I have lost 4kg over the past week, through constant fasting and over the last 2 days a lot of walking. I am now under 50kg. YAY! My BMI is now under 17 and i am getting very excited.
My only worry is how long i can get away with this without my ‘family’ knowing. They made me eat pizza for dinner last night, I didn’t even eat a whole piece and i felt ill. I went for an hour and a half walk to work it off.
I really want this plan to work but I’m not quite ready yet, i still have decisions […]
For the last few weeks I’ve visited this site frequently. So much pain. Now I feel like telling my story. It’s not an actual story, more a state of existence. I want to die. I think about death and suicide every day, and I feel no urge to do anything. It’s like live is fading away inside me, leaving nothing but emptiness. It started about 2 years ago. I was thinking about live and purpose and stuff like that. That somehow drove me into depression an suicidal feelings. It didn’t take long until I changed my mind. If I’m going to die anyway, I might […]
I have attempted suicide before, and failed. They have taken away my guns. I took a dive off of a very high bridge. Only to be rescued by some heroic fisherman. I haven’t tried pills because I don’t know which ones would be absolute. But I have been tortured long enough. So I have put a lot of thought into it. And I have a perfect plan. I have thought way ahead. As I have been caught in the act before. I have rented a house way out in the sticks. I have spread the word around that I am leaving on vacation. I […]
The following is a short story entitled ‘The Euphio Question’ by Kurt Vonnegut. I sincerely wish that some device such as this existed. Alas, happiness is in actuality difficult to attain. My wishes are simple when lain against this very complex story addressing whether happiness itself, when reached by unnatural methods, is of any kind of value and whether is cheapens life’s existence. But, I digress… I hope you enjoy this story. Vonnegut is exceptional. This story is taken from ‘Welcome to the Monkey House’. Comments are welcome.
Ladies and gentlemen of the Federal Communications Commission, I appreciate this opportunity to testify on the subject […]
I was always that girl you’d never see sad. Always the one who’s happy. I guess I’m just lonely. I haven’t really had a chance to care about others. Never had a shot to be who I really am. You want to know who I am? Alright. I’ll tell you. It’s going to be in a poem. Not happy. It’s rough, but here goes.
Here I am, bleeding, washed up.
You, the fool you are, don’t realize.
Don’t see the demon behind my eyes.
Lurking, waiting. Waiting for the chance
to get out, oops. I let it out. I let the monster
take my hand, control my actions.
You know what it […]
I feel so utterly empty. I find it so difficult to form emotional connections to people. Even when I do, I always go overboard and end up ruining things. When this happens I just want to be free – free from pain, from shyness and from self-loathing. There’s this girl at my college who I think is just the most amazing person in the world. I think about her all the time. Her face, her personality, her voice, her mannerisms – essentially her very being. I try to fight these strong feelings of affection I have for her but no matter what I try to […]
So the names kayce. Im 13 years old, now don’t go judging me by what you read . Your probably thinking i know nothing about depression or suicide or anything but trust me i do….
I have bipolar schizophrenic which if you don’t know what is Google it.. Ive been through a lot in the past 8 years, im a regular cutter, in the past 12 months ive cut through 7 veins, 2 arteries and the main part where your veins join up on your wrist. All the people at school judge me for it, but they don’t know the pain ive suffered,
it all started when […]
Are human beings meant to be reliable – particular, family, spouses/partners and close friends? Should we ever expect mortals to be responsible for us, or are we expected (and by who?) to rely only on ourselves?
I’m confused. I have heard people say that “Man was made with a need for each other”. What exactly do we need from others that they can realistically give us? Therein also begs the question – why would they give us what we need?
It all matters so much that nothing matters. I am so numb it hurts. I know that doesn’t seem to make sense. That is, unless someone has felt it.
Don’t even know what to say. I am completely broken, Just absolutely broken.
I’m warning you now, this might as well be a novel. It’s literally 25 years of pain and suffering since the day I was born. I don’t even think anyone would want to take the time out of their day to even read every horror story I can give. Worse… I hate feeling like people don’t believe me, that I’m just looking for attention… They think that after everything it’s all too much, “how could everything possibly bad happen to this person, she must be lying!”
I hate this world, and it’s judgements, and it’s false hopes, and all of it’s preachings that no one follows. […]
Thank-you for everyone who tried to help, it really meant something to me knowing that people actually cared about me.
Sorry to everyone who emailed me in the last few days that I never replied to.
Got a bottle of  Asian vodka mixed with meth and a few grams of amphetamines, wish me luck.
If it fails, i’ll create a new post letting everyone know not to try it.
If I succeed, I wish you all happiness in this life or the next and I hope you all find inner peace.
God saw you getting tired, when a cure was not to be.
So he wrapped his arms around you and […]
What do you do when the only thing that gave you hope, that gave you love, that gave you protection, is out of your life?
What comes next?
I’ve been sexually assaulted by my father and had an abortion when I was 12 because I was pregnant with his child. I couldnt tell my mother because that would ruin her life and I already knew mine was over. In 2009 I went to paris with my friend and while using one of the public showers a man entered my stall, smashed my head against the tap (where my hair as so that no one could see the wounds) and rapped me repeatedly then left me bleeding on the floor. I begged my parents to bring me home but never told them why. I […]
I’m new to this site. But, I guess I need help sorting this out. I’m hoping it’s easier talking to people I don’t know than the ones I do. At least I can be totally honest with strangers. All anyone else does is make me feel stupid, guilty, ashamed, crazy, anything except like taking another breath.
I feel like I’m in a “Circle of Depression”. I am trying so hard to find a reason to live, but every time I come up with a positive, there is a huge negative following right behind. Hell, I’m scared to even be […]
In two and a half week, I’m going to try out my suicide method. It’s going to be very bloody and painful. The success rate is really high though.
I haven’t logged on here for awhile now. I don’t see a lot of people I saw here before here anymore. And I see new people wanting to die too. I found myself some false hope to living, but I really can’t use that false hope. Apparently, that false hope just makes me want to die even more lately. I thought some people cared if I lived or died, so I tried my best once again to find […]
K so my plan for suicide didnt work but ive been tying nooses and this time ill make sure it works
today was my friends birthday, we went to Glasgow for shopping (; even though I didnt have any money, (my mom wouldn’t let me go, so I just stayed over at hers for the night, and went anyway) I still had an alright time. I’ve been sad a few times today, but…not that sad, alot less painful and numb.
when we were waiting for the train, theese random guys starting having a laugh with us xD it was amazing, Tasha and me gave the guys hugs and highfives through the glass! One of them had fucking rad trousers, tartan ;D sexehhh.
My birthday in 16 days, […]
I recently stumbled onto this site.
I am a little nervous about posting something but hear I go.
My story is way too long and complex to tell. On paper I may just sound like a selfish, overly sensitive girl, but that’s not the case. I will attempt a slimmed down version of my story.
All my life I have always been a little sad. There have always been family issues and even though I would like to think of myself as a strong person, those issues have always bothered me. Even now they do after 19 years.
Anyways, I met the love of my life, or atleast I […]
My plan failed i went to sleep and started chooking myself after taking all theese meds and i blacked out i was about to die but i woke up in the hospital i was unconcious but my parents found me this is really a total failure i had eveerything put into place well ill try again tonite if im not already to sick
old people have problems too, but Ive never enjoyed life for more than 5 years…Can’t end it but do not want to finish it