I’ve experienced all I need to now, I’ve loved, I’ve smiled, cryed and been torn apart. I’m ready to move on to the afterlife now, whats the point. I have no ambition or drive, or any passions, other then just being with a beautiful guy, but that will never happen, nobody cares for me or my tragic tale and says its a load of bullshit. Everyone these days are WAY WAY WAY WAY too different and freaky and it cause for way too many disagreements and incompatabilities! This world is officially FUCKED and I want out, now!! VERY soon, I will be heading to the […]
The black ominous shadows loomed up and faded away as I ran through the halls of what seemed to be a dungeon.
Up a head a figure sat in a curled ball against the dingy wall, as I approached I saw her bruised eyeless face “ indulgeo quis is has perfectus tamen nunquam alieno “ it hissed at me.(forgive what she has done but never forget)
Spasm’s of pain racked my body as memories forced there way into my head.
My torso convulsed as more waves came upon me, worst than the next,its like standing on the bottom step and having throwing knives hurled down stairs.
But no matter how […]
take me way to a better place things havent been so great down here theres evil everywhere in the deep and darkest place and right in the light right infront of your face looking at you watching you as you look over your shlouder wondering when they will strick when they will take you away when they will make your life even worse then it already is… some people have an angel watching over them others have a demon making things worse for them every corner they take every move they make watching them as you sit there not kowning what to do next how […]
Love. It’s such a simple thought, yet it’s so complicated. We spend our whole lives looking for that one person. That one person that loves you unconditionally. That one person that wants to be with you forever. That one person that understands.
I found this person 7 months ago. He’s perfect, absolutely perfect. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. He understands i’m manic depressive. He understands I sometimes need my space. He understands I’ll be suicidal. It’s a feeling of content in your heart, when you know you’ve found the one and only person you want to be with forever.
I have breakdowns. Because I have mental health problems. And these breakdowns are quite possibly some of the scariest things I have to endure. I don’t get a choice, They can happen at random. And yeah, Sometimes I want support.. So I attention seek. But considering at all other times all I am trying to do is make others happy, I thought people would be able to let that go.. But no.
I’m fucking sick of this. The world is a cruel selfish *****, Just like me probably. I know most of you have thought that before.. I wanted to stick around for the good things […]
Please Dear God,
Take me away from here. I’ll do it myself if you’ll take my fear.
I’ll take the knife so sharply, so swift, the instant release will be like a gift.
Jumping is not the answer : I would fear the fall. Pleasae Lord, Send an Angel, for Death has come to call.
I can’t wait much longer trapped here like a mouse, i feel like a prisioner within my own house.
Thank You, Dear Lord, for allowing me this escape, thank you thank you Lord, to meet you i can’t wait.
To embrace me in your gentle hug, to finally feel the warmth of love.
So Dear Lord, Please […]
My name is Lyndsay & this is my experience in hell on earth.
I’m 20 years old, female, college student.
The craziest year of my life started August of 2011… Right around my birthday…. It seems like my birthday is a celebration of the worst times in my life. It’s like oh joy but not why you might think.
I was attending college and living at home with my mom and little brother. I had known that my mom had an addiction to pills all of my childhood. This has caused more problems than you can imagine (example seeing her go through withdraws and throwing […]
I am leaving love around the corner with the heavens.
I am not an angel
Nor ever will be
I am something else from the darkness now.
I am leaving that side of myself where it was orignally from.
I will never be a princess
I will never be
Something that had love.
I am sorry I have failed
Memories are dead and gone, anyways
It doesn’t matter
I made a huge mistake, Tried to fix it, but I failed.
Will never be fixable ever again.
Isolation is who i was ever since
I don’t care anymore.
I don’t need help
I’m just tired of fighting for something i will never have… again
The stars have faded
and so has everything else.
Goodbye hopeless […]
so i’ve heard that there are good people in the world. and i have this stepfather who is generally an angel. but he’s, i would suppose, human. human in that-
somewhere, deep down, when nobody’s looking, people are petty, blind, stupid, immature, ingenuine, farcical, prejudiced, lying, selfish, ungrateful, sex-driven, etc. in some way
and i just can’t stand being surrounded by all of it. for some reason i suspect everybody of having these ugly sides. i’m all of the above too. and for some reason i just can’t stand that this is the world we live in. i usually ignore it but today it just drove me […]
“I’d wish to never rememberâ€
“It just hurts every time I doâ€
“Every one had moved on…
                                 Why can’t I…?â€
Afraid to be loved
cuz I know that love isn’t for me
Afraid to be loved
cuz all I do is hurt
Being rushed
cuz I know they’ll leave just like that
All the memories of the good
Taunts me every day
Two to three years wasn’t anything
AÂ long distance
Terrified
I sinned
My guilt
My regret
I wasn’t patient enough
Forgive and forget
Easier said then done
I broke his heart
It was my mistake
I wanted him the most
I wanted Angel to come and rescue me
But no he didn’t
He couldn’t
He wanted to be with his friends more
Than to be with me
I came back […]
omg, so the ***** and i r home alone, she tells me to do HER chores. well i did them for her the past 3weeks im tired of it. so i said no then she threatened to beat me with the belt,so i tore it out of her hands and pushed her to the ground. she screamed “ABUSER ABUSER!”and called 911!!! omfg! ***** r u fucking stupid. luckily nothing happened but still she is so stupid. well yeah i hate her. think shes an angel? hang around her. she is a *****. SHE IS SATANS ***** DAUGHTER. she can go to hell. its her home.
