I was born to a drug adict that loved being passed around bars and biker gangs! No father. First 7 yrs in and out of foster homes, out only when she wanted to feel like a mother. Finally left at an orphanage. 2 years later adopted, it took them all of 5 yrs to realize they didn’t want kids( or just me). Back into foster ” care” for all of high school. Joined they navy, didn’t fit in. A dozen or so girlfriends all cheaters, boy can i pick them. 84 jobs before 30. In that time ( mostly as a teen) tried to kill […]
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why must i live only to be hit.
why must my life always be in pain.
why does no one care when they see this kind of thing?
why is it that when people see the buses they laugh and stare?
why does no one care what happens to me? why does everyone think its funny?
is it because you hear and see it on the news everyday a father who is drunk punches his child and gets a way with it i tryed getting help only to be told you are a lier and a sinner thats why you deserve it. i walk alone on […]
the way i feel has no words. i live day in and day put of not being wanted by anyone. i am a burden to everyone i speak with. i annoy people. there’s something very off about who i am. why am i so strange?
i just want someone to listen to me. ive been used by others for disgusting factors. people tire of me easily
i bring bad luck to whomever im with
im just devastating as a person.
nobody at 18 years old should feel like me. i wish i was normal i wish i didn’t want to die. i wish someone cared. i wish […]
This job did its job. It took me some to understand what has fallen through. I was freaking out initially because such changes always seem terrifying at first. I recalled a post of mine where I wrote that I can’t follow my way because I have to bear the burden of sustaining my body/ I feel obligation towards my parents/ I hate society and can’t help influence of people while interacting with them. It now seems that all these things were direct or indirect products of my not having a job. I am saying that because these things are vanished now, I no longer feel […]
when i was here last it was my birthday and i was quite certain that it was my last day . a lot has happened since then that i think you all may find at least interesting if not useful. i was quite determined to kill myself-had the means, a location(not going to mess up my own home), wrote instructions as to what i wanted for a funeral, gotten my affairs in order etc. i wrote here, told everyone what i was going to do, then left the house. got to my location, sat down and wrote in my journal, called my (then) therapist leaving […]
I am perfectly happy… Then my eyes open and im back here where i dont belong… Back here where i am helpless and hopeless… Its such a cruel world… No i have to go on auto-pilot… And pretend to belong.
How will I face reality? How will i be strong enough? In reality the cold hard truth is revealed. In reality i am forced into this shell that is damaged and different. In reality thoughts of how worthless, ugly, fat and not good enough i am rush into my head. In reality thoughts of the future worry and scare me. In reality i ask myself “When will this end?” when i should be focusing on “How will this end?” So how? How can i stop hiding my pain and my fears and be okay. How am i going to be strong enough to not have […]
I’m 23 years old and I have one year of college left. I am getting a double major in two major arts fields that probably won’t get me a job. I have absolutely no money and am completely dependent on my parents; living at home right now while I take classes. I can’t stand being dependent on them and constantly feeling like I “owe” them. They still try to control me in many ways. It didn’t bother me until this summer but now it’s really getting on me…I feel like I am suffocating. I am already depressed and the fact that I don’t even own […]
For as long as i can remember i felt like i dont belong. As i get older i feel it even more. I cannot die tho i welcome the thought. You see i have kids and grandkids. But most of the time i feel they wud be better off without me around. Everything i touchgoes to crap. Everyone i love leaves. I tried to end my life twice a long time ago and failed at that just as i fail at everything. I am now in the middle of my 4th divorce and have finally figured out i am meant to be alone. I just […]
Hey guys,
Honestly, i am not suicidal right now, but generally i feel empty.
I am 17 and there is very little good about my life right now.
Academically i have detoriated.
I have literally no friends, i like a girl, but she doesn’t like me.
Nothings going for me right now.
So ill be blunt,
DOES IT GET BETTER?
Do things become better. Does not getting into a good college mean the end of life?
my life matters. to my girlfriend and her son anyway. i am fighting for them. also, im scared of death. doctors might be able to help me one day. i will keep looking for a job, and not end it all just yet. maybe never.
I dont understand why i hate myself to where i want to die. Somehow i envy the dead. Theyre so peacful and here are us. Walking about in agony and such sadness. Why cant things be better? Why do I try so hard and end up going no where or being the fifth wheel? what am i meant for besides being a total failure?
Hi this is my first Post, am 37 married mother of 4 kids and I deeply depressed, for so long I can not remember when I wasn’t, situations in my life are some of the reasons which contribute to my feelings, I recently found out my husband of 13years was cheating on me and even when I confronted him he didn’t even apologize just gave me a cold shoulder worse of all he doesn’t take of us well and if you ask him to provide for the kids he always say he doesn’t have money so many a times am left to carry urge burden […]
um hi,
this is my very first post. i should probably tell you guys a little bit about me i guess. well, my name is Andromeda, i am 16 year old, high school junior, and i live in California. I have had a great childhood, and i have wonderful family, and friends. I am very grateful for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, and the clothes on my back. But i have ALWAYS felt extremely depressed all of the time. Despite my perfect life i have been bullied severely throughout my whole life, and i have never told my family or friends. […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbgdCzGfFt4
today we finished bringing all of my stuff back to my old room where i grew up, in my parents’ house. for two years i tried escaping this place, and six months ago i succeeded. then depression took hold of me once again, and now i’m back here. crushed between these four walls i’m hurt. i can’t handle the bureaucracy ending the contract of my old place. i am tired. i am broken. it feels like the world is slipping through my fingers. i need a quiet place to put my head for a while and forget about everything, and the old house isn’t […]
im sorry everyone for posting so much. i am trying to get help for my health issues. just know that i have my reasons. keep fighting the good fight.
Hey guys,
I have been suicidal for about 4 months now. And i have been cutting for the past one month.
It all started with this girl, who i liked but who didnt even think of me as a friend, and she had and still has a boyfriend. I started feeling useless and i talked to her, got to know her, i fell for her harder and i feel like shit all the time.
i dont have many friends, and it doesn’t help. I cant talk to my parents about this.
More importantly, i am in +2 rn, so college from next year. And i have practically stopped studying […]
Ever since this early year, i have this goal to inspire people and be inspired. I want to help people as many as i can, because i know how it feels like to be helpless. I want to emphatise for them, and it is also strangely a way for me to cope with my problems.
I found this website and i thought, hey this is perfect for me, i can safely tell my insecurities and what a major fucked up i am, and i can support people although they may not notice.
I want to inspire people and clearly that goal has not been reached yet, afterall […]
Now I want to kill myself for the simple fact that I’m sick to death of every person on earth saying I’m bat shit crazy and fucked up in the head because I want love in my life!!!! Everyone since I was a kid has said that it’s wrong for me to think about love or want love!! Now I get called bat shit crazy and am said to not know what love is or be capable of loving anyone!!! I am going to fucking kill myself this year so everyone can shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!
I am in total emptiness. I am useless,lazy and i am hated by my wife which is pathetic. I cant see my cute daughter because i am restricted to. I made several suicide attempts in which I failed and i tried to live also which I observed i am not capable of.I am just passing my time In cyber cafe and alcohol shops just for my parents.Anyone can talk or share thoughts with me because i am 2 years experienced in suicide and negative feelings.
Thanks