Well I failed 2 previous times to keep the mask on. After reading some NDE stories I would think it would reflect the natural process of having the lungs stop.

I was thinking to use a nother mode, when it hit me I wasn’t ready, I stilll might not be ready.

All I know to believe is what I’ve been reading in the NDE stories.

Its a choice, my physical self isn’t going to want to allow me to pass out, because it knows once your unconscience your a goner.

I dislike failures at this stuff.

I’ve been reading here, off and on, for a little while now. Most of you, as far as I can see, have had horrible lives. I can understand why you’d be in such pain and feel so bad about yourselves when you’ve been through so much. In many ways I envy you. My life is fine. I’ve not been abused or addicted to anything or any of the 101 horrible things that can and have happened to you. You have a reason to feel bad. I don’t. The only thing wrong with my life is me.

Some of you cut yourselves or have actually tried to commit […]

my brother and his wifeand our sister are coming or Christmas, i’m not really looking foreward to it. Three extra people in my little apartment, that’s my safe place, where I go and no one bothers me cuz no one notices i exist. If they are all there, I won’t be able to purge, cut self-injure and I’ll probably have to eat 3 times a day to make it look like I’m “normal”

I don’t know that I can do this. It’s hard enough being depressed and suicidal without having to hide it all the time. I usually can go […]

Hi, gang.  I just came across this website and decided to add my own two cents worth.  A little background on me is that I’m a 45 year old, single woman, who has a history of depression, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, suicidal since the age of 13 or 14 (around the same time the sexual abuse happened), been through breast cancer treatment and hates her life.  In October 2010, I got caught up in the perfect storm of depression.  Unbelievably depressed, lonely and in physical pain, I decided I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I decided to take 14 Ambien in the hopes that […]

Hello, all. I just joined this group literally minutes ago. Have been doing extensive research for the last year on dignified self-initiated ending of life.
I am a 39-year-old grandmother of 1. I also have my beloved pets who have, up until recent desperate times, hindered my decision to exit. “What would happen to them?” “Would they be okay???” Well, that all has-for better or worse-been amended to what is best for ME?
Not to sound like a a one-upper, superlative *****, but if I were to explain the complete circumstances of my life-I’d be neck-to-neck with many people here as far as trauma goes.

i dont know. all i know is i dont want to be here anymore.

im lonely, im sad, im alone. i hate myself so much, i have everything i need, more than enough yet im still unhappy.

im 15, 16 on the 24th january. and so far ive had more downs that ups. right now i want to cut every piece of flesh on my body just so id feel better. im so alone.

please dont think im a winey teenager whos going through puberty a little bit harder than normal because this isnt what it feels like. its not at all. im so sad,i cry all the […]

Where are you from and what age are you?

At what age did you first contemplate suicide?

What is your preferred method?

there’s a place in my country that like-minded souls drown. we call it ‘the hotspot’. i see news about a new body found every week and we all keep our fingers counting, while keeping tabs on each other. i only know a few others from my country. those bodies fished out are always strangers. there’s a young man unable to cope with pressure, a mother who took her and her son’s lives, a missing person, and one woman and man. i watched those news with a envy eye. its cruel.  i haven’t in it in me to feel sorry. i’ve spoken to lots of ‘friends’ from all over the world. […]

People depress me.

I hate them.

It’s shocking how completely evil they can get and that’s considered NORMAL.

Fuck Normal.

Fuck everyone.

Why should I die when everyone else is the problem?

