I glanced up at my alarm clock, the time was 1:13 am. It was time to go. I put my shoes on and got my jacket. I creeped slowly down the stairs and took an apple from the kitchen and put it into my pocket. Downstairs I pulled out the nail that holds the windows in place and crawled outside. It was a nice night, quite calm and the moon was bright but obscured by clouds. I walked up the side of the house that I lived in and started pissing behind a tree. I looked up the road a bit and admired how the […]
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Hello all i beleive by the time you read this it will be to late so im just writing this for my family and ill leave it up so they can see. Ive finally reached the edge ive been battling depression and suividde since i was 13/14 years old and attempted it for the first time when i was 13 but i was not able to go through with it im 21 now i have streaches of good and bad but this year has really been it for me i recently moved back to my small hometown about 2 yrs ago after being away for […]
Spitting fire
Pointed towards
The gloomy pyre
The festival is bright
Like your eyes
Remember the days?
I do
I’ll always remember you
Head bowed
I let a tear slip
Quickly it evaporates
But not before I pass on
It is clear
In my mind there is peace
im feeling really crap. small, petty comments upset me yesterday and now I have become self aware of a suicide method that has been at my disposal for the last 13 years. pain free too, I am a bit bothered by the fact that the medicine that keeps me alive can also take it away. I hope to not get into a position where I even think of using it. I need some sort of help to keep my mind busy. sitting in this stupid house gets my mind wandering
I’m 49 – diagnosed and began treatment for depression and anxiety in my early 20s
I have 4 kids – none of my relationships worked so I am alone.
I have been on every medication there is to treat depression – nothing works very well
I don’t want to wake up anymore, been fighting this for so fucking long – my parents practically raised my kids for me – I was just not able to for the most part. I’ve failed everyone, including my Father, who died 2 years ago from cancer. I love my kids – and they’ve forgiven me, well 3 have. The 4th is estranged because […]
I’m incapable of love. I came to this realization after breaking off with the second love of my life. It’s a dissonance. How can I yearn so much for love, but be unable to love. The only person in my life that I could have learned to be unloving from is my mom. Growing up, my mom wasn’t bad. When we were very, very, very poor she still gave us the necessities of life. She took care of us the best she could. As a matter of fact, she did much better than her mother, who abandoned her and her siblings. So she actually grew […]
I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was in grade 7. Yep, that’s right, a 13 year old kid, smoking cigarettes. Now, I am in grade 9, and as much as I try to quit, I never can. I can’t get myself to not crave cigarettes anymore.
I always had thought that they would slowly kill me, but I guess they didn’t. They affect the way I do some things, like singing, or running – but they haven’t killed me yet.
Addiction is a hard thing to get over. Even now as I am writing this, my body is craving a cigarette. I know I need to […]
Ive always felt like shit, always felt hated and ive always craved attention and i hate myself so bad for it.
Ive been bullied for years and havent told anyone. My brother felt the same way and he told me about it, instead of our parents, he then told our parents. They stopped him from going outside for weeks and they hired so many people to keep him from it, it was that way for 7 months then he got out and commited suicide. He was the only person to ever talk with me and he meant more to me than anyone else. I’ve never told […]
As I write this it is 23:47. 13 minutes until midnight.
The clock begins again in 13 minutes.
Life begins anew in 13 minutes.
It is 23:47 where he is.
It is 23:47 where she is.
It is 23:47 where they all are.
The last connection we have is time.
Time will always bind us together, until one of us slips outside of it’s domain.
In 13 minutes the day in which I die could begin.
In 13 minutes the day in which I live could begin.
I wonder what they will spend the next 13 minutes doing.
Are they dreaming? Or are they awake?
Are they dreaming of me?
In 13 minutes these thoughts will be the […]
Throughout my life, I’ve been torn down, thrown to the side, laughed at, tortured, and just been made out to be a vulnerable girl. In Elementary school, I was bullied about my weight and appearance. In Middle school, I was cyberbullied and forced to have intimacy at 13. When I got to high school, I lost someone I prayed I wouldn’t lose; my own mother. I watched her become diagnosed with colon cancer and heard it spread to her liver. She hung on until I was almost sixteen. With hospice by her side and my family, I watched her pass away. I still have the […]
I mean, like really, this is a joke.
