i want to die help me

i been searching for someone to share my life with..but i couldn’t…no one can understand me

my life is a pain i hate this human kind..i wanna get out from here… i wonder anyone out there feels the same way

as i do.. if so feel free to write me.. i have arranged everything to do it…went shopping bought a nylon robe.. tomorrow im going to  write my suicide note and thats it im off.. not so soon im planning to enjoy at least a month i have to spend my all saving lol..fuck this universe fuck the human kind.. here my email s.tck40@yahoo.com

I don’t want to think of suicide. I truly don’t. Yet, my life is becoming unbearable to the point of which I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m helpless. I’m desperate. Any response would help me:

Over the last 4 and 1/2 years, I’ve switched high-school, gone to university. Along with this – that is, the changing of schools – my greatest hope would be to have, to make friends.

But it hasn’t happened.

I’ve prayed; I’ve practiced patience. But nothing has changed my situation.

I have no friends. I have no one to call on my cell phone (my contact list) is empty. I have no one […]

its nice to know that there are people who care, complete strangers who care enough to offer to listen to me, people who show more care then any of my family or anyone from school does o_O thanks to the complete strangers who have made me feel a little better, just knowing that there is people who care (even though they don’t know me) is really reassuring and comforting <3

Today is the 24th year and one day that I have been on this earth. 21 years ago I was miss lead and wound up loss. 12 years ago I wanted to DIE.  I still want to every day.  Out of 12 years I have only maybe had 2 or 3 hours where I didnt want to die.  More people In my life makes it so much harder.  I want to die and be at peace but I dont want to hurt anyone either.

So if you’re like me and you hate the idea of being alive in general and not just living your own shitty life, you might be a bit pissed off at the thought of successfully offing yourself only to be born as someone or something new, possibly with an even shittier life.

So I thought I’d share something a friend told me (obviously I have no idea if it’s true or not but thought I’d share it anyway). The idea is that when you’re dying and you see the bright light, AVOID IT. It’ll just reset your soul and memories and stuff and you’ll just be […]

people are constantly doing things and saying things that will put others down.

maybe it’s just a joke to you, but to others it could be a life.

it just makes me crazy when i see people, my friends even, being bullies or hurting other people.

in my suicide note, i will be sure to leave a comment that will read, “and this is also to all you motherfuckers who ever put me down”

maybe they’ll learn something then.

sigh i wish everyone was just NICE

Ive thought about my life. this world full of heart ache and lonliness and ive watched my mom go through struggle after struggle. alone. and i dont want to live in this world of cruelty any longer. but i dont want to hurt my mom. Im a cutter. I have been for about 3 1/2 years now. But i dont believe slashing my wrist would be good especially if i want to do it respectfully. for my families sake. i was contemplating drowning but i heard that it is hard to do after i did some online research. I dont want to hang myself because […]

Im not killing myself. You can say its murder cause the only crime that will be taking is by one. Im not going to kill myself. You could say im murdering myself. So no one but me will be lock up in fansty land.

I’ll be honest. The worst should have passed already. I mean, just last year I wore one pair of cloths like a religion and cut twice a day. It was so hard for my to get out of that, my mother died when I was 2 and my dad is hopeless. It’s wrong to say but I hate my sister, she is genuinely a bad person and I can’t stand her. None of my friends noticed, and I stopped going out with them anyway. 

That was hard. But it’s been a while since then, I own more cloths, but not much more self confidence. I don’t believe […]

Right now I’m getting Harped at by my parents to go give my aunt a birthday present, I don’t want to. Not that I hate my aunt or anything, but, I don’t feel like moving. I’m a lost cause, I’m 17, and too afraid go to school. Was I bullied? Beaten up? No, I’m just a coward. Social phobic, and agoraphobic from birth, it is only recently that I refuse to go. Last year, my best friend moved away, which caused my depression to relapse. Last time a best friend moved away, at the age of 13, I became suicidally depressed, not only that, but […]

i’m 14 and i have attempted suicide 4 times in the past year. i was sexually abused by my grandad for 6 years, i get bullied at school, i get beat up a lot and i’m classed as a emo. i have no friends, i used to have friends but they’re dead now… i was 11 when i was first raped and made to watch my best friend be raped and beaten to death, i was then beaten and ended up in hospital. i’ve been raped more than 12 times and i slit my wrists because the pain is kinda a escape and it takes my mind off […]

I never though cutting would be so addicting, but blood so beautiful
Deep marvelish red, it’s quite pleasurable to watch the blood escape from the cut and rush down my arm as if it was trapped under my skin prision for eternity. I’m really quite envous ,as i wish to escape

I don’t really feel depressed anymore, per se.  More that I lack the desire to live.  Everything is so pointless.  College is a waste of time.  This is my fourth year of college and yet the only useful information I’ve learned could be compounded into 2 or 3 classes.  Everything else is mostly just a repeat of high school (except easier sometimes) or useless trivia.

In theory, I have friends.  But in practice?  Let’s just say I haven’t had more than 5 minutes of conversation with any of my so-called friends in the past, oh, 2 months about.   And although it would be nice to […]

So I am new here to this site, and am spiralling down hill. I have tried to take my own life a number of times before, but went on pills and saw doctors and all sorts. Things never really seemed to be any better. recently things are just getting worse and worse, like my mind is in over drive as to what to do and where to go, should I shouldn’t I.

I’m not going to make out that is it, I am going to do it, because I am not at that point, but I am getting closer and closer to a breaking point, I […]

A poem to Jasmine. Fuck Nycolle, wait no I still am in love with you… (just let her go Nathan, she wasn’t meant for you…) no she and I must be together forever… T-T (stop, you’re better off without her.

Here I am, inspired to write again after two seconds after the last post I just put up. Here’s an argument? Is suicide really immoral??? is it really that bad to suicide. Is it considered selfish? (Directions to do: Read this paragraph and comment. Then proceed to next part, if you are just browsing and won’t comment then go ahead.) 

You may feel guilt that it is. You may think others will suffer. They will suffer but is it wrong to do it?

I ain’t a religious person, I am an agnostic atheist, so as a matter of speaking, if God made humans and the devil made […]

So many Op’s from the early days of SP. Then there’s the new OPs that I once read their amazing posts. That was before all the new faces. Now there’s posts that have song lyrics, my last words my last post on facebook (ex. darkblue) I’m still sad that lolfailz agitated the need to take the pills. 5000mg and 2000mg more I remember. He will slit his wrists at the sane time she dies. He says he made a lil kid kill herself (age 13). Well I think rogue is slowly creeping back in my brain. (he is silently whispering to me… Influencing my thoughts). […]

The pain i feel is unbarable. the person i loved cheated on me with one of my teammates. they are now together and they rub their relationship in my face. i thought one was a friend and the other my love. i was wrong. I hate going to practice seeing their relationship. they have no regard of my feelings. I would quit, but i love the game to much and i love my teammates. however, all of this has pushed me back into my hole. I wanted to marry this person but instead im now thinking about what is wrong with me? why is it […]

I literally have nothing to do now. Dislocated my shoulder in the first game of the season, and hockey is the one thing that takes my mind off everything, the one thing I truly love doing. Now I can’t play for 12 weeks. I also can’t play my instruments, my xbox or go running. The three other hobbies I have. Fuck. This sucks. It’s also half of the $500 I spent for the season. Not that I really care though. I have too much money anyways. I have no need for it. But I’ve got my codeine now and I’m pretty high on it right […]