I haven’t smoked weed in 6 months. Not for lack of trying since i moved i cant find a decent connect. Weed was an antidepressant that I no longer have access to. I dont drink so ive been begrudgingly sober far longer than id like. I dont want to be a blunt a day pot head. Just the occasional bowl to take the edge off. My outlook was mostly positive high. This isn’t to encourage weed use its not a cure all but got dam it helped. The only plus is i can pass a drug test which I’ll need to find a new job […]
I don’t know why I care so much, but yet I do. My ex is about to be homeless and penniless without a soul on earth around to help. He lives in Alaska so yeah pretty damn far away. His mom could pass away any day now. I’m scared of what could end up happening to him knowing his tendency to drink. He’s been sober for about 6 months just out of being penniless and having no way to get any money. I don’t want him in bad shape, in jail or dead. I’m so afraid for him and there’s nothing I can do.
What do you do, with the pain – the despair. When you come to believe that it’s not just a passing phase, or something for you to overcome. When it’s been 8 long years rather than 6 months. When your hope is gone, and you can’t think of anything else to try. When you come to accept that this is who you are, and likely always will be. When doing even basic things is a struggle, because nothing seems worthwhile, and your brain won’t focus on anything.
When you won’t end it, because you can’t do that to your parents – who sacrificed so much, and […]
So in short my ex chose weed over me. Abused me. Made me feel me feel worthless, I got diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, Social Anxiety and anorexia. I’ve been in and out of hospital 7 times in the last 6 months because of 2 suicide attempts and the rest for not eating. I’m scared of living so I want to die. I just haven’t succeeded yet. I don’t see my life going anywhere but down. I’ve been on anti depressants for 3 months and recently came off them. I drink to forget who I am and wake up not knowing where I am. I’m a […]
i have been wanting to die for a decade. When I first came on here, I was really looking at 6 months to a year to live, enough for a “peaceful death”. Now that everything crashed around me on top of the crap I already been going though, I can’t stand another moment on this BBBofBS. The depression and PTSD is so bad that it hurts.
Thanks to my basement, I got a nice little workshop going on. Building two unique things that should make me pass out faster.
when I go to the doctor this week I’m gonna ask for sleeping pills “because I been having […]
I don’t understand how you can come across someone and just click with them and before you know it, really start to like them in a romantic sense. What makes some people more outstanding than others? Why is it we can create this unique bond with someone that inevitably will be there forever whether you like it or not, or why do others just outgrow their significant others without reason? I’ve been thinking about you for the past 6 months now and I knew when we were “together” for the three short months it of course wasn’t love. But now it’s been so long, even […]
Been kinda upset recently. I have a friend who actually asked me on a date about 6 months ago, but never been in a relationship before I declined because I was scared and just don’t date people. I’ve kinda realized how good of a person he is and that I definitely do have a ‘crush’ on him, though I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship considering how my last one ended. He’s literally a guy version of me but with better qualities personality-wise. But now he’s completely uninterested and moved onto better people, I guess. Like he definitely had a thing for my […]
Been going good for 6 months now. That i when i started going out with my girlfriend. I was finally happy and felt blessed to have her. The last 2 weeks have been horrible between us. We actually broke up 3 days ago but got back together the next day. I felt like i could fix this. Felt like she was trying as hard as me to fix it. We were ok for a day and a half. Then i got a hold of her phone and went through it a bit. I found that one of her new friends was upset with her for […]
Its been almost 6 months since you left . Hard to believe it would still hurt so badly…. We both moved on and yet I now feel cold more than ever and alone. Why ??? seriously just why???? I am so fucking sick of feeling like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrGq-pSvZg8
I know everyone is caught up in their own life, and I get that. Still, people are so clueless to see when others are not well around them. They ask me if I’m okay constantly due to my demeanor, because I don’t smile or laugh anymore. I use to wear that mask for everyone. I’d go to work or visit family and put on that ”happy mask” and I’ve come to the place before my end, where I just don’t give a shit anymore. If they want to ask questions, that’s fine, they’re entitled to. Doesn’t mean I have to answer, but if I do […]
I’d go back to yesterday, when I slipped that noose around my neck but stopped when I heard them coming up the stairs. I’d hold the door shut until I was finished.
I’d go back 6 months and not send that letter to you. I’d remember to lock the front door so they wouldn’t have found me.
I’d go back 12 months and cut a bit deeper with that straight razor. I wouldn’t tell people I needed help, I wouldn’t tell them I was glad I had them, because I never did.
I’d go back 18 months and just tell you to fuck off. Maybe this could have […]
First, I don’t think i’m depressed. I just thought about it and decided that to die at a young age makes sense. I worked as a care worker for 6 months before eventually it got to me. I saw what to expect as I got to the end and I didn’t like it at all. Couple that with nihilistic beliefs and it made sense to me that to take my own life when I was happy and healthy made more sense than waiting for my body to slowly decay.
I don’t know why I haven’t done it yet. I’ve tried spontaneously when I was actually depressed. […]
15 16 in march I’ve been depressed cutting suicidal I cut on the 11th thinking of doing it again mean family my dad hit me with a belt because I drank some of his wine because I was depressed I am lonely for the most part 2/3 good friends but not always there. I was planning on killing myself in october on a cruise I don t know how to swim 6 months away. I stopped taking my depression meds they don t work and made me gain 40IB my dad still wants me to take it I have counseling twice a month I was […]
I was at UBC Universal Behavioral Center I was there for 6 months that I tried to kill myself 3 times nothing worked I tried cutting my wrist vertically and horizontally and tying things around my neck that didn’t work because people found me.I still have suicidal thoughts I’m not acting on it because I don’t want to get in trouble and I want to be trusted .I have had two girlfriends the first one I dated for a few days I broke up with because she wanted to date more than one person my second lasted more than a week she claimed to be […]
This is my first post. My life has been full of setbacks and disappointments many by my own bad choices and many by terrible luck. I am possibly the biggest underachiever in the world. That’s why I couldn’t be happier when I met my beautiful wife learned that she wanted to be with me. 7 years later after watching her love turn cold after realizing that she was stuck with a loser she left (10 weeks ago). I am still holding out hope that we can save our marriage but that hope is fading. There are a few reasons to be hopeful but also many reasons that lead […]
It started out with being fired and then it went to trying to come off paxhell! Rapid heart beat…hospitalization for the first time for panic attack. Its been a slow downward spiral for 6 months. Two days ago i realized all this pain is my fault and i can’t take it anymore. I can’t take the ocd and the guilt, the derealization, the pills. I can barely hold down my job. Im afraid im going to give up. I can’t take it. Waiting to see this specialist and this specialist. Im so embarrassed but i dont have the energy to wait anymore. Im so tired […]
I recently came to the conclusion, maybe I don’t need to end my life I just need a new one. How would this work?
Get separated.
Move.
Use gov. assistance to pay for daycare & actually get a degree and job.
Actually stand on my own for once.
Well, f!ck me apparently. There’s really not such a thing as separation in Nebraska. I would still have to do all the steps for a divorce, which I can’t afford and neither can my husband. I’m stuck in a marriage I don’t want to be in. I have been screwing another guy for 6 months now…..I don’t think I could want any […]