So me and my boy were walking home from school not to long ago and I wwas crossing the street when a car come zooming past I almost got hit my life flashed before my eyes. Should I have tooked that last step and gotten hit! Idk I wish it would of hit me

My story starts about 5 months ago when I left a really good job that I done for over 5 years and the pay was great. My wife and dad said not to leave the job, i have two kids. 

I left this job because I had arranged to drive a taxi that my f@@@ing brother in law said that the pay was good and hours were reasonable because he was doing it (he lied so I can be like him), thinking more money and good hours might as well go for it. Resigned from my good job and my colleagues told me to take a […]

FYI – you have to do it for more than five minutes

try it … but commit to it like you have when you criticized yourself. Like anything that is worth while, it takes time, practice and patience but most of all it takes commitment.

positive dawg

Last night, i wanted to die so badly.

i hate myself.

ill always hate myself.

i am not good enough.

never have been never will be.

im a disgrace to my family and friends.

im just a fuck up.

they’ve all stopped trying to save me.

so i should stop to.

im damaged beyond repair.

i dont know what else to do.

i really dont.

i hate myself.

i just feel its best if i dissappear…

I’m at school with my iPad and I feel obliged to post something.

Ive sort of been depressed all week now I realize, it’s just been one of those weeks. I’m not diagnosed with being bipolar, but it bloody feels like it. I hate how I only get to spend about an hour each day with my best friend, it’s not enough. I feel lonely as fuck.

The realization has sort of come over that the school I go to really sucks balls. Every second girl is a slit. The teachers are shit with like two exceptions I’ve only been taught by once each. The people here […]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I should never have left my old girlfriend, I should have been a bit more grown up when it came to school. I shouldn’t have reacted when my father left my mother for one of my school teachers at the time. I should have just switched classes instead of throwing a perfectly good A grade down the drain.

Anyway 3 years later I’m living in a poor dump of a shared house. Paint peeling off the walls, thieving housemates and a crooked landlord. All my friends have left for University, something I once aspired to do. I’m out of work, […]

I hate feeling the way that ”we” do. I hate feeling so sad and lonely all the time. I hate having to pretend all the time, transforming myself into someone else in order to “fit in” and be liked. I just want to let it all out, let the darkness take over and let the world see how depressed and messed up i really am.

I was raped many times by my older brother when i was younger. But i was so young that i didn’t know what rape was, and so i i thought it was okay what my brother made me do and […]

Anyone who believes in God. If you does, then please tell me your religion. I’m a non-believing muslim. I believe in God, but i do not follow the full requirements, you have to follow as a muslim.

Please,  preferably no prejudice, because I am Muslim.

Tnhx for your understandingness.

I would like to think that if just one person, just one, would care, would look at me and see the slipage, the intense pain, the sick desperate need, and do something, say something, that maybe it wouldn’t be too late. Maybe I’m still fixable and worth something more than fish food. I’m not, I know that, but if I’m going to wait and plan and try to do this last thing as right as I can, I need to think it until the details are worked out and my time is up. I want my time to be now. Now. Every second is one […]

I miss being happy.

I find myself wishing by chance someone will just hit me in a car crash. Shoot me. Stab me. Beat me into a coma. Hell there is bleach in the next room.

I don’t know why I’m so sad, I wrote on here the other day thinking it would help. My life is good after all I am just so tired of looking like I’m so happy when I am not. It takes work putting on a constant show and making appearance. I want to cry…..

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=Rh6qYhF6SCs

People don’t kill themselves because they want to end their life, they do it to end the pain.
And I don’t want to feel the pain anymore, it hurts to much…

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything, let alone posted anything… I think December was the last time I posted? I’m too lazy to check (even though it is a few clicks). I’ve been a diagnosed depression patient for almost 5 years now, dunno how long I’ve actually been depressed for though, seems like it’s been for a good chunk of my life though

There was a certain moment in my life when I reallyy really wanted to kill myself. And then there was those other moments when I was really close to that… though even in my most jaded of times, I still had some sliver […]

ive been cutting my self – doing drugs for awhile now basically quit them both for about 2 weeks and to be honest ive never felt worse anyways more to the point my grandad recently died i kind of hoped that this would scare me idk to make me relies how much pain i would cause people if i died .. but it dident i have allready tryed to commit sucide twice.i suprised my self at the furinel (ime dislexic that why almost everyting is misspelt ) becouse i cryed a bit the reason this suprised me wos becouse i thought i wos dead on […]

I am doing this because there is a small part of me that doesn’t want to die. The rest of me is sure that this gun sitting in my lap is the answer for all my problems. Being born from day one with a debilitatingmedical condition is one thing but it time and time again hurting me holding me back, making me lame and weird growing up and a psycho into adult-hood is about all I can take. After finding my insurance canceled me as a client and won’t re-consider the same week I find out I am going to need surgery is the last […]

The entire fabricated lie that people believe is transparent to me. I know that i’m not alone in my vision of the truth, but it often times feels that way. I believe this is just another systematic attempt by the powers that be, to remove any possible threats to the status quo.

Regardless of why, the fact is that i feel like dying most every day. I’m a socially retarded fear based being. I don’t value the things that the masses do, thereby effectively isolating myself from everything and everyone.

If i didn’t know love, then i’d be dead by now. the only thing keeping […]

Ever had that feeling you just gotta get out your body you just gotta tell someone. Should I tell someone confused.

I’m in a strange mood.  I would almost say a good mood, but I feel that’s misleading. It’s not that my suicidal desires are gone, but that they’re simply pushed back in my mind.  I know it’s a bad idea to self-diagnose, but moods like this make me wonder if I could be bipolar.  I feel like my current mood could be described as a hypomanic episode.  For instance, even though I only had maybe four hours of sleep last night, I feel energetic. I want to go out and do something.  If I had friends I’d call them up and maybe we’d go to […]

I went a week without burning…then i just did it again…i love it way too much

Yea I’m sure there will be few to shred some tears over me but I am such a disapointment I actually would be doing them a favor..see I on other people because I’m such a fuck up I always ruin everything and I can see the look on peoples faces..they wish they could get rid of me..I see I’m nothing but a burden. Wat hurts the most is I have a child. A beautiful 3 years old princess. But I can’t afford tip take care of her I know in the future she will be so hurt and you probably say how can you […]

I just want to be with him again.

he was the only one that really got it.

why do i have to be here,

and not there?

why couldnt i have stuck up

to our suicide pact?

i hate myself, i really do.

i hope i die.

i want to shoot myself so badly.

why did he have to leave me

here and make me suffer

so much? i wish

i could just find one other

person that cares and

wont let me go…