I’ve done some things that I can’t live with , so why do I to put on this fake smile? Everyday for me consists of keeping a lid on myself,
I don’t go one day without contemplating suicide, I literally spent 9am-5pm goggling quick suicide methods and I ‘m beginning to think pills will take to long.
Fuck, today I couldn’t even carry on a conversation with my own mom without my
anxiety going through the damn roof. Man, I haven’t left my room for shit today. My body is hungry
but mentally I am full. Weed doesn’t even make me hungry anymore but at […]
I don’t want to die, at least I don’t think I do. I just want to make that clear.
2 years ago I was cutting. Often. Almost everyday. I was angry and sad and angry at being sad. I didn’t know how to respond to these feelings, I pushed my mum away and I cut. Not very deep, but frequently, and over and over again in the same place Each fresh cut over a healing one The sight of that blood it helped.
Then i moved in with my dad and he caught me. I got better. I stopped. Every now and them I admired those fading […]
Does anyone know of any good suicide/depression chat rooms where there are people going through the same thing as me. Preferably one that isn’t constantly interjected by some annoying therapist. I hate life so much and no one going through the same things as me has any interest in chatting. I have anxiety too so it is hard just waiting to email people back and forth. I really need to find a chat room. Any suggestions?
so its been a while since i wrote something on here so here it is . i have to take summer school beacuse in 9 grade i failed on my credites  it was because of my anxiety i would never come to school i hated being there beacause  i always felt trapped .today i started online summer school it was easy and cool forr mee beacuse you  only misss one day iff you miss another day they kick you out so im doing it online . i felt calm and relaxed not like in regular school wwere im shaking or crying .i ave to do […]
I just don’t know where to turn anymore. I’ve had tons of problems my whole life, like anxiety, depression, alcoholism. My mother recently had a massive stroke in November of last year, and hasn’t recovered. And a little over a month after that, I lost my only brother to pills. I really don’t know what to do. I have never fit in this world, and the one person that always gave me motivation to keep going is now gone. My drinking has gotten completely out of hand, and the idea of getting sober and staying that way, well, scares the hell out of me. My […]
im dyslexic so some of my writing may read oddly. i am planning on taking my life.  i am female mid twenties and have been through the exhausting trial and error of meds ,GPs and counselors. my real issue is social exclusion and bullying. i m an easy target since i m painfully shy , unattractive , and i  am almost incapable of smiling, and being able to talk with flow and interest. i was a mute child and i find social situations very difficult. the only work i can get is retail , this is traumatic for me as talking to some difficult people can lead me with shakes, sweats , and  exstream anxiety. i am probably branded […]
when i was 8, i was sexually abused. my mom was an alcoholic almost my whole life, my dad abanded me when i was so young, came back around in my life when i was 15 and choose his new family over his kids. my “best friends” put my secrets all overs facebook to use it against me when we got into a fight. we made up, but i havent fully forgaven them because i have horrible trust issues. im in love with my best friend, and we almost were together BUT of course she found someone better. my whole life ive been made fun of for […]
today I feel incredibly weak. I’m trying to get on track by forcing myself to eat and work out and keep busy but today I feel like I’m staring at the finish line, hesitating to cross it.
Work is tedious, there’s too much of it, keeps me overly busy. Leaves me with large gaps of time to think about the idea of working and how stupid it is for me to be doing it considering that I want my life ended.
I think the same thing about my life; why bother, because I don’t want any of this? I don’t want to save my game, but just […]
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
Once again, I am back from the hospital for suicidal thoughts and depression… Yippy. Just what I want, right? Wrong. I wish that I didn’t have to come back to school… I hate it here…. Anywaysssss I was there also for my anger. I have a terrible temper and I needed to get that under control also, but mostly, I was there for my depression… I tried to OD yesterday also and tried to cut open my arms. Sounds great, doesn’t it? God, why can’t I just be happy…? Even if it’s for a minute. Why?
I have no idea what to do. I just need some help, I guess.
So, here’s my story.
I’ve been battling depression & anxiety for 7 years now. I’m sure I’m not unique here.
