I don’t like to complain and when I do I feel horribly guilty. I have had Depression/Anxiety since I was a child. Growing up I was sexually abused twice and grew up in a unstable home. I have a learning disability and life is difficult most times. This year I finally got help ( after a breakdown) and am on lexapro. Most days the medicine works but some days I’m sad and my anxiety is still bad. I feel like a burden to my family and to society. I’m going to college in two weeks, im scared and excited but what if i fail? let […]
abused
I would smile to friends and family for the longest time. I would smile like nothing was wrong to keep people away from asking whats wrong. I kept that smile up for the people who thought my life was perfect. Nobody knew the pain N suffering I had to go through to get to where I am now. I’ve walked a thin line from never getting caught to hey what happens if I get caught. During that time I was N still am suffering from PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, and mood disorder. I watched a family member do things to me that I should […]
I’ve decided it. I’m going to die. I have a bottle of pills right here beside me. I just wanted to let somebody know. So that I wouldn’t be alone. Not more than I already am, anyway. I thought about posting on Facebook, but I wouldn’t want the two people who would actually see it to worry.
I suppose while I’m at it I might as well tell my story. Don’t worry, it won’t take very long. I’m 16 years old and female. My name is Lucy. I was born on April 18, 1998. To think at that moment in time I had no problems in life. […]
Most people in life have many people who would miss them… I have 1.
My entire life reads like a greek tragedy. First my mother didn’t want me and gave me health problems in an attempt to abort, then my siblings abused me physically (and sexually in one case), Then as I grew older the abuse got worse when we moved by my grandfather. My dad was never really around, and my family didn’t want, need, or had any wish to even see me… my mother would leave me places in the hopes I’d get taken and only my sister seemed to care (she was much […]
Honest question, one I’ve never had the guts to ask, but I feel like it’s safe to ask here. I grew up ugly, emotionally abused and neglected. It’s all I knew, and every bit of good I did ( raising my sister, joining the Coast Guard, being a good friend no matter what it cost me) was in spite of where and what I came from, not because of it. And I’m tried of fighting against everything I was raised in, just to be a good person. It takes all of my effort just to be normal, and sometimes it doesn’t feel like its worth it. […]
Sometimes it’s better sometimes it’s worse. Sometimes you can get up sometimes you can’t even gain strength to eat. No matter everyday I put on a smile and feel that she is serene like i have never known. I am very sick physically. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend. How much longer I can hide this from her. I over came MY depression and suicidal thoughts I fought off those demons and most the time I never once thought I would make it through. Years of self hatred and abuse have not done me any good. I am venting and trying to […]
I’ve seen too many things painful in my lifetime. Too many painful memories. When I was in sixth grade, I learned of a type of music called screamo, and a type of people called emos. I loved being a part of them, they actually felt more human than others. I got bullied for hanging out with them, liking the songs/bands. My dad almost went to jail, and he was the only one who could make me smile at that point. My mum vocally abused me, so the scars would be in my heart, not skin. My dad was the only thing I had. After awhile […]
Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]
I don’t know where to start I’m 30 I lost my mam 5 years ago my dad has Alzheimer’s my marriage broke up I was with another guy and he has just abused me so much the last year and a bit he killed the one thing that made me happy my little dog I just feel hopeless and actually cannot take anymore heartache I just want to die I don’t think I will ever have any happiness I am just done
I was sexually abused as a child. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused through childhood and my early teens. I’m super screwed up. I can’t control my emotions and I get depressed. Suicide seems very glamorous to me. I’ve thought about it ever since I was 7 or 8 years old. Life terrifies me unless I’m drinking or doing drugs. I’m a cutter. I’ve never attempted suicide because I always chicken out in the end, but I’m getting closer to the brink.