I am 16. 16 damn it. I used to dream of how awesome my life would be at 16. This is just ridiculous .
I find no pleasure at anything. My friends are just people that I hanged out with at some point in my life and our friendship dragged out, people that I have come to absolutely despise. I despise pretty much anyone my age really. Everyone is so happy or relaxed or something, as if life is a fun little game.
I have some very firm beliefs : Suicide is stupid , but more importantly , it’s a […]
i am fighting the hurt i feel inside. after 13 years of giving my time, love, and heart to this woman, within a few days, she betrayed me and left me all alone. i am 53 years old and lost my youth by giving it all to her. it’s been 5 years now but still the pain comes and goes but mainly comes and stays for a long while. i have tried courting other women but none of them are interested.my heart seems unable to heal. my daughter wouldn’t give me an ear, my family is not interested, no one really to talk to. i […]
I’m 18 and for as long as I can remember I’ve been suicidal, I would run in front of cars when I was 4 because I’d heard of people getting killed by it. My parents got calls from my elementary school because I would say I wanted to more or less die. My parents just told me to not say it anymore. By the second grade I had multiple plans to kill myself. In the 3rd grade I told one of my peers about my thoughts and he encouraged me to act upon them. I had my first suicide attempt when I was ten. My […]
Hi Everyone I’m new here im gay 31 living with my dad I have social anxiety agoraphobia ptsd Addictions to crystal meth, I’ve been doing crystal now for 8 months on and off the longest I can go without getting some is always a month. And that’s the case here I’m a month off it again. I am trying to quit. But I just recently split up with my boyfriend of five months. I’m alone again and he told me some home truths. That I didn’t wanna hear. Anyways I’ve tried to kill myself 7 times through my life first time I was 13. I […]
Attention. Attention is my best friend. It always has been. At the age of 6 till the age I left primairy school I would trip myself up on purpose, getting massive cuts all over myself. Just so I could get attention. Just so I could feel sympathy from others. So that people would care. From the age of 13 till now I would go on online chat rooms, I would video chat with strange men I didn’t know. Video chat with them and do whatever they told me to. I would get undressed in front of strange men online at the age of 13. From […]
I had a hysterectomy at 23. I want a child more than anything. I have paid THOUSANDS of dollars to find a “birthmother” who will place her child with us. We haven’t been chosen.
My husband can’t stand to see me hurt. We are moving in 6 months and will have to give up our home study. He won’t go through it again. Which means this is the end. I don’t get another chance.
Ten years ago I paid $10,000.00 to be a part of an agency. We were matched with a baby girl then we got transferred. I couldn’t stand to move on. I just […]
The thought of suicide has been on my mind at least weekly if not daily for the last 40 years. considering I was 13 when I had my first lame attempt to end things (I wrapped an extension cord around my neck and yanked. This was at school and all that happened is I passed out) I’ve had a couple other tries since. I guess I was not ready for those times either. In looking back at things I wonder what it is that I really want. It is not attention as I was alone and did not plan to be around or discovered by […]
You just don’t fit? Like everything has just come together wrong and you somehow stopped being right in your own life (if you ever even were) and there’s just no place for you? Like maybe you just came off the assembly line broken? I’m feeling that way tonight (or actually this morning because I’ve spent five hours sitting here contemplating this). Wrong choices, wrong people, wrong planet maybe. I feel like I just don’t fit anywhere, like I never have been “right”, something was wrong from the get-go. It’s been a long time since I have been this low, since I have sat back and […]
When I was 13 I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.
It’s not the worst thing in the world but going through 13 years of your life thinking you have it all planned out and knowing you’re going to be successful and then having it all pulled out from under you can fuck with you a little bit. Me and my dad we the closest a father and daughter could be up until this point. It’s like after I got diagnosed he stopped loving me. I suddenly became the “problem child” and he didn’t want to even be around me anymore, like he couldn’t even bear […]
I have suffered from depression since around the age of 13I can’t really say if I thought about suicide back then. I know from things that happened to me my childhood was Rod I never got to enjoy some of the experiences young people did like normal relationships and that affected my life as an adult. I’m in capable of handling a relationship normally like any other person would I fall easily hard and even when a relationship is unhealthy for me I don’t want to end it I am currently in a toxic relationship and addictive relationshipand although I do love this woman I […]