“What  the fuck were you thinking!!!???  Do you care!!??? Does it even bother you!!???  You almost killed yourself and who knows how many other people!!!”

No… I couldn’t find even an ounce of regret.  I have searched the deepest parts within me and no, I didn’t care.  It doesn’t bother me… Is that bad?

What would have happened that night?  Oh God, I am suicidal, but maybe a little more subtle than a gun to my head.  I am reckless, completely and totally to the point that the thought of dying is barely an afterthought.  I’m consciously putting my life in as much danger at any given […]

I’ve once more attempted suicide and failed I’m 14 I have a creative mind I guess I’ll just have to see what happens tomorrow I’ve realized I do need someone to talk to so if you can just please comment.

It’s the loneliest feeling in the world – to find yourself just sitting there and not knowing anything or who you are anymore. To have everybody ask how you are, and not really know what to say. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, everything closed. And you aren’t sure whether you’re walking toward something, or if you’re just walking away. I hate what I’ve become to escape what I couldn’t handle being.. and I don’t know whether I was actually getting better, or I was just getting used to the pain.

I realized long ago […]

I posted on here nearly a year ago, when I was fifteen. Well, I’m sixteen now, and things have not improved in the least.

My dad is still an angry, violent alcoholic. My mom still stands behind him. I still come home with outstanding grades, only to be put down by my parents, saying it still isn’t good enough. That I’m not even trying.

Here’s the thing; I actually haven’t been trying. I can’t anymore. The depression has turned. I used to cry a lot, and reach out to friends when I was at my worst. Now, I don’t feel much of anything. I have no motivation, […]

This is it, I’m sitting on the edge of no return and theres no take backs. I wish I could just make my life better but I was born this way and can’t change it. I’m 19, never kissed a girl and no physical contact with girls in my life. I have almost no friends and all of them are boring and never want to have fun. I’m short and socially awkward. I thought I was good looking but I guess I’m not due to the nothingness that people see. Everyone rejects me, I’m a nobody. If I had a gun in my hand ready […]

Why am I at this point? I suppose that’s what many of us who get to this point will ask! I know. I have been in hell physically sick, never well, a day here and there, but no meaningful life for 3 years now. That’s enough. I am 33 and have no quality of life, no one who cares about me or stuck by me through my illness. It has grown old to everyone, like Oh…she’s sick again, and now not even my parent’s are here. I lost my husband, my job, my health, my mentality, and close to losing my spirituality as well. I […]

I don’t understand why people always get so upset about this subject or why there is such a social stigma about suicide. If I can choose to take the life of my unborn child, legally, why can’t I choose to take my own life? I honestly don’t understand why that is wrong. The most ardent pro-choice people I know are totally against suicide. People don’t like suicide because of how it will affect them, personally. They are not thinking about the pain the person who wants to die is going through; they are thinking of their own pain of losing someone.

When I say, “suicide is a […]

I have never thought of an afterlife simply because it made no sense!
But lately i need something to believe in.. i’m not religious but I dream of an island… With huge expansive plains… Wheat fields, frozen mountains. Basically all the beauty of Earth only I can control it! It’s true paradise and I CAN’T WAIT TO DIE AND GET THERE! I know this sounds so stupid but it would be soo insanely great

im 14 years old and i have good friends, im not good at school and i hate my life, it isnt the friends nor the school, i hate my mother, she told me that if i think my parents dont love me i should go away from home, or they want to give me away, or theyre just waiting for me to get 18 so they dont have to care for me anymore, im always helping my parents if they want me to do something but they only see the negative side of me… i do my best at school but i only get bad […]

Why do we suffer? I feel like somehow all this is making me grow. I find it very hard to believe that we suffer this much and nothing comes out of it, maybe that’s why I’m searching for hope all the time and waiting. To suffer like this, there’s bound to be something that’ll be worth it all. I don’t know if it’s worth it, but I can say from what I’ve heard and managed to feel before, maybe it is worth it; to function, to be happy, to be alive. We can “treat” all these mental disorders sometimes, such as depression, anxiety, OCD, or […]

I have been a good, honest, hardworking and creative person all my life, but luck and the support of other people usually were not with me. No matter how hard i try i never fitted in and people did not like me although i never did anything wrong directly (or indirectly, as far as i know). And now i am in the most desperate situation you could imagine, crying frequently, not taking any pleasure from life, keeping a very serious and sad face all the time, distancing myself from people (thanks to their attitude!) etc.

Have been searching the best method for a long time. […]

It’s not fair, I was actually beginning to feel something and now it’s gone. I was really trying, and then it just began to crumble down just like everything else in my life. I don’t know how anyone is supposed to live with this and “move on” and keep on trudging through life.. What’s the point in that if I’ve felt bad for majority of my life. I’m holding on to my last few threads of hope and I’m holding really tight.. It’s my last stand.. but that’s the thing I always have a last stand.. Whenever I see the smallest glimpse of hope, I […]

Okay this is really it I’m 14 my closest relative has died I broke up with my boyfriend in failing school. The only thing left is suicide I’m sorry I was such a failure I guess I wasn’t the person you wanted to know I wrote my note for my mom to read this I don’t want her to he surprised she knew it was coming she wouldn’t let me get help now I’m saying my goodbyes for this is the end.

when the time comes, i can’t stand in the rain. it hurts me too much because the rain drops are my tears, and they burn me like fire. i feel pain for my sister, and my parents, my friends and for those i don’t even know. no one deserves to feel the pain, so i’ll feel it for them. is it selfish of me?? am i suppose to hurt for them?? or am i suppose to die?? 12 slits and i’m not even dead.

im not sure why im even bothering to write this  here. maybe its because i have no one else i can talk to. well let me lay the story out for anyone if anyone reads this, im currently 21, within the past few years, my dad committed suicide, my grandma and brother both lost their fights with cancer, i got married and he now left me, but throughout the course of the marriage i lost my friends, because i was so caught up with my husband. i had a miscarriage, and my two dogs that i loved as much as my family, were taken from […]

What do i do now, when i can no longer find any reason to live and yet so many to die?

This week is like July all over again! Who knew i would come back to something that happens every year. Really? Three arugements in one week. Saddens gather up in to dust and all they say was a mask. Just that who knew that someone you know was this close to commiting suicide on you. Get you worry all day just thinking will i ever see them again. If i had to aruge about something like this? we are really crupted. By the way he didnt do it. He was close but he didnt. This much worrying over one person? It seems i always worry […]

 dont know that much about anything after all i am only a teenager. but i honestly believed that this website was to vent and help you feel better. not worse. so, now. thanks to some jerk.. im crying my eyes out because for once in my life i spoke (wrote) what was on my mind and my heart and got tols “you diserve to die”.. thank you ass hole…. you just made a depressed litte girl who lost her dad and has a shitty life you diserve to die… hope ur proud of yourself..

anyone from California? If so, where in Cali? Just curious.