When people close to us know or sense that we are suicidal they feel so helpless to stop it

They just stop texting, calling, eamiling,

It has to be painful for them, waiting for, yet never wanting to receive that knock on the

door, or have look out there window and see a squad car turning in.

They know that they will be hearing of our death.

Its too much for them too bare, so the fear keeps them from staying in contact, like a self protection

mode.

My dreams are the only things that keep me alive, that give me the strength
to move forward, that give me a purpose to move on and that shines light on to the path i choice.I will not move or breakdown when you push me, its what i want, its my life and i don’t live to please you, so know when your unwanted

So I kind of have a plan of what I’m going to do.
My life is worthless just sitting around, working my crappy retail job and not being able to pay my bills. I really want to go back to school and get a degree in something, but I don’t have the money, or the grades to get a scholarship.
So, I’ve decided to join the army or army reserve. That way, I can go to school, I’ll have a place to live, I’ll go through fat camp and boot camp so I won’t be such a fatass anymore, I’ll have a job which […]

So I am 24 years old, I am 14 000$ in dept, only have a highschool education seeing as I dropped out of college twice now. I am unemployed and soon to be homeless as of February 1st. I have been trying to find a job to try and get some money going so I can get an apartment but it is seeming impossible, not even getting call backs. I have decided that I have pretty much made enough mistakes in my life that its getting near the irreversible point and am looking to end my life in as painless a way as possible. I […]

It seems that we are all over the world, and when I’m on the site

there is a flurry at different times of the day.

What part of the world are you in ?

Fuck it. It’s going to happen anyway. (Soon. After the hoilday’s) It will end. (me). So do i feel sad.? (yes) but i can not live like this. I’m hate in this.
I’m not here for this.
If i’m not enjoy in this.

All fled all done so lift me on the pyre.
The feast is over and the lamps expire

If anyone saw me or knew about my life they’d think how lucky I am. I’m in a steady relationship and have a roof over my head with loving family.  I do have friends at school, and a lot of people tell me I’m pretty.

BUT;

That’s from the outside. No one knows anything about me from the inside. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can’t talk to my christian family because they’ll just laugh it off as a joke. my boyfriend does understand me but he can’t do anything to help me. i can’t talk to anyone else because i’m afraid of what they’ll say […]

This was an effective tool for me when I hit rock bottom. Everyday I woke up in the morning it was hard getting out of bed and I’d feel like shit.  http://i.imgur.com/zoH3R.jpg

i find myself waking up places i dont remember getting to. in situiations any normal 16 year old shouldnt be in. in the back of a car going 120 on a freeway with a person you dont know driving. i black out (and im not on drugs) and just wake up. idk whats going on. i think im going insane

so something weird happened to me the other day. i was standing in my friends bathroom and i hit my back against the wall and slid down because i fainted. i’ve only fainted one other time in my life, but i dont really remember. my friend also saw me do that. so me and her decided to look up people fainting on youtube. and what we found was the fainting game. and what you do it pretty much make yourself faint by taking away oxygen from your brain by blowing on your thumb. and so i decided to try it. and well, it was interesting. […]

hey im new here, but ive lately realized that i dont believe in god… ever since this has happened, ive been staying up at night unable to fall asleep shaking and thinking about death. this has been going on about every other night for about a month… i know its sort of strange but ive lately considered killing myself just to make it stop… its horrible the sorts of things i think about when im like that…

Hey it’s me broken. I haven’t been on here in months. I doubt anyone remembers me. I don’t recognize any body from when I was here. Just wanted to say hello and that no matter what you need to smile. Cause once you reach that point of total darkness and your right about to break well that’s the moment you can be free but only if you try hard.

So, like most people here I’ve been around reading posts every so often. And like Everybody else I too have been depressed. But today something happened that changed my life, and I hope that it might impact some people thinking the same things I was.

So a little bit about my background: I grew up in a middle class family through private schools with parents who love me. However I’m socially awkward, and spent most of my childhood on the computer rather that connecting with people. I’m not very good at any sports and up until this year I was failing academically. I thought I was […]

hello every 1 my name is james i live in ireland my story begins from a very young age back in juiniour infants or as you say in U.S.A. where a lot of you are from kinder guarden i was avoided alot because i was the new kid and all the other kids over the years took this as an advantage to pick on me for fun.   Because i had no 1 to talk to i want very depresed and stated talking to myself just to pretend i had some 1 to talk to to make me happy and I still do this up to this […]

hello everyone….

i feel really dumb and stupid. i have this boyfriend but i want to brake up with him becuase i love someone else. I dont know what to do? he makes it so hard for me to brake up with him. And another thing is tha my family has no respect for me just my mom.

love esmeralda

I just don’t see what the point of going on and living is anymore. If I’ll never have lasting happiness, whats the point? I have no friends, my last friend just gave up on me I guess. So, nobody would miss me anyways. And the feeling, the feeling that I know in my heart that the one thing I desire most in this world will never happen to me. It is one of the worst feelings ever. I think about death on a daily basis. How I will kill myself, when and everything else. And what it will feel like to be dead. I imagine […]

I struggled not cut

Struggled not to cry

Struggled to put my fake smile on

I just want to meet someone who knows how i feel. Struggling isn’t working. About to stop it all…

i always feel so used. No one accepts me for me. i’m assaulted everyday by both dudes and chicks grabbing my tits, it makes me sick! you’re supposed to be my friend. the one who doesn’t care about the size of my chest or my ass. I’m supposed to feel safe around you. i hate my body. if i could, i would get these DDD’s chopped off my chest. if i was ballsy enough, i would do it my self.

i spent the night with you as a friend, but left, feeling like a piece of meat. you touched me, in a way friends weren’t meant to. you […]

I figured it might help to put something into words what I might be feeling as i got the bad news. i was thinking how bad could things be for him to want to die. the pills and the bridge just as last time. the cops caught him because the pills made him too weak to jump. the last time he was too afraid to jump. he said afterwards he felt really bad how he hurt the family and scared us so badly. i wish he had courage, hope, faith and love so that he would wait around to see the good things in life […]

Saturday morning I have a, what I think could be, the beginning of what could help me start changing my life, my outlook on life and myself. I am putting in every once of effort I have into that challenge but… if in 120 hours I fail… I’m quiting altogether. If in 120 hours I don’t accomplish what I’ve set out to do… the earth can have my body back and if their is a God… I’ll simply flash Him a wicked smile as He sentences me an eternity in Hell for ending my life early. CXX…