My mother has always suffered from severe, chronic (mono-polar) depression, and constant suicidal ideation. My brother and I inherited/learned this, but I am the only one in our family who has become “actively” suicidal. So far I’ve been committed more than a dozen times to various laughing academies for the spiritually bewildered, not to mention 3 comas, and other extended stays in hospital ICU’s due to my addiction to self abbreviation. I was even dead for more than two glorious, velvet black minutes, before they revived […]
HI. I’ve just found this site. I know if my boyfriend or friends or housemates knew I was here they would be devastated. But I am struggling.
I first attempted suicide and began a relationship with self-harm aged 15. I’m now 30. I have a standard abuse history. I most definitely am not original. My parents emotionally and physically abused me. My friend raped me at a party when I was 16. My boyfriend died when I was 17. My friend’s father used me as a sex pet when I was living with her family when I was 17. My boyfriend beat me when I was […]
basically I been molested by my step dad at age 5-8 my uncle forced me to have sex with my cousin jenny at age 6 while he molested her brother and sister at the same time. I been horribly beaten by my step dad from age 5-18, My moms side of the family outcasted me and hated me and treats me like pure crap. I was beaten by my step dad till I was either bleeding or he was tired. no one believed me and he was good at getting people to believe him. I been homeless for a year. I have done all kids […]
I’ve been depressed for years. Abused at an early age by a neaighbor.. That was the start. I got into trouble hung out with the assholes for no reason other them they were in pain too. I have a beautifal family who i love so much. It kills me to be the way i am. I went to prison i hurt people in fights and i paid dearly for it. I found out one day that i wasn’t like the sociopaths i was surrounded by and i had a massive nervous breakdown. I was. Sent to a psych ward and then i spent 18 months […]
I am 36..had a pretty rough life.. Not as bad as some, but still pretty rough.. I was sexually abused from about the age of 4 or 5 until I was about 11 by 2 family members..my grandfather and my uncle.. I started smoking pot at around 8 or 9, started drinking when I was I think 10.. Snuck out of my house and. Partied every weekend and would even sneak my parents liquer to school in sports bottles.. once I realized that I can escape this reality I did whatever I could and did it to the max.. I then started lsd and cocaine […]
My name’s DeathsAngel like the book I have arthritis, fibromialgia, CRPS, gird, aspergers, am bipolar, have manic depression, here voices, see a shadow, was abused as a child and am severely bullied. I have wanted to kill myself for three years. Last year I told my mom and she sent my to the hospital ever since then I have constant med switches but nothing is helping. I’m under eighteen so I have no say in my meds. I’m severally obese or at least medically obese, and ugly don’t even try to fight me on it. I have no self esteem. Make-up does nothing to improve […]
I’m a piece of fucking shit and this world should throw a “thank fuck he’s dead” no-expense-sparred party when I drop dead! After dreading my cousins wedding for days and not sleeping for the past week it’s turned out as bad as I imagined. Ofc it would because everything that could have gone wrong in my life has and always will occur… my mum dying shortly after I was born, being beaten and abused, bullied, being fucking retarded and barely hitting puberty, and being mentally ill.
I fucked up the whole day. I got lost driving to the place, I couldn’t find a seat and everyone […]
I need to know that there is someone else out there who has been molested, or sexually abused, or whatever you want to call it. I know there is somebody else, I just can’t find them.
I just feel like im drowning all the time. No, not drowning, sinking, rather. Silently sinking without a sound, with no one noticing. But then i guess i deserve no one noticing, since im quite possibly one of the worst friends ever to all my friends and im pretty sure my boyfriend is getting kind of sick of me as well. I just feel so depressed all the time, and its not like a really have much of a reason to be feeling like this because like ive never been abused or anything so its so stupid that i feel this way but i just […]
This morning I was meditating on sexual abuse because I was abused until I was about 10 or 11 and I’m having a hard time dealing with the grief. And I was asking myself: why are there so many people who stand by and let it happen?
Perfect example: dad abuses kid and mom pretends she does not know, but OF COURSE she knows. She might notice her kid is a little “off”, but thinks they’re still upset about being punished for mouthing off last week. She sees the cuts on her kid (which the kind did him or herself)Â but buys the story about the […]