Once again, I am back from the hospital for suicidal thoughts and depression… Yippy. Just what I want, right? Wrong. I wish that I didn’t have to come back to school… I hate it here…. Anywaysssss I was there also for my anger. I have a terrible temper and I needed to get that under control also, but mostly, I was there for my depression… I tried to OD yesterday also and tried to cut open my arms. Sounds great, doesn’t it? God, why can’t I just be happy…? Even if it’s for a minute. Why?
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2 comments
Happiness is something I could never hold onto. It always seems like a memory more than it does a feeling. I’m tired of remembering. I just try to try, because that’s the only thing I think I’ve ever known.
How you feel is not your fault. Most likely you learned this behaviour during your upbringing because it wasn’t the most loving environment. Hopefully knowing that allows you to feel better. If you want to be happy , be happy and fulfilled for YOU, not cause your behaviour is supposed to make anyone else happy…you’re #1. Cheers!