I never meant to be back here, never meant to start cutting again, but I did.  It’s surprising the temptation a small pocket knife can bring in the right mood.  It’s amazingly sharp too.  The little droplets of blood just bead up like dewdrops with a small scratch.  I’m too much of a coward to try anything deeper.  It does feel calming.  I’m not even going to think about how to explain them to anyone just yet.  With any luck, the weather will stay cold and I won’t have to.

Was I bewitched so by the thin red line,
To notice not that time released its hold,
And let pale Iris snip the silver twine,
To steal sweet youth before it turns to Gold,
Exsitence now is not what I was told,
No seraphim and harps to grace my ear,
Just silence, painful silence, and the cold,
Discomfort of my masochistic fear,
So icy cold yet somehow seems to sear,
My soul until the ache is too much to bare,
As mortal life mirages now appear,
Intangible are they away they tear,
Mistake it was the curtain fell too soon,
When razor’s edge did charm […]

I held the knife so close to my heart,
Like a foolish child, I sat and cried,
Didn’t realize what I had done, what I had tried,
Tears mixed with blood, falling slowly to the ground,
Covered in blood, pulled myself up, and in tears scribed:
To those who don’t care,
To those who don’t see,
Never give up,
Always strive to be free.
Didn’t know how many people would later cry,
Tried to be free, yet this isn’t the way,
Friend at the door, ran as fast as she could,
Too weak to say sorry, otherwise I would,
In tears, looked at the sad […]

I’m great, fine, spectacular.
In a way, I relish every night,
And live everyday,
I live, I laugh,
I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then, I get home,
And take off the mask,
The day, and the almost impossible task, finally over,
So, I lie down,
And wait patiently for the day I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
Even though I have promises to keep,
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
and I ache, and burn from my very core.

Then, I’m not alone,
And the mask reappears:
Out goes grief, pain, and all of the […]

please some one m**der me im tired of life end it pls

Has anybody hung themselves and lived? if so what did it feel like?

I can’t seem to help myself. I’m drawn to this site. It’s how I start my days. And I frequented the general section today. Off and on, wondering what to say. I don’t really have a story…not a short one. I’m not suicidal or even depressed, but I feel for you who come here and I can relate on certain levels because I have been suicidal in the past. I attempted suicide when I was a young teenager with pills. No one could even tell because it was the wrong kind of pills and probably not enough. I can go back in my mind and […]

So my family and I put up all the christmass decorations and all the trees up.. Its really depressing. I really love christmas to the point where i want to cry but i just cant do it. It hurts to be teased with all this joy and then dec. 26th its all gone. back to being depressed. i hate this but i love it! F*ck Life.

Suicide tonight….
Email: idiotsoftheworld2@gmail.com
Password:idiotsoftheworld2
Adieu and see you all in the next world.

does anyone know of any cases where someone didn’t die but just paralyzed part of their body.

At Thanksgiving dinner my uncle paused all the conversions and asked the table what their passion was. Everyone was taking their turn and saying things like golf, brewing, home care, horses. (family was excluded) When it came my turn I realized… I didn’t have a passion. I don’t love to do anything. A passion is something that your always relating other things to, something that is always on your mind. The only thing that fits those requirements for me is the thought of dying, or more specifically killing myself. Its all I ever think about, it’s on my mind 24/7. Its all I want right now, […]

I think in darkness we are able to snap out of the “routine world”. See life more than jobs, cars, shopping centers… We see humans. We see them going to work, going home, making plans, seeing friends, making mistakes, and moving on. We see their problems, and their worries. We see their goals and desires.

I have always though of life as a story you watch on TV. Even at times, I see myself like I was on the screen. I sit there, and I contemplate. Life is confusing, and the future is always uncertain. When is it going to end? What am I suppose to […]

It’s no damn wonder there are people like myself out there who see no other way out than suicide. People, humanity as a whole, sucks!
I have a very thin hold on my sanity now as it is. I am trying to get some things in my life in order so I don’t leave my family with any more of a burden than the ones they will already be dealing with in the event of my death.
I am not a pretty woman, I never have been, never will be and I’ve lived with it all my life. No amount of nice clothing, […]

This is my first time posting on this site though I have read it a bit before.
I’m 18 and have had a pretty shitty past 3 years. For the first two I was depressed and suicidal before it apparently turned to anxiety last year (or so I’m told be my doctors). I’ve been pushed around to 10 different therapists and doctors within this time. I miss those for to years more than anything. When I was depressed I was able to function – although like a zombie – and though resolute on wanting to die did not feel much of anything else. It was […]

Ok let’s be honest who wants to be depressed for years that sucks. This is my solution use what u have if u have some weed use it, got some benzos
use it. All im saying why be depressed feel good, and when u don’t need the drugs wean yourself off just by me reading these posts no one should feel like killing yourself get high not to high just to feel good u can save a addict but u can’t save someone who already taken there life think about it

It took me over an hour to get out of bed this morning.  It wasn’t because I was tired.  I had slept for 12 hours.  But I didn’t want to get up.  I didn’t want to be awake.

I don’t know how I am going to get through this semester.  Papers to write, assignments to do, tests to take and hopefully not fail.

I am so tired.

The depression immobilizes me.  I can never seem to get everything done.

I wish I could stop time.

When we part ways at the end of each day, we smile and wave goodbye, occasionally spewing some witty statements as our final words until the next day. I always end up finding myself resisting the urge to wrap my arms around you, but I’m aware that this would be crossing some sort of line. Our relationship is simply too formal for that.

People tell me that it’s strange that nothing has happened between us given how much time we spend together. I spend all my time with you, every day of the week but Saturday, and even though we base our meetings around academics, I […]

Hello everyone,

I thought I would post about myself, though whether anyone reads these I dont know, and I’m sure my story is nothing special. I am young, I just graduated, I spent three years at university trying to hide my depression. I made friends, but I dont keep in touch with any of them, I dont want to talk to anyone I know any more. I have come away to a foreign country with my savings, I lied to everyone, making up different reasons for coming – some think I am volunteering, others working. Truth is I do nothing but lie in bed all day […]

I’ve been wondering just how long I could make it before the benefits of ‘giving up’ outweighed the cons. A few years feeling the way I do seems to have done the trick. I have so much going for me; a good education, a roof over my head, a wonderful group of friends and a brother and sister who love me. Unfortuantely for every good thing there was a bad thing; a hateful, cotemptuous father, an emotionally absent mother, an abusive ex-girlfriend, a run of incapacitating bad health. I’m an academic. So it pleases me to see this as a problem, just an equation that […]

Each day I tell myself to get through one more day……  what I consider to be real opportunity and logical timing are right on the horizon….the very things that guide my want and need to end this misery are the right here with me….day after day…but I feel so caught in this quagmire of inaction…I keep adding “extensions”… the next chance will be here soon…. and I worry I will just add another extension and keep self-perpetuating my own misery just to spare people I love sadness and hurt…..

….. I am already nauseated by all the “its the holidays…love and cheer” happy crap I could […]