My sister died couple of years back because of a road accident..I still miss her..sometimes it hits me so hard she is not here that i can’t breathe..my relationship with my parents changed after that..they keep on talking that she was very good and i am so lacking in everything that she had..i feel depressed half the time..i dont even feel like talking to my friends anymore..everything feels useless..i cant even kill myself ..i love my parents..maybe they are disappointed with me..but i love them..if i kill myself i dont know how bad they will take it..I feel trapped..

i cant take it anymore! every time i get my life back on track everything falls apart.. well not this time.

 iv tried too hard for too long and theres a point where theres no point in continuing and im well past that point. the only reason im posting this is because i dont want attention from friends or family or anyone for that matter and its not like anyones gunna read this anyway. im sorry if anyone does read this that i know, i know iv hurt you but your stronger than i am and youll recover just like i did all those times.

this time […]

hey, i am 16 years old TODAY!:) happy birthday to me… but i have been really depressed latley and i am hoping that the new year will like, help me start fresh or something. i am ashlie allred, i am 16, and i am a suicide survivor… if i survived through all the shit that i had to go through, then you can too. there is hope… you just ahve to hold on long enough to find it. if you make it that far, then you can go as far as the mind can percieve. i know you can do it, just let go and […]

Hereafter, the movie, “a life that’s all about death is no life at all”.

The loneliness of being unique, observant, sensitive, the empath, just trying to be normal and can’t be accepted among norms, living like an offbeat manipulator but in search aimlessly for his lone life’s bearing without any compromise.

Even if a guardian angel be there covertly supporting behind, as deemed a gift to soul, Deja Vous or Knowing will just be a curse cast to a material body of wants and lust.

Crave none, envy none, so afterall, just one character amid the multitudinous walks of life.
A grand finale of the movie at the […]

Cutting as a habit to tackle problems.

Everybody has problems of their own to deal with, past and present.
Even parents are supposed to take care of their children’s problems too.
But how many of those parents are up to minding their child’s problems besides their own ? Few.

Well, I could handle well with my daughter’s psychological problem besides my own. But my wife already shunt me out of the family circle.

So, you see that, even there is perfect parent’s guidance provided on the path, it’ll somehow be barricaded, as if telling that each life is their own to deal with.

However tough the bullies may seem, […]

A bit too gloomy here for my taste.

To anyone who thinks they have it bad.

click here.

Nobody will take me seriously. Life is horrible i have like 2 friends 0 true friends my mom cusses me out every time i talk to her my dad wants me gone as soon as i finish highschool, i just hate everything and everyone, i can never do anything right, i cant even kill myself, i tried with some sleeping pills after cutting my wrist but i passed out and woke up 4 hours later : /, i cant keep a gf so i have given up on trying for one the last one i had said she loved me the first time then broke […]

nobody would tell that i’m not okay..

i’m a good pretender.

they will see me smile, say i’m okay and laugh…

but if only they will look deeply in my eyes they’ll see i’m crying inside.

i don’t know how long will i live to pretend and fool myself to believe that everything is fine when it’s not?  i really wanted to  rest and end all these.

I feel so tired with life.

I hate how I’ll become so happy that i believe nothing will ever bring me down, that all i need are my friends, family, and those good times! then 10 minutes later when it’s just me all alone, i feel myself crumbling into despair as i realize that after all of what happens, at the end of the night it’s just me. I hate that feeling. Knowing that no one will be waiting to kiss me or hold me, no one to claim me as their’s. I hate knowing it’s just me, alone in that bed wishing for more than just myself.

Uplifted and freed

tumbling softly through this haze

my distant dreams forgotten

life is at once ablaze.

Shot down and screaming

falling viciously through this wish

my fading hopes forgotten

life is at once broken.

I’m new to this forum, but I came here because I’m very depressed about something physical in my life that is most likely permanent and will not change.  I can accept things that I can change, but when I hate something that will probably be permanent, there is nothing I can do about it.  When there is something in life that I hate so much and nothing I can do about it, it makes me so distraught, angry, and depressed.  I feel like a lesser version of who I once was.  I used to be such an outgoing and fun person and now I haven’t […]

All this pain I feel
It can’t be real
All day and night
I live void of true life
I’m sickening of this facade
Maybe it’s time I start to fade
So goodbye
From the girl who cared

The girl who cut.

I used to think that I should just give up and quit. To be honest, that was all of five minutes ago. I was ready to break down and die, leaving everything and everyone I tried to support alone. I mean, I was supporting my family, my boyfriend, myself, just a lot of people. I felt like the only person who even bothered to support me was God. I was ready to give up everything I had worked for and just lay down and die. Instead, I mustered up my courage and called a crisis hotline. I didn’t want them to call an ambulance (I […]

I am 18 years old and I’ve been facing shits all the time.

It’s amazing how people think, everyone is different. Some think like there’s sunshine every second and some think its always dark.

It’s not easy to live, I know. Its rather a challenge we need to face, every hour.. every minute, every second. I, myself have thought of suicide more than anyone in this world. I think its the best way to free yourself from everything. That its the only way out of this empty room, that’s its the only solution. I am really tired of living, I am really tired of making […]