I was think of attempting suicide again 2 weeks after my last attempt. I was wondering if this is too close together?
I’m a 24 year old guy and I’ve been in so much pain emotional for about a year. I’m financially struggling and in debt. I’m going to be starting college just now at 24. I have no job. I am also ashamed of my body because I have small wrists and only 5’4 tall. I moved out of my apartment and live in the basement of my aunt and uncle’s place. I don’t hang out with any friends and don’t talk to them much anymore. I feel like such a loser! The girl I care about has changed so much within 2 and half months. […]
I got all my hair off yesterday, so now it’s a pixie cut. I’d planned to wait until summer, but I just went to get it done without a second thought. I don’t really know why I did it. I suppose part of it was so the Others don’t recognise me – I’m dyeing it tomorrow, too. The other part is just because through all my racing thoughts, this one stuck.
I did that stupid scale thing with my psychiatrist today. 1-10 for mood, and over the last four days it’s been an 8 or 9, and for my energy it’s 10. I didn’t bother bringing […]
It feels so nice to say these words and actually mean them.
“I’m okay.”
I just came out of the psych ward today. It wasn’t bad in there. I met a few souls whom I spoke to and connected with on a very different level.
I know I’d been saying all along that the one thing I feared most was being admitted there and being seen by my classmates. But when I was there, I actually didn’t give a fuck. I was there to fix myself.
I’ve made a decision. This is a very serious and important decision for me and I hope I stick to it. No […]
I succumbed to texting my ex. It’s a been almost 2 weeks since we vaguely texted each other. I told him that I need to be his friend and I asked him if he still even cared. He said “Yes, of course”. But he doesn’t act like it. He never asks me how I am or how my life is. It feels as if he is not my friend, not even a stranger on the street. Why am I hanging on to him like this? I’m actually starting to be completely turned off by him, sexually and in a friendly kind of way. Maybe this […]
For those of you who have taken the time to listen to me.
I got my three month test 2 weeks ago.
My results came back negative.
Fuck you Zak, I hope you enjoy having hpv 2. I’m glad I didn’t catch it from you
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.
Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; […]
So I was brave, and went to my doctor for help. I did it. And since I did that, my friend who took space came back and is being completely supportive again. Which is good. We’ve actually talked a lot more then we did before, and it’s not always so dark like it was. I have actually been able to help him with stuff he is dealing with. So that front has been good. And he’s been honest, the only thing he won’t stand by and watch is me constantly not going to appointments and missing 3 months worth. And he said he would be […]
This is honestly just a post to get out my thoughts because they just keep clouding my head.
Anyways, I’ve been so emotionally drained the last few months. Like, there are some occasions where I’ll feel happy, sad, or angry, but if it’s not any of those, then I’m literally numb to it. And even when I do feel those, I don’t know how to react to them. I just don’t feel anything; it’s like my whole body is disconnected from my feelings. I just don’t seem to care anymore about anything. My grades are getting worse & I only have 2 weeks to fix them, […]
Found it so difficult today. Have barely had the energy to move.
Slept most of the day managed to just about get myself showered and washed my hair. (After doing neither for 2 weeks…disgusting I know).
Feel like I could sleep for forever. Wouldnt that be nice? To not have to agonize over methods of suicide but to just fall to sleep and never wake up
I can’t silence the screams to jump, to crash my car, to cut so deep. The comfort I find in driving over a bridge, seeing a tall building or any other method of death is exhausting me.
I’m sorry for people reading this. […]
On fluoxetine. Loss of appetite and constant buzzing in my ears aside, my anxiety has subsided and breathing is bearable. I am supposed to take these meds for 2 weeks after which I’ll go back to see my therapist to assess my condition. What’s your experience with fluoxetine??…. That’s my sad depressed face.
I’m so frustrated with how tired I get. I want to sleep all day, every day.
And I’m so annoyed that when I FINALLY get up the urge to clean my room, do my work, etc. my parents give me so much crap.
It’s like them giving me crap about my room isn’t enough. They have to give me crap about when and how I clean it.
It makes me soo angry!!
And then when I tell them how annoyed I am. They’re just like, “Well it only takes 5 minutes to clean up your room. I don’t see […]
Been going good for 6 months now. That i when i started going out with my girlfriend. I was finally happy and felt blessed to have her. The last 2 weeks have been horrible between us. We actually broke up 3 days ago but got back together the next day. I felt like i could fix this. Felt like she was trying as hard as me to fix it. We were ok for a day and a half. Then i got a hold of her phone and went through it a bit. I found that one of her new friends was upset with her for […]
I’m thinking about taking my own life. My mom is my only family member and tonight we had a bad arguement. I said a lot of really mean things. I feel I was justified in being irritated, even angry, but I shouldn’t have been so mean. One of these arguments happened only 2 weeks ago. I have caused my mom so much pain with the mean things I’ve said over the years. I’ve also put her through so much with my mental and physical health problems. I honestly feel I should have never been born. When these […]
I’ve been manic for the past 2+ weeks but on a major come down and feel absolutely crap I saw my cpn yesterday when I was bad with my voices and his coming again on Friday.
I’m so fed up with how I am I just car’t deal with it I don’t mind being minic as I’m happy but that the only time I am
I’ve got a loving family and bf who cares I just don’t want to hurt them but if things don’t change I know i will I’ve suffered from mental illness since I was 15 I’m now 25 I just don’t […]
Ugh. I hate coming back to my parents house. There always just fighting all the time and just keep reminding me how disappointed they are in me and how much of a fucking freak I am. Thanks mum. Everything here just stresses me out an I feel like I’m gonna explode.
Cats are here though. Hugging them beats staying back alone at my apartment for 2 weeks while I’m off uni I guess.
I tried to commit suicide 3 months ago. I survived. I hated the fact that I couldn’t get it right. Now 3 months later I am more excited about my life and the future than I have ever been before. I booked myself into a mental health institute for 2 weeks after my suicide attempt and I learned more than I can imagine about myself…and more importantly how to cope. My situation has worsened in the past 3 months yet I no longer feel the urge to end it all. I have a strong urge to survive and put my experience to good use.
hello 🙂
what bullying and would you consider this bullying?
alright. since the start of the year I have met these group of girls (I am a girl) who have made me felt very upset. I am quiet and shy and normally don’t speak up about these things. it first started when they just stared at me, they would laugh at me and try to humilate me. 2 weeks after I had met them they would speak really loudly bad things about me then laugh. it really hurt my reputation and now I have no friends. I was recovering from self harm and it made me want […]
“Happiness can be found, Even in the darkest of times , If one only remembers to turn on the light.”
I thought I would start off my update with one of my all time favorite quotes. Well I’m still breathing for one. I just started at my new college 2 weeks ago. Things have definitely been getting better for me. Though I’ve had a few bad moments including clawing and slitting my arms to the point that probably be marked for a good while. I could never handle stress well. My depressive thoughts have decreased though, Though I haven’t felt more alone in a long time […]
I don’t know why I’m still fucking trying.
2 weeks and counting when you don’t even try to text me. What the fuck.
I put the fucking sky at your feet and you do this to me? What the fuck.
I bought you things, I made something for your birthday. What the fuck.
I tried to call you, I tried to text you, I still do. What the fuck.
I mean what the fuck is wrong with you, You’re playing with my fucking feelings.
What the fuck.
I put the fucking world at your fucking feet. Fuck you.
And you know what else? Fuck you […]
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