at least thats how i feel, this is probably selfish, if not mean of me to even think, but hes wrong. everything is always worse to begin with but it can get better. if he isnt willing to get help hes gonna end up putting a weight 10x the one hes scared of on everyone’s shoulders. he won’t get better till he gets help. and until then hes a corpse waiting to happen. i need him to get help. i had to do it when i felt like i couldn’t. he’ll always feel like he can’t until he does. once he does he’ll see the need to. his family can’t feel the weight yet but i can. […]
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always
My health is gone i can’t recover, it’s been 5 painful yrs and i am still here…. I am tired of being hospitalize and being told i have nothing wrong with me and i am treated like i am crazy…. I tried eating natural stuff to cure my self and that in itself wasn’t helpful at all… I feel like i am in prison in my own body……. My family tells me not to give up and friends as well.. I have lost friends… this debilitating illness is drowning me… I feel like there’s no escaping this illness and i feel helpless…. I used to […]
Hey it’s me one of the many unknown here.I just…don’t have the power to speak to someone so i guess i will just you know write it here i guess somebody will see it.So i don’t know where to start but i aint gonna make this long i just don’t feel like it.I am here as always alone in my room after a couple of drinks just like always i burns on the inside i guess getting drunk is the only thing that helps me sleep.I’m just laying here alone i have nobody is the same day everyday i just think i’ll quit.I don’t think […]
Well guys i’ve been through a lot in my life and im only 21.. i just love talking to people and getting to know everyone like i wanted to be treated back when i was younger.. i was always alone and always picked on by so many people… i was made to feel so worthless and so empty. It come to the point where my own parents didnt even want to know me :c For 4 years they still havent seen me.. or talked to me and that hurts, mainly cause my bro and sis follow in my moms footsteps and listen to her… My […]
Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
I turned 25 Monday. I feel old. days with my boyfriend go up and down the arguments got bad then I finally stood up for myself and he realized he was close to losing me. I can’t lose him again I just can’t. but the craving for death is always here.. yes I know this made no sense. ps wanted to apologize for never posting my life story, I still keep putting it off
I think back to a time of the hopes and dreams I had years ago of who I was going to be and fast forward I feel like I’m nowhere near those dreams. Past betrayals have left me guarded which has left me in a state of not being able to connect to anyone. I internalize everything and in public I laugh and joke as a way to hide and cope. The irony is I work in a profession where I’m surrounded by people everyday and it is my job to help them feel and look better. With each of their smiles I hope that […]
I hate who I was and I don’t like who I am. Its hard to move on when your past is always looking at you. I can forgive myself, but I can’t forget the things I had to go through and had to subject others to go through. I was an ass and I admit it. I’m immature and scared to live my life. I joke when it is unnecessary and hide away from my life.
I say the wrong things a lot and just don’t understand people. I have no friends and am literally in the definition of a loner. I cannot connect with people my […]
I am so lost in this world, I have been alone for a lot of my life, and it has made me shy and quiet when it comes to meeting women. I have dated here and there but things never go well, and yet I hate being alone. I fell in love about a year ago with a woman, I dated a long time ago. We had a strong connection, and have hadd some really nice times together. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and now that things are falling apart between us, I am more depressed than ever. I will […]
All I wanted was to be with her. She was the only one that actually cares. She noticed me when no one else would. She hang out with me because nobody else wanted to. I fell in love with her then a week later she acts like I don’t exist and tells me she can’t be with me anymore. I try to be friends with her for the next week but I can’t understand why she would hurt me like that. I needed her more than anything in the world and she hates me for a reason I don’t even know and was never told. […]
Picture this: Someone has just started contemplating suicide, and they came up with a foolproof way out of this world. As they were getting lost in their own head, imagining their peaceful death, someone they love dearly pops into the picture, and all of a sudden they start shouting their name, crying out for help, but it’s too late. Their death is inevitable, leaving that loved one with nothing else to do but watch them fade away and cry. The person snaps back to reality and starts questioning everything, leading them to live another day… and another… and another…
Wherever our built-in survival instincts are stored in our […]
I am a 21 year old girl and people always like to hang out with me cause of my looks. When I tell people I’m depressed they don’t believe me cause they think I’m pretty and can have everything in the world I want. I am depressed since I was 13. I have always been nice towards everyone in my life and somehow people made use of it.
I don’t feel like I have anything or anyone to live for and don’t find anything to do I really like.
I go to University and am doing my Bachelor in IT but it gets harder and harder everyday […]
I’m not technically suicidal. I just wish I were dead. The relief. Or someone else who is normal. I am bipolar and I cannot be genuine in relationships. I cannot date. I keep myself to myself on my personal time. My best friends are all those I had as a young child. I was always funny (what fucked up person isn’t the funniest?) At work I am the funny hard worker. You’ll never see me bring depression or sadness into the workplace. No one would have a clue I’m drowning in my own ego. My friends don’t know anything. One actually complimented me just last […]
-she never responded to my texts, but she always called me when she was desperate for attention
-i talked to him one night and i got excited, but he was gone before the sun rose
-we hugged, but it never felt like it was right, it was always jagged and rough around the edges and i knew he wasn’t hugging me because he liked me, he was just doing it so a girl he liked would be jealous. it didn’t work
-we spun around the room laughing, but i knew that under those sparkling eyes she was trying to rip me apart and discover […]
As a child my father abused me terribly and I never felt warm caring love from my parents. Deep in my heart I know they did in their own ways, they just didn’t know how to show it. My father told me I was ugly and would never make anything of myself. Well I did, I became an alcoholic just like him. I have been married 3 times with 2 kids and now I have 3 grandchildren. I am a generous giver, always doing for others but sometimes I need just a crumb from someone to show me they care. Maybe they don’t. It could […]
When I was younger all I wanted to do was be an amazing person…
I wanted to be in the military, or become a lawyer,or an Olympic swimmer. As I got older something inside of me changed, I started losing myself. I lost people I loved and cared about. I was hurt by the mean kids in school. I was hurt by the people I wanted to love me that I loved so much, by the people that I wanted to make proud but no matter what I did I was just never good enough for. I realized that even if I […]
This is long, if you don’t mind, but I’m sad and I tend to get all blabbery when that happens.
Lately it’s been very apparent that people don’t cut me the same slack that they would virtually anyone else (literally, from douche bags to decent people and everywhere in between–this has been tested). And because this seems to be a repeating phenomenon; where I’m given not even a second chance, I can’t help but wonder: am I really so unsavory of both character and appearance that I warrant indecency? But even that doesn’t make sense to me. People have told me I’m “hot.” People have told me that I’m “really sweet.” People […]
Uh i just need to write this to someone,maybe this time someone out there will hear me i can’t do this anymore being ingored by everyone.So i guess this is a blog where we share our suicide stories it is my first time doing this i hope i don’t get judged even in here.So here is my story..My name will remain unknown for reason but i am 16 years old.When i was a little kid i was very very outgoing never shy of anyone i would always laugh and be happy i can say i had a pretty good childhood.but everything changed when i was […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
but myself. I can pretend like I enjoy this existence again but I am exhausted doing it. I went out with my grandmother yesterday and she bought groceries. She was happy to see that some since of normality has come back. It has not and she acts like she doesn’t notice. I am really the walking dead. Not as clever as I once were. The dark has always been comforting and this is my comfort zone. Suicide project. I am not holding out for miracles, much more logical than that. I am expecting the darkness to come again, My body has gotten adjusted to it […]