WHY!?!

im not trying to score any points here. but A.S initals of the most important person in my life. shes my girlfriend as well as my best friend. i was lost until her. not syaing im found now but it helps a lot knowing that there is someone there. i wanted to say this because for the people who dont think there is something or someone out there who can save u…. ur fucking wrong. im here you have me. someone is there. go find em.

i do my best to stay away from both of them. i was a druggie, a meth head. crack pot. pothead call me what you want. thats what i was.
– 6th grade: first ciggarete first hit out of a bong. first shot
– 7th grade: more weed more cigs. but this time, first drunk, first aolcohol posioning. first time doing coke
– 8th grade: a lot more week a lot more alcohol a lot of cigs but a lot of coke…. but first time doing meth. shrooms. over the counter percription. getting cross faded. xanex ectacy. codiones. adherol.
– 9th grade: first time realizing…. […]

i wake up. and as cliche as it is i look myself in the mirror…. and throw up. im in such disgust of myself and who ive become. i was raised in a loving home and i dont know how but somehwere along the line between the ages of 12-16 i turned corupt. i started forming a black hole where my heart should be. i dont know what happened. i go to school seeing all the faces. depicting all the various emotions from the littlest gestures. weather it be how they walk, with their head down being pushed around by people who refuse to walk […]

I used to be suicidal. I guess I’m not anymore, but I still have thoughts about it. I’m the oldest of four. I had a half brother bt he’s in prison…i call it abandonement. He was the failure to my parents, so they take his mistakes and are always extra careful with me. I can never be my self around them. I always feel like a dirty little ungrateful liar. I hate it.
Everybody tells me I’m so pretty. I look in the mirror everyday and see this pathetic, ugly loser who hides who she is, but doesnt know how to reveal her true self. […]

I”m sick and tired of living this shitty life: no g/f, better jobs are worthless to come by, etc. NO ONE CARES PERIOD!

Where do I start…

Well my attitude is never consistent with regards to whether I’m cool, pissed, despressed etc…It’s always oscillating.

Even though no one can know who I am on here, I still feel awkward stating what my problem is…. (YES, I DIAGNOSED MYSELF)

Suicide thoughts whirl around my head once in a while but were very rampant from Sept 2010.

Actually i’m confusing myself right about now… I dunno

I don’t know where people get the courage to actually go that far anyway. I’m too much of a ***** to attempt it, whether it being ODing to hanging or whatever…

Self-harming is a no go area for me aswell… If I did […]

The marks on my arms
the needle in my hand.
The ugly stabs
that was on the tip.
I must hide away
I must fade somewhere.
The rules i must exceed
to be perfect.
In the eyes of others
i’m coated with make up
the long sleeves i wear
i hide no cuts.
The poison i inject
in my body
it is not drugs
that wears out my body
that flows in my veins
as it crease into my body.
I didn’t pass out from the needles
it was what i had become
it was the need to be perfect
It was the need from […]

Hello. Thanks for stopping by.
I am perhaps crazy, since I have a good life and all. To explain the good life, I shall provide some background information. My parents are divorced, and I have three siblings. I believe that we siblings are spoiled. We do have food at night, which shows we’re fortunate. Screw the good life for now, at least for this lengthy out-of-order post. 

It all began early when I was 6 or 7. I never understood the reason to live. I begged God to kill me. Then in other memories I remember wishing for my parents to come back alive and […]

Who on here is suicidal and living in Ireland?? I seem to have come across a few so far….

I don’t know who I am, I never really knew who I was. But i know I’m tired of myself & I’m only 15..maybe these years have just been too long for me. There are few who know about me, my depression for three years & my struggles with eating disorders. That doesn’t matter though, they don’t actually know me, they just know about me.
It all started in grade 7, I took a firm glance into the mirror & wanted to cry. I was straight up ugly, I was chubby & i wore glasses & to myself I looked like an orphaned monkey. That […]

Hi all, I’m new to this site. I was led here from another site about suicide. So I started reading through some of the posts on here and found I could relate to so many of them. I decided to post my ramblings. I apologize in advance if this is extremely long. I just want to get out what’s been bottled up for a while now.

I’m only 20 years old and I feel like a failure. Like I have no real future. Like my life has no purpose. Recently, I’ve been thinking about suicide. About a month ago I took a walk and not too far […]