I’ve also been fighting Interstitial Cystitis for 3 years. Basically, my immune system is trying to kill my bladder. I’m in constant pain. It feels very similar to giving birth. I can’t deal with the pain anymore, and there is nothing the doctors can do to stop the disease or the pain.
I just broke up with my boyfriend of nearly a year a few weeks ago. Not a problem. We just didn’t […]
hey everyone …..xx
hope you are all well .. <——- that question is so fckn annoying dontcha think .. = of course we are not well dumbass !!
well i know im not – i dont know what to do .. im so lost – numb – sick of my life !… im so scared im confused ..
today ive not really been in touch with reality to be honest – ive not even got washed or dressed – TRAMP ALERT !
I’m 41 yo female, I don’t have any kids. My family don’t talk to me. I have been formally diagnosed with aspergers. I have a low grade glioma in my brain stem (superior colliculus). I have a chiari 1 malformation. Both the tumour and chiari cause migraines, nausea and anxiety. I’m depressed, and everyone I speak to says that is understandable given my situation. I havent any friends – thanks to a combination of my aspergers and terminal illness. People walk away as if it’s catching or something. I’ve tried phoning helplines but all they […]
Most people would say I have a pretty average life. I have two married parents and a healthy sister. I don’t have or know everything in fashion, but I do dress decently. I have some acne. My hair frizzes out from time to time. And I have plenty of friends.
But what they don’t know is this. My two married parents talk about divorce. They fight all the time. Even my mom is a recovering alcoholic. My sister may be healthy, but she tells me I don’t deserve to live, nobody likes me. My clothes have to cover my back because the […]
i feel empty. exhausted. so deeply sad.. & mad that nobody i know has the time to care.. despite having felt similar before & me having been there for them.
it is very fucked up.
i still miss the love of my life after 6 years.
but if i did die tomorrow.. i would feel that i had loved & been loved.
now i have ocd/anxiety/depression/phobias/ & what feels like a million more things wrong & a situation that has completely trapped me. i want to scream. i often do.
every time things get a little better.. somehow something else goes wrong & i am […]
Can anyone relate? Can anyone understand? Am alone?
I am 42, and have battled with success and failure all my life. I am a high school drop out, who has struggled my whole life, but have always held roles in the financial sector primarily mortgage related. A few years ago the industry was totalled with the fall of the economy, and many blame it on mortgage’s and I cannot disqualify this. However I have always walked the line, doing what is right, and what is honest, while watching those around me, become wealthy, and having no concious. Sometime I really regret, being the stand up guy. […]
I may be going to boarding school year after next. It’s this amazing science school in the state, and I REALLY want to go, but I’m also TERRIFIED.
I’m not good enough for my shitty public school, much less this place!
But I want to go so bad. It’s exactly what I want; a way to get the fuck out of here and get started on college before 4 years are up.
But I don’t want to go through going to a new school again. Even if everyone would be new.
But I wanna be a medical examiner; if I have the opportunity to go to a school that […]
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
So, I really am not sure what to start with except obviously I feel like something is very wrong or I wouldn’t be on here and I don’t want to here “you’ll be fine.” Thoughts of killing myself have been increasing over the last year or so after a bad breakup with long term girlfriend which involved an abortion that wasn’t mutually desired and ended in months of resentment and mistreatment of each other. I still love her.
I’ve broken up with girls, it hurts, but these feelings are lasting far too long. It confuses me because there should be no reason for me to […]
In a state of perfect suspension
Floating in undetermination
Waves of anxiety growing
Drowning and dying in frustration
Death on my face barely showing
Losing myself in the painful sea
Undefined creature torture to be
Forever shifting in unmade Mind
Unsure of any reality
My created world now to me lies
Kill me now, my doubted creator
Unbalanced, uncompensated I suffer
Unknowingly giving all my heart
I am ever unable to conquer
This infectious hope of a new start
Confusion seeps in and soaks my soul
Unable to understand the whole
Torturous cycle never ending
Thousand fire burnt heart black as coal
Light my apathetic soul defeating
Peace, that […]