Again Just Like She Did […]
Hi .(I mind stuttered typing this. I’m kind of nervous.)
I’m 15 years old almost 16 . I’ve been dealing with this for a few years . I’m scared to talk about it to anyone . I mean I have a loving parents , I mean the world to them ! They do so mch for them , and I love them sooo much . I’ve never been hit by them . I used to get bullied alot in joinor high he’ll I still do ! But I don’t give a crap what they say . Well now . I’m just comin to terms with […]
So yall can stop qettinq confused or just beinq assholes.I can spell!No one played a trick on me.I mean to put q Instead of g,oh wait did I make another mistake by puttinq a capitalized i.Oh that makes me sssssoooo stupid!If you have nothinq to say about what I put down then don’t be an ass and say “hey don’t you mean to say good”Uqh that qets on my nerves!I know how to spell so hop off my dick about that and qet a life!
If i were a super hero
would you love me then or leave me?
think of me as a freak
or, a justice peace fighter?
would you love me for who i was,
and take me as i am?
or, would i be to complicated still
to much for you to comprehend?
Your supposed to be a loving person
someone i’m supposed to look up to.
instead your someone who i just cant stand.
if i were a super hero
could i finally be your friend?
maybe you then you […]
You know you’d think your problems would end when you grow up, more time goes by everyday and i realize i had it so much more easier when i was sixteen then i do now.
everything started when i was fourteen i lost my grandmother and my dad in one year. my grandmother was just the start of my fathers depression. On my fathers side most of my family are bipolar and have anxiety. So with it i have also developed these unwanted traits. after my father passed my whole world dropped. I started contemplating suicide at sixteen and i was always a failure at it. […]
Hello my name is bradley and i am 28 yrs old—heres a little back story—i had a rough upbringing my mother is a lieing evil womam—who put me 30000 dollers in debt before i was 18 not saying it was all her fault i just trusted her to do whats right. well when i was 25 i was diagnosed with m.s and in a very short period of time —i lost my well paying job as a millwright my fiance of 4 yrs went straight into another mans arms 4 mnths preg with our son who she will not let me see—-my entire familly turned […]