With the help of bio-oil, and foundation. I just stood in the hall, in the light, talking to my mother, in a tank top. My upper arms clearly visable.

I’m loving bio-oil.

I leave my past,

In hopes for a new future,

I leave my heart last,

For you to torture,

My cuts mend,

The scars anew,

Tears and blood blend,

If only you knew…

You lied to me

was any of it true?

It’s pretty sad that I miss you…

I wish those feelings never happened,

I wish I could take it all back…

These feelings hurt

The cause of the pain you ask?

You are,

Don’t look so innocent

I know what happened with her

“I’m sorry for everything”

“I’m sorry.”

That’s all you say

That’s all you cry

Just stop and think

that maybe, just maybe

You say lies.

My brothers uncle has visited from the states. The fold out couch is in the room directly next to mine. Usually I’d have my door closed and everything, but this time. I’m keeping it open. :3 Little steps.

Everything is slowly leaving. My friend is graduating early and this is the last time i would ever see him. I have mood swings which i really hate. First im like okay im doing fine next thing i know im staring at the ground depress. I have a problem even i cant fix on my own. I feel discomfort and scary. I still have a headache and dizziness. I cant take pain killers cause i would like take five maybe seven of them. I know its bad for you but i cant help that. Thats why i stay away from them. I hate food. It […]

well im 16 my name is amber ive been very suicidal since i was 11 and i watch my litttle brother die and i have nothing to live for but i cnt now because i just found out im preg fuckkkk i dnt know the first damn thing about takin care of a baby i dont know what im going to do. god i hate life.

To her classmates; She is a quiet girl.. who doesn’t talk that much. To her friends; She is a funny, outgoing girl.. that always makes them laugh. To her best friend; She is a crazy, fun girl.. that’s always there for her. To her boyfriend; She is an amazing girl.. that he loves more than anything. And to herself; She’s completely worthless..

This one is in remembrance of those “others” this past weekend. Titled same as this post, “Nobody”

==============================

Nobody knows

how close I came,

Nobody cares

if I go insane.

Nobody listens

to what I say,

Nobody helps

chase my blues away.

– – – – – – – – – – –

Nobody is there

to hear my plea,

Nobody is around,

when I don’t want to be.

Nobody knows

or even asks why,

Nobody cares

if I live or die.

=============================

Thanks again for the cyberspace.

Living Life
Is just so hard
All I have to do is pull the trigger
And leave a card

Why am I still here?
Nobody knows
Why am I staying?
I really want to go

But I don’t wand to dissapoint
My family and friends
So I’ll try to hold strong
And let my life naturally end

i actually just need to get away.

away from here.

away from them.

away from me?

im so nice all the time.

i put everyone one and anyone before myself.

i give up things i know, and love

to please others.

pathetic

i know.

the worst part… it goes by entirely unoticed.

people just tread on me like I’m dirt, yet notice something I’ve failed to do.

could i be wrong?

maybe I’m not nice?

id like to take myself out of their life just for a few days and see if its different.

who would cover up the mean statement about them

by self-depricating.

who would go along with whatever they wanted to do and make them laugh?

if not me?

maybe they […]

This is a new one, just finished a minute ago. Written for someone specific, but I hope it speaks to many. It is actually a thank you to all here who have helped. It’s titled just like this post, “Plant A Seed”

=========================================

Life is crap

we can all agree,

all we want

is a way to flee.

– – – – – – – – –

If Hope is something

we all need,

then maybe I

should plant a seed.

– – – – – – – – – –

I don’t think Hope

grows on trees,

but I’m sure

our Soul it frees.

 – – – – – – – – – –

I’m not like others

so full of greed,

I […]

sums up life pretty perfectly…

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

“William Shakespeare”

March 21, 2011                                                                                         1:46am
I just don’t know what to do anymore, coming to the end of my rope. I haven’t had any gas in my car for 3 weeks now, so it does no good to look for a job, try to get an account or anything else that somewhere other than here. I text people 24/7 most of them never text back, […]

What keeps you from giving up?

What are your reasons for still being here,

For tolerating another day filled with

Old memories and a single heartbeat?

I wonder,

Does God tuck you in at night?

I see you walking by smiling,

To yourself it would seem, but

When asked why you’re ready

With a heartfelt truth spoken steadily,

And I wonder,

Why is it that I’m stuck in limbo while

You frollick on the greener side,

What’s so different about you and I

That allows you to trust blindly

While I simply walk around blind?

So I wonder..

so I told a friend how I feel and she nearly cried. I’ve come to terms (somewhat) with the way I am. I don’t see a point where I will feel happy, for any length of time. I will just survive as long as I can muster up the will to go on. I hope there is no life after death; the thought of eternity scares me. I can’t even imagine any meaningful existence that lasts forever. Sometimes it seems overwhelming that there is a tomorrow, much less an everlasting existence. I hope for the big sleep, where I lay this body down and just […]

I’ve had a proper rough, well I’d say month but thats just this cycle :/. But it’s 2:30am, I’m bord, and here, awake, i think if i wasn’t on here i’d be sarah michelle gellar shooting zombies on cod, lol. (shes a character for all people not up with the gaming times, haha) so anyone want to just chat about…well. anything?

I had some conversation online here. It really helped. During that conversation of about 2 hours, I wrote like 4 poems. Here is one that hasn’t been posted yet. Untitled.

=============================
It’s all about
“Do I want to live?”
and just how much
I have left to give.
I am out of strength
and have lost my will,
but I must have anger,
’cause I just want to kill
myself.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
My cats, my poems
that’s all there is,
I was a man,
now just a shell of his,
keep on livin’

Im so dizzy. I been like this for awhile but it wont go away. I cant even walk straight anymore. I have a killer headache. Did someone hit me with an hammer? Its killing me. Even if i tell my mom she would just complian cause im always hurt. WELL I CANT HELP THAT! Im sad and i dont know what to do with myself anymore. I dont even know what to do with this life. My friend is graduating early and i wont ever see him again v- v. Im tired of this. I just want to crawl in bed and never wake […]

hi,

this is the first one of these that im writting. i dont know where to start. well i dont usally do this on the internet i write letters to a friend of mine that i have been “involved” with for some time i dont ever have the courage to send them i cant. if you looked at my life from the outside you would see someone who was a happy teenager who lives in an average house with average parents. that is me average. but my family is nothing close to average. first my mom and sister dont talk much because of something that happened when […]