Yesterday was nothing but a dream
It never really happened
When I look outside the window I see nothing but a nightmare
The dreams that I once accepted are now all gone
Just a faded memory
The only time that I’ll wake up from this nightmare
When my prince will come and rescue me
From this prisoned darkness.
The blackest of them all
AÂ pit where infinity goes on forever
AÂ melt down
An angel that will carry me off
Carry my heart with them.
I already miss that feeling.
Darkness and the enemy has taken me away for a long time
It was such an adventure but now
IÂ just want to feel safe
Feel protected
And feel loved
Feel accepted
I want my broken wings to be fixed
IÂ already learned my […]
Stupid memories leave me alone
No one cares
So stop
Angel doesn’t care as well
It’s too late
If he cared he would have answered he’s phone already
He would have texted Shadow back
He would have replied to his email
He already told Shadow to stop worrying about it
Shadow already know it is too late
Only thing to do is give up the fight
Shadow has to surrender this friendship.
Shadow understands
Angel doesn’t want to be friends anymore
Shadow knows her faults
Always be her fault
She should leave now
Angel doesn’t care
Reality is a *****
But Shadow really does understand
She hope to understand
She tried
But its too late
I’m sorry
I have failed you
You were a great friend
Actually might have been a great; best friend
I posted here two years ago or more. I’m not really sure. I was thinking of ending my life that day and I know the general reasons why, but I don’t know what brought those thoughts so hard that day–just like today. Sitting in my chair, working, then suddenly, like a flash mob of pain and ache and emptiness. Fatelessness.
Everyone adores me for my personality now. I can’t believe how social I can be sometimes, and then nothing, nothing at all, but the desire for nothing, and peace, and a bed made of endless dreams. I know why people do heroin.
I’ve made a plan. I […]
I wake up..find a brush and put on a little makeup..just to hide the scars and fade away the shakeup. Told him I came back because I left the keys on the table, but he knew that I was creating another fable. He thinks I wanted to. He doesnt even trust in my long-wanted suicide. I cry…cause when he calls me “Angel” I want to die.
It is truly hard to say.
But today has become the day.
Swearing to be more.
All to hear your every adore..
I do not want to be adored..
I’d much rather be ignored.
My hate envelopes me.
My blood it falls for only thee.
I once said I’d die without you.
But I never asked what you would do.
Ive sharpened my knife and said my good word.
Though it may never be heard.
Hardly can one accept my means to an end but..
It’s so much easier to bleed by the cut.
I once screamed to your face and begged for your love.
An Indiana toddler named Angel initially survived a devastating tornado that killed the rest of her family last week. But the 14-month-old was taken off life support Sunday and died. So go right ahead, pull the trigger – No problem.
I remember I was the sweetest girl you would ever meet but that all changed when people started bullying me.I got bullied every single day.By everyone and by my family.My mom would always yell at me and my brother would beat me.My other brother would want nothing to do with me.My dad you ask?Lets see he had left me and my mom when I was 5 years old.People would call me fat,ugly,pathetic,Ect.Basiclly all the names in the book.I didnt understand what I did at the time.I would believe everything they said I had so much pressure on me and I still do.That pressure […]
Well I talked with my ex today, a very heavy conversation… one that (sadly) but also good i guess if the ideal situation is achieved after this point, saved me from myself today. While I didn’t really push or care what her response was, she randomly threw me a bone, the very chance I wished came a lot earlier. Minimal contact for 2 months, and at the end, we will reconvene with different perspectives on where to go from there, i am feeling this is a 50/50 chance right now that it does come with the results i wish. While I am also hating that […]
How do you cope?
when your…
…friend who you thought was your best friend left you?
…mother decides not to believe in you and wants to disown you?
…brother and sister decides to not stand up for you and stay with your mother instead, even though you truly believe you are right?
…only friends are the good friends, but no close friends?
…love life is in shit-hole?
…university academic is being affected by your drastic (depression) behavior?
…thoughts of suicide is re-surfacing, stronger than ever?
I am sleeping alone now in a hotel. My mother just left me to sleep in our new apartment. My brother […]
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