umm hey my name is sasha … && i think im going through depression right now … Im 15 years old … And i think it all started when i was 13 years old and my mom took me away from my country peru to move into USA where my brothers lived. ( i think she mostly moved because of this dude she me and that she though she was gonna marry him ) so i left my father with cancer and i blame myself for this . After i turned 15 … On march 29th my father passed away . He was a really […]
Tag:
Anger
I just stumbled on this page accidently. But maybe this will be helpful. My older sister committed suicide over 20 yrs ago. I have mental illness in my family and several of us have it, including myself. I grew up with an alcoholic father and uncaring mother to give you a short and fast history of my family. Due to my mental history (suffering with bipolar disorder for 24 yrs, since I was 18) and dealing with the loss of my sister, I attempted suicide 6 yrs ago. I took my psychiatric medication plus some medical meds and as much tylenol as I could swallow. […]
I couldn’t sleep so i took sleeping pills. They didn’t really sleep it was more like being paralyzed. I could feel hear but couldn’t stop him from having sex with me like that. I confronted him and he denied it. We fought and he said it would never happen again. I had no where to go. I was trapped. He went where I went. My first break  at help was a cop who said a husband can’t rape his wife. 5 yrs later some one stepped in. I had a child with him.
They lied said i was a druggie whore and other stuff and my lawyer […]
I feel so lost. Idnt know wat to do anymore. Evryday iwakeup go go to to school and force myself to smile wen all ireally wana do is jst stay in bed and cry. Lately its gotten harder to pretend im ok. Ijust feel so sad and angry and useless. Icant get through a skool day without having to run into a stall to cry and cut myself and even that dsnt help much. Ijust dnt know how to deal wit my feelings of hurt anger and pain anymor i feel so alone. I hav people that call themselves my friends but they dnt notice […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
Money sucks. I hate how everything now is revolving all around it, and oh, of course: profits.
I don’t feel like I belong in this fucking boring all-about-money-and-profits world.
After 2012, if nothing happens, I might plan my own suicide.
bye bye crazy world,
maybe I do belong to another world/dimension/life.
“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.” – Agent Smith (The Matrix)
Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore
by niki
written by niki
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
I’m so tired of all the condescending niceties people say to me. Â They tell me it’ll get better. Â It’s been over 8 years and no, it hasn’t. Â They say maybe a different drug will help. Â I’ve been on 9 different drugs in various combinations and no, nothing has worked for any significant amount of time. Â They tell me that exercise will help. Â I did cross country and track throughout high school and that never helped in the slightest. Â They tell me to “fake it until you make it.” Â Why don’t I get a steel baseball bat and you can “fake it until you make it” […]
I’ve felt this way before. A raw ache in the pit of my stomach. A crushing need to rip myself open and destroy what’s inside. I want to burn until even the ashes are gone. The pain is so urgent. The need to end it is so great. I try to ignore it. Push it away. Bury it. Pretend it’s all okay. Be the person I’m supposed to be.
Get up, take a shower, get dressed, go to work. Do my job with a smile. Be friendly. Be outgoing.
(But never let anyone get too close. Don’t let them see the pain. Don’t let them see the […]
I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.
I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.
So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]
…about this world and the REAL “Reality” we’re all living in,
that’s been hidden intentionally by ‘The-Powers-That-Be’ (ie: governments, Top people, CIAs, big corporate execs, even Vatican priests and a lot of religious leaders all around the world!).
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread523618/pg1
Just read it for yourself
take the “red pill” and travel deeper down the “rabbit hole”.
Conclusion: we are really living in the Matrix. that the ‘higher-up’ governments etc DON’T want us “ordinary people” to know, so they can keep CONTROLLING us!
No wonder the “real-world” sucks…’cuz it’s NOT the REAL Reality!
We’ve all been lied up by the “higher” authority figures, straight from when we’re childhood entering school!
Expand […]
Life is a *****, and I like what the other poster yesterday posted here: “shit do happensâ€. it’s unfair. and even I myself still try to determine whether everything is totally pure random coincidences (and thus some got dealt the bad deck of the cards), or there is some kind of Providence or Higher Forces (God? Aliens? ETs?) who ‘play’ with our fate/destiny…and a seemingly “cruel†one at that, but hey, They are free to make ‘experiments’, right?..
I love philosophy but questioning the things that we base our lives on scares me whilst exciting me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no friends to hang out with, outside of school. I lost the few I had. I spend my days on the computer looking for things to put my mind to. I eagerly search for films and music that somehow relates to my endless negative feelings in order to find some connection with another person, even though I have never met them and they are oblivious of my existence. I saw my psychologist for the first time a week […]
A mundane, boring, dull, and hellish real world where it’s NOT supposed to be…
by niki
written by niki
Let’s face it: the real-world, especially one invented by normal mainstream society, can be boring dull as hell.
I often feel like I don’t belong here in this real world, and probably belong to other planet/universe/dimension.. already I’ve tried to find & browse for some clues that there are so much more mysteries & even magical things outside of our dull, limited earthly-sensed physical body called human.
and maybe I’ll migrate there, perhaps even sooner.
Although I still love the Earth (as a planet),
and admittedly even some Good citizens of it, ie: the warm, light-hearted, the intellectual, the ‘philosopher’ kind who can exchange conversations […]
Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.
Fuck it.
Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]
Part 2 of the 16 series
so far very interesting & mind-opening…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cMcoikRddw
It’s been a feeling I’ve had for a while now. I don’t know what to think of it, why it started, or when it will end, but It’s been going on for quite a while.
I hate my home life. I was adopted and don’t know my birth parents who still talk to my parents about me. I have an 18 year old sister who wants nothing to do with me, a dad who spends most of his time in his office at home or at work, and I have a bipolar mother who is mostly mad at the stupidest things. I do the best I […]
In previous topic before this, I’ve talked & admitted about how I’m still jobless now,.and still living with my parents. I feel so ashamed, and especially for my parents, who are admittedly much more ‘practical’ than me & my ‘head-in-the-clouds’ imaginative personality,..which can act like a damn “curse” quite often. and all the ADHD, bipolar, easily bored/depressed/lose focus,..stuff like that!
So now, here I am,..almost 29 yrs old,..and still a fucking ‘loser’ as far as I can see..
and although as much as I often said that I don’t CARE about what society (even my family & parents & relatives!) keep saying, bombarding, pressuring, and […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuVuMslQWGs
Powerful.
Just want to share.
Watch it ’till ending,
and get enlightened
for the power of your choices and Life
…before ending it all.