Man, I thought I was fucked up but these ppl in the videos make me feel almost “normal.”

What is wrong with ppl these days? Our world has gone to shit. Like seriously, growing up, ppl weren’t as crazy and fucked up as it is now. Growing up, we didn’t have mass shootings like every month. We didn’t have millions of Karens and Kens roaming around ruining everyone’s every day lives. Well sure, there always were entitled ppl, assholes and racists, but they tended to keep that shit to themselves in the past, more or less.

Yes, social media highlights all […]

I wish someone would rescue me from this hell, this shitty life of mine.

I used to be religious, this isn’t going to be much about it. Just, I remember one of the things that drove me off is how so many holidays are dedicated to new life, rebirth, etc etc toxic positivity essentially.

But all hollows eve is special. I like to think it was a token nod to the occult religions assimilated when the Catholics swept through Europe. Occult attitudes towards death are more nuanced. Just had the thought that Catholicism is the Borg of religions, taking in just enough to make it attractive to others. Always seeking perfection, never reaching it.

Anyway, on this special evening the veil […]

-_-

~1min

How does one NOT be angry at bitter when their whole life they’ve been screwed time and time again? First by birth- who you are born to is the NUMBER 1 factor- if your parents are rich or poor as fuck, or nice and loving vs abusive and harming. If you are born to shitty parents who abused you and were poor af, you are so screwed from the get go.

You are either set up for success or failure from the moment you are conceived. You either have doors opened for you or have little to no opportunities. Intelligence, hard work […]

I didn’t think I’d see this website again. But I’ve been calling for death again. Things have become the worst, finally, when I have done so much to avoid this moment. I’ll tell you all on the internet a little something – I’ve been going to inpatients, housing and all sorts of shitty programs to avoid this moment. I’ve been calling for death out of revenge. All of you on here should pray and hope I go, because I’ve been making the people around me miserable with my cries. I’m paranoid even posting this online. Threatening suicide is all I have. Nothing can take me […]

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What If The World is Actually a Prison? | The Philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer |

11min

I feel like I’m dying inside increasingly every day. I cannot take it anymore. I have realized being suicidal is so much more than I could ever explain in words. But the thought of a failed suicide attempt is terrifying to me. The shame is too much to bear which will make me more suicidal in turn. My family doesn’t know I used to be suicidal. I mean what do I even tell them. How do I tell them I don’t want to bring them shame by unaliving myself. I also don’t want to give anyone a reason to underestimate me even more. Sometimes there […]

 I will never get to know her again. I won’t get to laugh and joke with her. I won’t get to go out with her. I will never see her smile at me. I will never get to hug her again. It makes me wish I was dead.

Life has been so painful recently, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this terrible in my life. I can’t stop thinking about her, and that makes everything feel even worse. I wish I had her to comfort me when I feel like this.

I can’t believe it’s been two years since I’ve talked to her in […]

Not really a whole lot to say, not much has changed in my head for awhile now. I’m so tired all the time, but I can’t even sleep and it’s kinda fucking me over. I got to go out of the house today with my mom, shopping and to get some food, and I think it was a good thing for me – at least it got me showered and what not. Plus I got to hang with mom for a bit, which I always enjoy doing. It was very dreary today. I’m trying to eat as little as possible. Not 100% sure why, but […]

Not much apparently.

-I am semi-disabled. I cannot work. Those 2 alone make me worthless according to society.
-I am poor. The poor are considered a pox on society. They’d throw us in a gas chamber if they could.
-I am middle aged. Soon to be “old.” Old ppl are worthless in the Western society.
-I don’t have any marketable skills aside from being an academic. Which is also worthless in today’s society. I am very intelligent and knowledgeable in so many areas- math, sciences, finance, economics, etc- but do not specialize in anything- so not worth much […]

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?????, ????? ??????? ???????????? ?????????? ??? ?????? ? ?????????? ? ??? ??????? ?????????. […]

It’s not that I want to stop existing. It’s that I want to stop existing like this. Full of regret, sadness, longing, loneliness. And I can’t see any plausible ways to make that happen. If I put in enough effort and time, then maybe I could earn myself a little relief. But a lot of the time, the thought of just ceasing to be seems preferable.

I don’t view death as a liberation, or an escape. More just a dissolution of what I am now back into the rest of the world. I don’t know what it’s like to be bacteria, or a worm, or a […]

Has to be right, one has to get out while the going is good. Any job, relationship, habit, mode of behaviour etc, there comes a time when to continue is absolute folly. Any suicide of someone quite young is quite tragic but after the age of 21 perhaps it was for the best of the individual in question.

I’ve gotten to the stage where even feeling pleasure has become difficult. Obviously the raison d’etre of life on this planet is cross pollination, to plant your seed in fertile soil, when even that no longer does it for you pun or no pun intended you’re fucked. Just […]

So i don’t post much on here. I usually read people’s post on here and see if i can relate on here. I know we’re all hurting inside and we all have our own problems. I figured I’d share something to see what others think about the subject I’m about to talk about

So i knee surgery today. Didn’t seem they found much bad in my knee, but only clean up the inside of it. To keep the story short, i just wanted to say this. When they put me to sleep, i felt i was at peace. No pain, no sorrow, no depression, slno sadness, […]

https://myfox8.com/news/north-carolina/nc-man-wins-1000-a-day-for-life-after-buying-2-ticket/

Wouldn’t it be nice to win $1000/day for LIFE? Ok, so the man chose lump sum, and apparently “life” means 15.75 years for this dude.

He had the option of getting 365,000/yr every year or lump sum of 5,750,000 (which would equal to 15.75 years). “Life” equates to 20 years in the lotto world so idk why he’s only getting 15.75 years. Post-tax lump sum is 4.08M.

Well whatever the math is, I would LOVE to get 1000/d every day for 15 or 20 fucking years. How good would that be? Imagine how much easier you could BREATHE if you […]

I really am mindless at this point. I can’t do this anymore.

How are people able to do this? Go to school, maybe go to college or a trade school or the military, find a job, work and make money and save money, maybe find love, raise some kids, retire in their 50s and coast off of that until they pass on and give to the next generation?

Ever since I came on here, all those years ago, when I screwed up initially in college, and tried to rebound and make the best of what I had, it’s just gone downhill. There was some good in between, […]